


Kylo/Reader - Torn

by EllaBellaBumble



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Erotica, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feels, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Force Choking, Force-Sensitive Reader, Light BDSM, Lightsaber Battles, Lightsabers, Oral Sex, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Reader-Insert, Saber Play, Smut, Spoilers, The Dark Side of the Force, The Finalizer, The First Order, the resistance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2018-07-26 22:51:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 52,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7593403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaBellaBumble/pseuds/EllaBellaBumble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're a force user, but only you need to know that. It's not like you need everyone fighting over you, unless it's Kylo of course. Although when dragged aboard The Finalizer, you'll realise Kylo Ren, is the least of your problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jimmy J

The world had pretty much gone to shit. Your world, their world, the next world. No one was safe from The First Order. Unless of course you worked for The First Order.

You weren't one for politics. Good, bad, none of it mattered to you, you wanted a piece of both sides. You had always known you could use the force, ever since being young. But with no family and no friends why should you tell anyone? You'd only have to suffer watching The Resistance and The First Order fight over you. No, that didn't appeal to you, not at all. You'd roam along, living the life you wanted and no one could tell you how to use your power and why should they, it was yours to do as you pleased.

You had never met another force user, people didn't know much about it any more. With Skywalker missing and Starkiller base keeping the galaxy in order, people didn't really tend to ask. 

You'd been on Takodana for exactly a month and eight days, it was vast and beautiful and green. But it wasn't home, no where was any more. It was just where you had happened to find yourself after the last time you nearly got caught. 

You'd last been on Ilum stealing crystals, because man did you want to try and build a functioning lightsabre. You'd managed to escape with your goods, but only just. The locals didn't take kindly to their holy crystals being stolen, besides you wouldn't really want to steal something that you didn't intent to use and if you did intend (which you did) to use them, then they'd have figured you were force-sensitive and just like that the battle of who get's to keep you would have commenced.

~~~

You'd woken up early on this particular morning, making yourself a cup of tea you slunk back onto your bed, it wasn't much to look at, you'd convinced the owner of the small brick building to let you sleep there, when they had found you one day just sleeping.

\---

"Make one sudden move and I will kill you"  there was a knife placed against your throat your eyes hadn't even fully adjusted.

"Hey, hey slow down, I'm not going to hurt you," you had mumbled rubbing your eyes and looking up to see the culprit of the dull threat. 

A fat particularly rotund man, old and grey. If the knife hadn't have been on your throat he wouldn't have stood a chance against you, "why are you in my shed then?"

"Well I needed a place to stay, I have had worse, look I am only going to be here for two months, if you can spare me, this...shed, until then I can make it worth your while," you smiled standing and stretching off the make shift bed you had structured a few days prior.

"How do you know what's worth my while girl?" he jabbed the knife from earlier into the air and spun round to a stack of papers, placing that down and picking them up. As they came into view you noticed what they were and you knew at that point exactly what was worth his while. Having visited so many different places, you'd come to steal things of significant value and you always seemed to find them worthwhile at the best of times.

"You collect them?" you gestured

"Oh yeah, all my years, I nearly finished, you see, I need eighty-nine and thirty-two...you read these girl? They're pass your time, besides don't see how this is relevant they only published a hundred copies of eighty-nine before Jimmy J passed away, not had any more since."

"Jimmy J comics were my favourite, just because they're past my time," you lied. Five months ago you'd stolen the only mint copy left of the eighty-ninth comic, you knew you'd sell it for a pretty penny, but you thought this would have to do, besides it was just a dumb old man comic.

"If I gave you the eighty-ninth comic, mint condition, could I stay here, I'd need food and a proper bed, I'd need to make the place my own,"

"Heck girl if you had the eight-ninth in mint, you could have the place and anything you needed, for as long as you'd like!" the crotchety old man perked up.

"See that back pack over there," you said eyeing it up in the corner.

The man looked puzzled and contemplated your seriousness for a while, before hobbling to the back pack and pulling out said comic. 

"Girl, by god I don't want to know where this is from, or how you came by it, but you got a deal," he spun round handing you the bag pack and holding out his hand. 

You shook it, "the names ____, nice to meet you Jimmy J"

He beamed at you, "I'll keep the name too, it's better than mine," he gave a hearty chuckle and in that moment you knew you'd grow to like him.

\---

The shed was no longer a shed, it was pretty much a house, a decent size bed, a cooking station and even a chair and some books that you'd been practicing your sketching in. But most importantly you had cleared the entire space in front of the shed, so you could start piecing together your saber. Jimmy J was suspicious of why you needed scraps of metal and tools, but he wasn't too bothered, after all he had only one copy to find now, it kept him busy. 

It must have been noon before you had bothered coming out of the shed, Jimmy J usually was at Maz's place, you'd come to realise she was the order on Takodana. She was nice, but you was pretty sure, she knew something was off about you, maybe she was force sensitive too, you'd thought, but you wasn't too worried, not while ever she didn't say anything, besides you'd got really good at blocking people. 

You strolled up to Maz's castle, you were sporting your navy blue tight trousers and your white shirt, along with your brown sleeveless leather jacket which had followed you everywhere and that you didn't even steal. You also always carried, your backpack, with your essential stuff, you were far too used to having to leave in a hurry. 

Trudging through the largely wet jungle you finally made it and much to your surprise there was a new comer. You hadn't seen this ship before, you'd seen many generic ones, all high tech and very much the same, but this, this was beautiful and ornate, like nothing you had seen before. You walked into Maz's and noticed she was talking to two men and a woman, and you thought you'd leave her to it, it looked too serious for your liking. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure young lady?" Jimmy said as you walked to his usual spot, he was surrounded by his usual troublesome bunch all different species, which you had all previously met on other planets. 

"Thought we could play Sabacc," you raised an eyebrow.

To which the table roared with mischief, "didn't I teach you last time, people don't beat me at Sabacc!"

"When do we start?" you hummed plopping down next to Jimmy and gathering the cards. 

~~~

"Fuck - you dirty cheat!" you shouted bringing Jimmy's howling laughter to a halt.

"Keep talking like that girl and you'll get a smack," he spluttered laying down the cards he'd used to win the game for the second time in a row.

"Ugh, you ain't my dad," you stuck your tongue out and huffed leaning back into your chair so forcefully, you went crashing to the ground, "don't say it" you grumbled standing and dusting yourself off.

"Karma," Jimmy said breaking out into another fit of laughter, so loud you hadn't heard the first crash of many to come.

It wasn't until the music stopped and the place went silent before you heard the third crumbling crash, everyone shared frightened glances, until finally the silence was broken by screams as the roof came crumbing on top of four, five, six people you couldn't tell, the place was a blur, people rushing to the door as more rocks crumbled on top of bodies. 

Your body had already sprang into action lugging your bag onto your back and practically launching Jimmy off his chair, his face was pure shock horror and it was enough to make you sick to the stomach, you couldn't let him die, not today, not ever.

You pulled the now seemingly fragile old man to the door, the place mainly empty of living people, as the sounds of gun fire and screaming blared around you like white noise. Your vision was a haze of blurred colours and lines, like you'd had one too many to drink. 

You took one last leap of faith to the crumbling doorway pulling Jimmy whilst still trying to hold him upright, it was so close, you could smell the forest air, the smell of metallic ships and blaster fire. But it was too late, one rock too late, as it crushed Jimmy's leg into place and you was left in a mass of rubble right at the side of a battle, only a few stone bricks serving as cover. 

...

You were screwed. 

 


	2. Block Him

Go it's fine, please, just get to the shed, you'll be safe there," you pleaded eyes welling with tears your shoulder stinging so badly, never had you felt pain quite like what you was sporting now.

"No I can't leave you," Jimmy cried his face stern but you knew he was scared, he wanted to run.

"Jim, I won't lose anyone else, for fuck sake go, I will be fine, you can't fight, you can barely stand!" you shouted over the circling resistance planes.

"Bu-"

"GO! I'll cover you!" you shouted firing the gun at a storm trooper who was in the way of Jimmy's escape, "NOW!" you screamed this time as the old man grabbed the shoulder of his friend and started to hobble towards the forest.

~~~

"Jimmy!" you shouted at the man who had fallen to a fat heap on the floor. Whaling in pain as he tried to free his leg. One of his friends, you'd forgotten his name, was already lugging the rock off his leg. You threw your bag against the rock coverage and found your blaster pistol, it was your most favourite weapon, custom bought and stunning.

You looked over the cover to see all out war, a swarm of white soldiers and strangely in the centre the two men you had seen talking to Maz earlier, gods you hoped she was okay.

This was the closest you'd ever been to The First Order and you didn't want to get any closer. You aimed your pistol at an unsuspecting stormtrooper and they fell to the ground, man were they dumb.

Jimmy snapped you out of his daze as he fell to the side of you back up against the rubble his body entirely in cover. His eyes were shut and you could tell he was doing his best to breathe through the pain. His friend eyed him up, a huge man - shoulders that seemed wider than most doors from where you sat - he seemed kind who else would wait for a done for old man while a First Order battle went on around him?

"Take him to his old shed, you know it?" you said to the man, he nodded almost as though he didn't speak English.

"No," Jimmy mumbled, "I'm done for, leave me!"

"By heck am I leaving thee old man, you need to collect number thirty-two!" you smiled looking down at him with reassurance.

"No, girl, go I have lived my life," he wheezed but you weren't taking the sad bullshit old man story likely. Your ripped the ends of both sleeves and made a tourniquet for his leg that didn't seem broken but was soaked in blood, at least that would slow the bleeding and then at the shed there'd be more to work with.

"Gramps I hate to break it to you, but we are surrounded, I ain't going anywhere either." you said as you shot a few more lingering troopers.

You wanted to cry, curl up in a ball and cry, if they caught you, if Kylo was here....well it didn't bare thinking about the lengths they'd go to get you on their side. But you were the only one with a gun and so your brain leaped into action, shooting all the enclosing troopers, most hits were successful but there were a few you mentally cursed yourself over.

Large Guy, as you had aptly named him had come and sat against the wall with Jim, you expected he would just batter any troopers that got close enough with his huge gorilla fists. Of course you didn't have much cover now, but it didn't matter much to get a good aim you had to stand and shoot in intervals.

For one particular shot you had your back to a Trooper and before Large Guy had chance to warn you, he'd shot you in the shoulder, blistering pain coursing through your veins as though you were still on fire. But you didn't flinch the adrenaline pumping through you like a galloping horse, you'd punch the next person who got close enough so hard the'd revert to their childhood self. You spun on your heal and shot the Trooper who'd give you a nasty scar one day and shot him three or four times you'd lost count the son of a bitch had fucked your shoulder blade up bad.

Your pain finally caught up with you and you fell behind the cover, a sea of white helmets growing closer to you, but you'd lost all attachment to reality, your head pounding your vision gone, you couldn't even hear the war around you.

Blackness and silence.

...

"WAKE UP, ____ THEY'RE HERE, THE RESISTANCE ARE HERE," was what broke your paralyzed mind out of its mild strop, you shook the haze away and noticed Large Guy and Jim were in front of you, more gun fire could be heard now, but also planes lots of planes and then it dawned on you, what Large Guy had said, the good guys were fighting back.

 _Wait why are they fighting...?_ You forgot that thought for the moment, it didn't matter too much.

~~~

"GO! I'll cover you!" you shouted firing the gun at a Storm Trooper who was in the way of Jimmy's escape, "NOW!" you screamed this time as the old man grabbed the shoulder of his friend and started to hobble towards the forest.

Once they were gone you could focus on recovering, your eyes wandered the battle field in search of clues as to why everyone was fighting. To your amazement you hadn't noticed it before, but you could see it clearly now, something very grand looking among the simple TIE fighters, it looked remarkably like a command shuttle and right on queue who should stroll right past you.

Kylo Ren.

You froze blocking your thoughts, because now all that was running through your head was the force and not the good side. His presence was intense, like someone had thrown a tonne of bricks over your head. You held you breath, like that would help, Kylo Ren could have what he wanted and you weren't doing a very good job of seeming innocent.

_Fields,flowers, grass, birds, trees, water...erm...rivers, lakes, pebbles,dirt..._

"Why are you doing that," Kylo's mechanical voice spoke, you'd never heard it before, heck you only knew his name because he was high up in the First Order.

"I am not doing anything," you fumbled trying to keep visuals on all the things you had previously being chuntering in your mind.

_Meadows,cats, wildlife, dogs, animals, monkey..._

"Stop that," it wasn't so much a shout, but you really wanted to obey him.

_Trees,shed, Jimmy J, that that that Large Guy, wounds, healing scars,scabs...WAIT HOW THE FUCK CAN HE HEAR WHAT I AM THINKING!_

You couldn't see Ren's features nor could you even guess what he would look like under there but you knew in that moment he was smirking at you.

"Commander Ren, sir, shouldn't we get the girl aboard?" a Trooper said in the distance, at which point you noticed the woman lying limp in his arms.

Kylo examined you for a second, as though he was sticking a mental GPS on you, you kept up your mantra and blocked him out with everything you could think up. It wasn't long before you realised you had been closing your eyes for a while and the next time you opened them, a woman stood in front of you, a woman you knew quite obviously as Princess Leia.


	3. The Resistance

"Leia, I don't want to go and train with these people, you know how capable I am with defending myself," you huffed.

Your life had gone to shit on that stupid planet, not only were you dragged into The Resistance's playing fields but now you had to train to be a better force user. Turns out that Leia had a few more apprentices up her sleeve and you had to follow them round for a few days, bunch of twelve year old amateurs, why would you need to be trained? You'd taught the ways of the Force to yourself you were pretty sure you didn't need to be babied. You think she was just trying to do you good because she'd messed up pretty badly with her own son, wasn't much chance of getting him back now, and with Solo, dead, she was quite beaten.

Starkiller base had been destroyed however, but a small insignificance to the ways Leia would have to suffer. You did feel sorry for her, in some ways, perhaps that is why you hadn't left when she had convinced you to join her side. As for the reason she knew you used the force, well that was Maz's fault, apparently she had known for some time which only made you even more careful to block it at all costs. Maz had told Leia and Leia had somewhat recruited you.

Somewhat.

You'd leave when you were ready, with enough time you'd have finished your saber and could go forth and not give a damn about the sides again. Life would be good once more.

"You are not going to defend yourself ____ you are going because you need to find peace, you're too stressed, to truly understand the side of the light, you must become one with yourself."

"Right..." you said noticing Leia was actually being deadly serious, "sorry yes of course. Just don't expect me to babysit."

"You will not travel alone, I have constructed a team to join you," Leia smiled sweetly, it was sickening you could barely stand another second with this woman. My god you wished Kylo had taken you on his ship that day and showed you the ways of the dark side, at least then you might have had some fun.

~~~

It was the third day of your hike and you had finally settled down to camp, you didn't really like the three other boys that used the Force, they were like well trained puppies, the representation of boredom itself.

You'd decided to eat in your tent tonight, you were shattered from all the walking you had been doing and you weren't fond of the other leaders any way. You tried really hard to remind yourself why you had been doing this again, but you came up with nothing. You'd not gotten better at using the Force, you hadn't made any friends, you hadn't been saved. No, the conclusion you came to was merely the fact that The Resistance had the materials to build a saber and also had the wits to keep you safe from the dark side.

Safe being a relative term.

After many arguments over your departure date in your head you found yourself drifting to sleep, the weightlessness of your body in that moment, felt amazing.

~~~

You woke up in a shock, you didn't know why but you felt as though you were missing something obvious. You checked your clock, you'd been asleep a few hours, the rest of camp was surely asleep by now, you thought it wouldn't hurt to go for an evening stroll.

Once you'd left your tent an overwhelming sadness washed over you. You couldn't put your finger on it yet, but you would get there, it was late and you'd only just woken up. You walked back to the centre of camp having pitched your tent with the door facing away from it, which made you realise you hadn't really been all that friendly during the whole trip. Not like it mattered now, you'd decided that after this trip, you were leaving The Resistance for good.

You finally made it within site of camp and who should be stood there, but Kylo Ren.

"You?" he said his voice covered once more by the sound of his helmet, it was creepy.

"What have you done?" was all you could manage before he spoke again, you looked around the camp, it was destroyed, everywhere scorch marks from no doubt Kylo's lightsaber. Where were the others, had he killed them, scared them off, taken them.

"I was just about to leave actually, didn't notice you were here, perhaps you've gotten better at blocking your thoughts?" he smirked you could tell, you didn't like the way he regarded you, you felt like his prey.

"I have no need to block them, I have nothing to hide" you lied, did he already know, was there any point in hiding the truth.

"In that case-" Kylo said reaching out his hand and force dragging you so you were directly in front of him. The whole thing happened so fast you didn't even have time to be in pain.

"-I shall just kill you also-"

Upon realising he had killed them you immediately counteracted, "you could have used them".

"They all practised the ways of the Force," he said for you, "they weren't strong enough, besides I needed to let off a little steam, what with The Resistance ruining Starkiller and such."

"And Rey nearly killing yo-" you cut yourself short, the man in front of you, powerful as he may be, you wanted to give him a piece of your capabilities, "get it over with then, or are you all out of steam?"

"I don't like the way you talk to me, it's almost as if you aren't scared of what I could do to you if I so wished."

"Well either kill me or get fucking used to it you-"

"If you continue with your profanities anymore, I will silence that filthy mouth of yours and you won't like how I do it either," he said and the threat got your heart racing, although it wasn't his intention there was something almost exciting about the unknown.

You refused to say anything, you didn't have anything nice to say and nor did you feel the need to apologise, so staying quiet was your best option.

He regarded you for a while, silence filling the air, you had tried not to look at him, but his Force signature was somewhat intoxicating.

"You have gotten very good at blocking me, it's slightly curious."

"Hmpf...well if slightly curious is what's keeping me alive I'd much prefer to spend my time away from a bunch of dead bodies I can't even see."

_I didn't even know their names, did he kill them all, he couldn't have, is he saying it to scare me._

"It's okay they didn't know yours either" he said beginning to pace in front of you.

"Fucking leave my head alone and stop following me," you snapped.

"I didn't, you just so happened to be here. I guess after I left, The Resistance convinced you to fight with them and take children on field trips?"

"Very funny, but no. I owe nothing to them, I don't care to take sides."

"You should think about it, you'd look much better on the dark side," Kylo said. You could tell he was getting annoyed with your trivia, when he stopped dead in his tracks and faced you head on once more.

Or robot head on...or, it dawned on you then: _he might not even_ be _human_ , _what if he was a Force droid_. _No don't be stupid _____.

"I could come-" you said shaking yourself and hopefully Kylo out of your thoughts, but before you could finish the sentence you were knocked to the ground as he used the Force to rip your mind to shreds.

"Don't resist me, what are you hiding?" Kylo seethed as he forcefully broke down every wall you tried to build to keep in your secrets. He was good, almost too good but you still had some fight left in you.

You heard him ignite his lightsaber and the dirt around you shone an eerie red, like you was surrounded by a pool of blood. The plasma blade was brought right to your throat and you could feel its burning before it had even touched your neck, like someone had lit a dozen matches under your chin.

You would lose it soon, you were really struggling to hold him out and now with the added heat you practically wanted to give up.

_No, light, dark, day, night, sun, moon, sea, sky..._

"Stop!" Kylo screamed he seemed out of breath but you couldn't quite tell all you knew was your tactics had worked, "wish granted."

"Huh-"

"You're not going to die today," Kylo said retracting his saber and lifting you up with him, "I'll get what you're keeping from me, even if you become my play thing when I need to let off steam."

"Please, no, I can't" you wanted to cry, why, why had you followed The Resistance, none of this stupid thing would have happened.

"Oh look at that you do have manners," Kylo hissed as he dragged you to - you assumed - his command shuttle. He was quite a lot taller than you remembered and slim...

"You're a fucking piece of shit..." you squirmed desperately wanting to use the Force on him.

"I warned you.." and with that you were on his shuttle, the doors raising behind you, no escape now you'd just earned yourself life long torture or a solid position in the First Order.

Oh no you wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I really hope you are enjoying this fic so far. I am not so keen of this chapter, but it will get better! Mwhahahaha, expect some smut in Chapter 3!


	4. The First Order

"I suggest you come and sit up here," Kylo said as he started the engine, you contemplated why you were still sat on the floor back pressed against the durasteel door.

You just sat silently for a while longer, thinking about what you had gotten yourself into. Kylo began to lift the shuttle off the ground and pick up speed, it wasn't long before you realised you were probably high above the trees.

"I suggest you fuck off, I'm not-" you said all of a sudden anger taking over.

Kylo threw the ship off to the side with a strong and fast jolt to the right and you hurtled into the control panels that were scattered along the right side of it. He was really testing you now, you'd have to use the Force on him soon, give him a taste of what he had been dishing out, but for now you'd just silently sit next to the prick in the seat up front.

He regarded you for a second, you didn't even know where he was looking at you, it made you feel vulnerable for sure, you strapped yourself in this time in case he decided to pull the same trick and you'd end up right on top of him...you blushed.

"How do you do that?" Kylo asked the vocoder made him seem constantly serious.

"Do what?" you huffed through gritted teeth.

"I can usually read most primary thoughts," Kylo spoke and you rolled your eyes he was so annoying, but you couldn't work out what was worse, him or Leia, "but yours are less easy to read, it's almost as though you're deciding what I can see."

"Yes well I am, so get over it." you said as bluntly as you could.

The movement on the ship came to a halt and you were glad of the seat belt, "I don't think you understand your position so let me elaborate. I will get what you are hiding from me one way or another and I will not go easy on you in doing so. Which is why I suggest you chose very carefully the way you talk to me, as I do not take likely to your incompetent retorts."

Half of you wanted to laugh in his face and then say _okay then oh mighty god Kylo_ and the other half wanted to do as you were told and just leave him be.

"Of course Commander Ren," you managed in the most sarcastic tone possible.

You watched him as he balled his fists and then released them over and over, man was he easy to wind up, he'd have killed you by now if he wanted to, maybe if you annoyed him enough he'd drop you off at the nearest planet. Ha, if only.

You knew he was trying to read your thoughts, you felt his force signature all around you and you knew he was powerful enough to break down your walls eventually, but you could buy yourself a little time until then, maybe get a job in The First Order.

He started the shuttle again without another word and you'd sat in silence the rest of the way to wherever it was you were going. Since Starkiller was destroyed you weren't exactly too sure of where he might be taking you.

~~~

"Commander, may I ask where you have been sulking this time, Snoke has requested your presence" a straight smart OCD kind of guy spoke to the commander as he left the ship, you'd been told to gather your belongings-which really only consisted of your backpack-and stay aboard the shuttle until you were asked upon.

"You may, but I wouldn't care to answer you." Kylo said bluntly, you sensed some kind of sibling like rivalry, you could feel the tension, "I will go to him immediately. In the mean time please will you deal with-"

You walked up to the door of the shuttle and stayed well away from either of them, especially Kylo, now in the white light of the ship you'd docked onto he seemed so much more intimidating, far more than you had remembered was his little talk getting to you?

"So you're not only going away to sulk, but now you've brought a stray?" the other guy spoke as you surveyed them both.

"Who are you calling a stray? Why the fuck would the commander bring back a stray?" okay this new guy was by far the most annoying, that was decided.

Kylo must have found these comments not to his liking, because you found yourself falling to the floor as he pushed wave upon wave of pain through your aching skull, it was agonising, worse than the time his storm trooper had shot you, if he carried on you were afraid you'd go brain dead.

"I'll deal with her-" was all you heard and it had come from the other guy. Great why didn't you keep your stupid mouth shut.

With those words the pain stopped and you opened your eyes to see Kylo stride away, you weren't sure what had been said before the I'll deal with her, but you were sure it must have been an explanation of why you'd been picked up.

"You're aboard the Finalizer now girl and you're under my command, use such profanities while speaking to me again and I will have you terminated."

"Yes sir," you said in all seriousness, the guy seemed more scary to you than Kylo, like his threat wasn't as empty.

"General" he stated and you nodded to show you'd understood, "follow me."

 _Terminated?_ At least he couldn't hear your thoughts, it was nice, you felt like you could breathe again.

"Where are you taking me?" you asked as you followed the man through people and controls and metal lots and lots of metal.

"Do you expect me to trust you to work alongside my army?" The General stated plainly, not once stopping or slowing his pace.

"I...didn't think-"

He cut you off "try harder then."

"Sorry General." You said, wait why were you apologising?

"Hmm, obedient little stray aren't you?" the General said and you found yourself blushing wildly, you weren't sexually attracted to the ginger haired idiot so why were you blushing.

_Oh god now every one is staring.  
_

You came to a stop but only because you'd bumped into the General as he had stopped to talk to someone, a small woman, about your age with long brown hair scraped back onto her head in a high ponytail. Upon your collision her eyes widened, as though she was waiting for you to be torn in two by the General but he didn't acknowledge it only straightened himself out afterwards.

"Get on with it please, I have a very busy schedule to uphold."

"General Hux, sir, I was asked to report to you by my superior office, we have an emergency on the bridge-"

Hux raised a hand and the girl refrained from speaking and then he was off again darting through every where until you reached the bridge.

"Stay here," he said as he wandered over to the main controls where several people had gathered all standing at attention when he arrived.

_I wonder where Kylo is? Who is Snoke?_

Questions which your saved for later, you wished you'd been invited over to the chaos you were good with ships, you'd worked on so many different makes and models, you'd originally trained to be an engineer but the thing was, you didn't work well with people, that's how you came to lose your first job. But perhaps if you stopped the worry, Hux would let you work on the ship and be less of a play thing.

"Where is the chief engineer?" Hux commanded as soon as he had gotten to the controls.

"We can not contact him sir, he seems to have-"

"How can you tell me we have lost our senior engineer? Why is he not at his post?" Hux seethed through gritted teeth.

Well this truly did look like a disaster, The First Order had really gone down hill since the set back on Starkiller, it was almost pitiful.

"It's the cooling systems sir, they are failing on-"

"General Hux sir, perhaps I could be of assistance," everyone turned and faced your little outburst.

"It's not failing," you said turning to the woman who had started the sentence, "some idiot has re-routed the power back to the reactor and it's over-heating. It's a simple mistake, if the engineer had been present they'd have know that," you looked at the controls and spotted the correct ones you needed, "excuse me" you moved past the man in your way and keyed in the code to allow the systems to reboot themselves, "there," you pressed enter and watched as the blaring red warning lights stopped and returned the room to a welcoming bright white.

"General-I came as quickly as I was told, I am usually here to reboot the system, I have automatically programmed it to re-route the power every month, it's in aid-of making sure the warning systems work-" the-you assumed-engineer entered very much out of breath.

"My office. Now." Hux stated at the engineer, as you just stood awkwardly to the side, "you wait here, I'll deal with you later."

"Yes General Hux, sir" you smirked eyeing the incompetent engineer up who had turned a deadly shade of white. Hux walked off the man in tow, everyone returned to their normal duties and you just stood there awkwardly in the middle wondering what the actual fuck had just happened.

~~~

You think perhaps an hour had passed before Hux called you into his office, the engineer was no where to be seen and you were pretty sure he hadn't come out. Had he been terminated?

You walked to the door, Hux having already gone back inside, you were shaking but not because you were scared, more because you knew Kylo was close now and his presence was everywhere, him just being there gave you a mild headache. God knows what they were going to do with you, you weren't exactly a guest and you weren't exactly working material-or maybe you were now you'd stopped their stupid ship from exploding-well not quite.

You walked in, shut the door behind you and walked to the front of his desk and as you had guessed Kylo was stood to the side of Hux's desk, where the General was sitting.

"I am going to give you two options," Hux started plainly.

"Yes General," okay so you'd only been so obedient to wind Kylo up, which it did you could feel it course through the air.

"You can tell us what you're really hiding, or Commander Ren will take it from you." he finished and folded his arms leaning over his desk.

"I am not so sure the Commander would be able to General Hux, sir," you said chewing the inside of you cheek, feeling the tension from Kylo who was stood in the corner trying to read your thoughts as you spoke.

"Then tell me, what you're really hiding." Hux said through gritted teeth, knowing exactly what you were doing and almost liking you for doing so. Almost.

_Kylo, will you stop that, it's distracting me from answering the General._

"Commander!" he shouted through the mask as he used the force to pin you against the wall. You think you saw Hux roll his eyes but you couldn't be sure, the fast motion was blinding and now you had Kylo breathing down your neck, stuck helplessly to the wall.

"Alright enough, Ren take her and get the information we seek," Hux said standing and looking at you with his piercing green eyes.

_You won't get it Commander, might as well tell your General now..._

That was the last thing you thought before a aching blackness poured over you like hot tar, sticking to every part of your body and moulding it in place. You felt like a statue, like you'd be glued to the spot, your senses escaped you. You weren't scared of what Kylo had just done to make you feel this way, oh no, you were scared of what he would do when you finally woke up. This time being the cocky shit you were had gotten you into more trouble than you had ever encountered and you'd encountered a lot.

Time to keep your mouth shut and your thoughts: for that matter.

 


	5. Time To Talk

You woke from your unwilling sleep and looked around, no one was there for the moment. You looked down and noticed you were in some sort of metal contraption that held your limbs in place with clamps, certainly not the comfiest place you'd awoken in.

The room was small and looked mainly like the rest of the ship, durasteel walls, buttons and controls, vents and more durasteel. It was pretty dull, but while ever it was lacking Kylo Ren you didn't mind too much.

You wondered where your backpack was, you made the mistake of bringing your almost complete saber along for the ride, how was you to know you'd bump into Kylo Ren and be dragged into The First Order.

"No one is to enter this room, other than me, do you understand?" speak of the devil.

"Yes Commander," you assumed a Storm Trooper responded.

"Awake now are we?"

_Nothing._

"Not talking. Going to keep that filthy mouth of yours shut?" 

 _Nothing_.

"Good choice, although if you really want to impress the General you ought to keep it up, I hear he is into being the submissive one."

_N-nothing._

"I do not wish to impress the General" 

No, if you were going to pick, you'd prefer Kylo, there was something about him that enraptured you, consuming you and made you want to become part of The First Order, if you were allowed to explore his quarters...

He dismissed you and spoke "while you were asleep, your mind was open for me to find out all kinds of things."

_Shit._

"and you were practically screaming don't go through it."

_The backpack._

"Commander Ren, I am begging you, let me explain."

"So now you're begging me?"

 _Nothing_.

"Start explaining then." 

"I stole it."

"It?" and then he revealed it your saber, very almost completed but beautiful nonetheless.

Kylo lifted his hand up to you, without taking his eyes of the contraption in his hands, pain enveloped you once more, but more intense than ever, it was exhausting and you couldn't hold onto nothing much longer, "People don't just come by lightsabers, so let's just imagine that you could use the Force what would you do, if I did this?"

Then as if the pressure on your mind wasn't enough he began to Force choke you too, it took your every strength not to use it yourself.

"No, nothing? And what if I was to..." now he was igniting his own saber and walking towards you, the weight on your mind easing with his steps, but coming back as quickly once he'd finally closed the distance between you. He twisted the saber a few times before he brought it to your neck and finally stopped Force choking you so you could suck in air like there was a shortage of it.

"Please," was all you could say, tears streaming down your face from the pressure if nothing else, sweat overcoming you the closer he got with the plasma blade. 

"So sure of yourself and now look at you begging for your Commander to stop." 

"You are not my Commander," you spat despite your situation which only made him start burning your neck with the blade.

You think you were screaming in pain, but everything was fading, how he hadn't made you use the Force yet was scaring you. You weren't that strong, you should give it to him, give him everything, let him see. Stop the pain.

"I stole it! Kylo I swear, it isn't mine, the-" you said between your screams.

"I will make you tell me the truth." He stated plainly retracting the burning red blade and stopping the stinging. He stopped rummaging through your brain and unclasped the restraints so you were free.

Your body was limp, without the metal holding you in place you found yourself falling to your knees, the sight of him from this angle was sending your heart racing, why did you want him so badly, he couldn't use the Force to do such things. Why did you have such an ache to take off all his clothes and see what he was hiding under there?

"But first, did I not say I'd teach you a lesson?" 

"C-commander..." was all you could stutter as you watched Kylo reach down to his cock, the bulge growing more and more evident by the second.

_Oh fuck!_

"There it is again, that filthy tongue of yours, I should very much like to shut you up."

"That isn't fair, you can't expect me to keep my thoughts clean too..." was all you managed as Kylo began to undress his cock, so only it was showing. 

The length of it took you by surprise, it was certainly the biggest you had seen and you thanked your lucky stars that it was most certainly human and not of the older generation. Seeing it like that in front of you, Kylo's gloved fingers sliding up and down it eliciting moans that were distorted by the vocoder, was enough to make you want to beg for his punishment.

For some reason you had forgotten the burning pain on your neck and your adrenaline kicked in, heart racing for a taste of him, why should he have all the fun.

"Your thoughts are poisonous, if you're going to enjoy your punishment so much, you won't learn from it."

"Fuck, stop reading my god damn thoughts you son of a bit-" you started before Kylo rammed his hard cock into your mouth, you immediately gagged in response but quickly relaxed your throat to accommodate his size, why had you become so needy all of a sudden.

You began to start a pace of sucking up and down his length, using your tongue along the bottom purely to tease him. You knew he wouldn't take this pace much longer and you'd only just started, you could have some fun to start with surely. You'd take his cock all the way in and all the way out over and over, and he'd started to show his appreciation of your skill as pre-cum leaked out of the slit. You quickly moved to the head and swirled your tongue around it looking up to him while doing so. By God's you wanted to see his face.

You think he'd have smirked at that thought, so to punish him further the next time you moved down his length you didn't take him all in, and slowed your rhythm to a punishing speed. His next moves were pretty clear as his hand grabbed your hair and began pulling you on and off his cock. When he grew tired of that pace he moved his own hips, jerking his length into your throat at a pace you could barely keep up with, your gargled moans stopped you from hearing his as he kept his pace up, not even wavering after hearing your pleas to stop. Tears seemed to stream down your face without permission and you struggled to watch as he came to his climax.

His thrusts became more sloppy and now you wanted him to cum, to taste him, to take him all.

"You better." was his last moan as his orgasm shuck through you both, cum gushing down your throat, you swallowed and proceeded to lick the rest from his head. 

A mix of pain and pleasure washed over you, you almost felt empowered by the fact you'd made the Commander of The First Order shove his needy cock into your mouth. 

"I think I might need to re-think my tactics," was all he said before he covered his still throbbing cock and began to walk out of the room, the locks clicking back into place behind him.

What had you just done?

"General," you said as Hux walked through the door, you must have been sat against the wall for an hour or so, deep in thought, the taste of Kylo still lingering on your tongue. You shot up and straightened yourself out. 

"Ren has informed me of his interrogation," was his first words as he entered.

You immediately turned red and gulped: hard.

"General Hux sir-" you managed before he cut you off.

"You've gone through enough trouble to get aboard this ship and with the engineer...dismissed of his duties, you have come at the right time." Hux gave a weak smile.

"Kylo-commander Ren said I was here purely to work as an engineer?" you stammered regretting asking the question. 

"Is that not what was discussed between the two of you?" Hux scowled 

"No General, sir, it was. I just didn't expect him to give me a job," you said as quickly as you could, your mind in all amounts of confusion. 

"What is your name?" he asked now you had cleared his doubts.

"____ sir, it's _____ ______" 

"I'll take you to your new quarters" 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys you'll have to excuse me in this chapter, I am very new to writing smut, but I enjoy reading it so I wanted to write it myself.  
> I will be going onto doing 1st Level degree later this year! I will also have work commitments too, like I normally do, so I will try and get this story done before the 6th of October when I go back! I am going to Orlando for 2 weeks with my family so in the evenings I will have no commitments and should be able to get this whole story finished!
> 
> Thanks, for reading! x


	6. A Friend?

 

After Hux showed you to your room all you had done was sulk. Kylo had taken your saber, he'd taken your decency, man he'd taken your thoughts and your easy life.

"You know what, fuck Kylo, I'm a damn good engineer, if he leaves me alone, I'll be good at it" you said changing your position on the bed for probably the 105th time that evening. 

The room was bright and somewhat welcoming, it was kind of like a shoe box but it was good that it was yours. You had a small single bed that was pushed up against one of the four walls and you had a chest of draws with an alarm clock on top. On the opposite side to the bed, there was an open doorway, which led to a small bathroom. A shower, toilet, sink, mirror the usual bathroom spiel. 

You unpacked the rest of the stuff you'd had in your bag. A spare change of clothes, a bunch of useless sentimental garbage and your blaster pistol. Not that you'd need it anymore. 

You'd had just about enough of your shoe box when you heard a knock at the door. 

"Please for the love of my sanity, don't let it be.." you swung the door open to see a woman stood there.

"Which one was it?" She snickered

You stared at her dumbfounded until she spoke up again.

"The commander or the general, Phasma?" She smiled pushing her hair back.

You smiled at her, "nevermind, can I help you?"

"Ah yes, where's my manners?" She outstretched her hand the one that wasn't holding a small box that you'd just this second noticed, "Names Lucia, yours?"

You grabbed her hand, "it's ____, want to come in?"

"Sure, thought I'd come meet you before tomorrow." she cooed as you shut the door behind her, "guess I'm like your boss or something."

"Oh-" 

"Whoa whoa don't sweat it, I have been your boss a matter of hours, well not just your boss. A boss."

"The other engineer?" You inquired.

"Hmm, I used to be his apprentice. Right nasty piece of work. Tried it on with me at least twice a day, I figure he'd screwed seventy percent of the female staff on Starkiller. Was working his way round on The Finalizer too, look how that worked out for him...should have been at his post. Good job you turned up eh?" 

"I mean, I guess."

She laughed slightly, "the General has a thing for you, you know?" 

"No-wha why?" 

"He wouldn't have given you this job if you hadn't impressed him, even a little." She said noticing you turn deadly quiet and pale.

"Anyway I've got your uniform, plus some other useful stuff," she handed you the box.

"Awesome, erm yeah thanks," you said taking it and mentally cursing.

"Hey don't worry, I got your back ___" she immediately picked a nickname for you and you assumed she'd keep using it from now on.

"Thanks-" 

"Just call me by my name for christ sake," she laughed and it eased your thoughts, "catch you in the morning, o-eight-hundred." 

"Sure, thanks Lucia," you said as she went for the door.

"Night," she said and with that left your Shoe Box and shut the door behind her.

_Okay so I guess I have a friend now, maybe this won't be too bad?_

After that you sulked for about another hour, before your thoughts subsided and let you drift off to sleep.

~~~

0750

It was itchy and you felt like you was going to a funeral but your uniform did make you look smart and at least you'd blend in now. You decided to arrive at ten too, you hadn't understood why you'd wanted to be so obedient, maybe the uniform you didn't really know.

"Eager Miss ____," a familiar voice came from behind you. 

"General Hux," you said straightening out and stopping your snooping around your work area, "only ten minutes early sir."

"Good girl, however I do hope it will become a regular habbit."

"Of course sir" you said bowing your head slightly and blushing like mad.

_Oh god why, I'm not even attractive. Why does it have to be the General?_

"Are you okay?" 

A throbbing agonising pain started to pound through your head and the General had clearly noticed. 

"Yes-" you winced rubbing your temples.

_Please no, no not him._

"Hux." Kylo boiled.

You looked up at him only once before your eyes found the floor again

"I should find Lucia," you looked between them both "General. Commander." 

"__, over here!" Lucia's voice rescued you from the awkward pair in front of you. 

You squeezed past them both and joined her, "thank god."

"What was that all about?" Lucia asked as you walked away.

"Oh god nothing," you lied.

"Goof girl?" Lucia scoffed

"You heard that?"

"Loud and clear"

"I tried not to," you laughed.

"I can't un-hear it," she chuckled.

"Thanks for rescuing me anyway," you smiled and looked at her.

She was tall, above average for a woman. She rocked her curvaceous figure and short brown hair. A large nose that was topped with a pair of reading glasses. She was pretty, but wore too much makeup, maybe if you got close enough eventually you'd tell her to dull it down a bit. 

"That's okay ___, right let me show you to your post. Thanks for being early by the way, suppose I have to at least act a little bit like your boss." She smiled passing you over a data pad, "this is yours it used to be mine but I've restored it to factor settings. Feel free to personalise it however you like, I'll add job lists on for you daily and also your hours. That aside, suppose I ought to show you around."

"That'd be great Lu," you'd picked her nickname and you assumed she like it as she beamed at you. 

"Don't suppose General Toss Pot or Commander Dick Head have given you such privileges?"

_No, unless you count being throat fucked or having saber burns a privilege._

"Ha no," was all you managed. You'd bandaged up your burn just to keep it clean and covered luckily your uniform did a good job at hiding it.

~~~

1700

"Come on let's go to the mess hall and get some food!" Lucia said grabbing her data pad and pots from the day. You followed her example and dropped your data pads off in the Shoe Box on the way past.

You put your pots on the washing pile and grabbed a plate, there wasn't much to choose from so you'd picked the safe option, maybe you'd be more brave in your choices the longer you stopped there. You and Lucia sat at a table that was empty for now.

"So well done of your first day, you're pretty smart." Lucia said stuffing some food into her mouth.

"Well thanks, to be honest I've enjoyed it. It's been nice to actually be useful and not-" you cut yourself short.

"Not?" Lucia said through a mouthful of food.

"Nevermind" you didn't want to tell her you was a common thief outside of The First Order, you gave her a weak smile.

She swallowed before replying, "I think we'll be needed on the Command shuttle in a few days, once Kylo gets back from wherever he's gone off to now." 

"He's gone?" You said a wave of relief washing over you like pure bliss.

"Yeah that's what Hux said, can't stand either of them, need to have a testosterone sedative!" 

"Hahahahahaha oh my god you've made my day, couldn't agree more Lu," you snickered taking a bite of your own food, "best erm keep your thoughts to yourself though."

"Yeah specially when the storm troopers are around, simple minded but loyal nonetheless." She clearly didn't quite get your meaning.

You sat quietly for a while, listening to the conversations around you, not making eye contact with anyone other than the food on your plate.

"So, how did you make it onto the Finalizer?" Lucia asked as she snapped you from your daze.

"I..." you swallowed the food in your mouth and then contemplated telling her the truth, "I was taken from The Resistance," at that moment in time you swear everything went quiet. If the ground didn't eat you up soon, you'd use the knife in your hand to stop your misery. 

"Do, you want to go somewhere, a little..." she leaned over her plate and whispered, even though the room had returned to normal volume, "private?"

You didn't say a word, the look in your eyes was enough for her to stand up and pull you by the arm away from your plates. You didn't even blink, between leaving the mess hall and entering your quarters.

"You can't be serious?" Lucia said as she slammed the door after you both, was she angry?

"I wasn't..." you said slumping onto your bed and pulling your knees up to your chest in embarrassment, "I wasn't with The Resistance either, it was a means to an end, then The First Order turns up and...." you were content with the fact that this was merely all little white lies and the story would still make sense,"just took me."

"Why the heck, would The First Order just up and take you-"

"THEY KNEW!" you cut her off a little louder than you had wanted, "ahem, sorry, they knew I was an engineer, and about my qualifications...and so they...took me." 

_That's right, dig the stupid hole you got yourself into._

"Oh, I see. Sorry, I didn't mean to seem as though I was angry, I just, I don't like The Resistance," Lucia said plopping down at the side of you.

You looked at her for the first time since you had entered the room and as soon as your eyes met hers you could tell she was about to cry, "Lu, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she sniffed holding the tears back, she used her sleeve to wipe one away that threatened to fall, "I am fine." 

"Okay then, you sure you don't want to talk about it?" you said feeling a little awkward.

"No. See you tomorrow," was all she said before she grabbed her data pad and walked out of the door, slamming it on her way.

"Okay then..." you mumbled to yourself. 

You shrugged off your uniform and underwear before walking over to your bathroom, you started the water on a cool setting and used the mirror to look at your wound. The bandages didn't come off with ease, you'd probably made the burn worst by covering it, but what did Kylo expect you to do? Walk round and show it off like a proud little whore? No, you wasn't thinking about that whole ordeal, you wasn't thinking about how his cock felt throbbing in your mouth or how his moans were rattling off the walls, or how his cum had tasted on your tongue. 

_NO._

"Shower, I am having a shower," was all you managed to say to the reflection in the mirror, but you knew you wouldn't be able to stop the ache between your thighs. 

~~~

You stopped the water and wrapped the towel round you a comforting warmth in comparison to the cold painful shower you'd just experienced. Your neck did feel a lot better by it though and you would let it have time to dry out more tonight, you didn't need to cover it in your own company. 

It dawned on you that you had no clean underwear or night clothes for that matter, no one mentioned a Finalizer maid service who cleaned your clothes or changed your sheets. Then you remembered the box Lucia had given you, you hadn't even looked at what else there had been under your uniform, perhaps Lucia had saved your butt, you were pretty sure spare undies was a 'useful thing'.

Much to your gratitude inside the box was some clean pants in your size and some bra's, which only disturbed you further, there was a night dress and a hair brush which you'd be very grateful of in the morning.  You pulled on some clean plants and wrapped your hair in the towel, you laid on your bed and after about ten minutes of silence your burn started to sting which broke you from your doze.

~~~

The sound of your alarm woke you up half an hour before you were needed at your post, you gathered your uniform, brushed your teeth and combed your hair before leaving the Shoe Box behind. You had your data pad clutched to your chest and your eyes partially shut still, that was the first sleep you'd had in a long time. 

You checked the time on your data pad: 07:55.

It was too early for your liking, you hurried your pace until you made it to the docking bay where you had agreed to meet Lucia the previous day at 0800.

After ten minutes had passed you thought you'd better check your messages. 

"Right," Lucia said as your eyes crept up to meet hers.

"Hey, are you feeling better today?" you managed, you wasn't really sure what had gotten into her.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, just having a moment. I was thinking last night, you probably want to know where the laundry room is and the med bay for that matter?" 

"Actually yeah you read my mind," you said smiling at her, hoping she'd return back to her normal self soon.

"Come on then," she said and you followed her lead.

 


	7. Thoughts and Feelings

It had started a few days ago, the constant whispering noises, the thoughts the feelings the incessant noise. 

Lucia had given you yesterday off and you were in the right mind to tell her you didn't feel any better today. Your Shoe Box was where you were safe, nobody's thoughts could annoy you in there, you don't even know why it had started, you'd never been strong enough to hear peoples thoughts before, had being around Kylo strengthened your Force capabilities?  

"Kylo isn't even here," you said to yourself burying your head under the pillow.  You heard a ping under the layers of fabric and gingerly moved to grab your data pad.

I know you aren't feeling great ___ but I really need your help today on the Command shuttle.

It was from Lucia, you gave a huge sigh, grabbed your uniform and walked to the bathroom.

~~~

"Lu, sorry about that, I know I am late and all," you started talking before you had even gotten to the woman and you hadn't bothered to look up either. 

Once you finally got to where she was stood you realised she was watching the Command shuttle dock into place aboard the Finalizer. 

"For fuck sake," was all you managed before you reached her side.

"Don't worry about it ___ and what's that for?" she said clearly referring to your profanities. 

"Oh," you cleared your throat, "nothing."

The shuttle's door unhinged and slowly descended to the ground, with an audible humming noise, several troopers were the first to leave the ship, one which you knew now to be Captain Phasma. 

"Captain," Lucia said, you wasn't sure if you were to follow suit but you just dismissed it as her having done enough to satisfy Phasma, as she stormed off. 

"Commander, sir," Lucia then said as Kylo's distinctive sound of boots on metal started to approach the top of the ramp.

**Oh god, he's so, so powerful. I bet he's amazing in bed, he'd be able to..**

Those were Lucia's thoughts and you almost threw up all over her, she...liked the Commander? Hmm you'd one up her, for sure.

 _Commander, back so soon? I was starting to enjoy the piece of mind,_ you raised an eyebrow after projecting those thoughts to him, wait was you actually fighting for his approval.

"Fuck" was all you managed as you squatted to the ground, you were sick of him doing that to you, it hurt bad. He was giving you that colossal headache he liked to force upon you.

**Huh, what's up with ____?**

"____ are you okay?" Lucia said helping you up, "I am sorry Commander Ren, Miss ____ hasn't been feeling herself of late."

"That's a shame," Kylo said, piercing you with his eyes you couldn't even see, "I assure you, she will be feeling herself again soon" and with that he stopped the raging headache he was giving you.

**What's that supposed to mean? Oh god, why is he so hot, I don't even know what he looks like, I'm so weird, oh god.**

_Shut the fuck up._ Was all you could think to yourself, you didn't mind Lucia, but Kylo was yours.

You cringed at that thought, he certainly wasn't yours, just because you'd sucked his dick.

"Miss ____, with me." Kylo managed the vocoder making him sound polite. But then, "Now!" 

You moved away from Lucia and nodded to her, "I will be back soon, I am sure the Commander wants to discuss the logistics of his Command shuttle with me," you said sarcastically but smiled at Lucia all the same. 

**The lucky son of a bitch, what I wouldn't give to be ordered by the Commander into a private room...**

You blocked that one before it went any further, her thoughts were sicklier than you'd thought possible. 

~~~

"Miss me?" you said to him as he closed the door behind you.

This time you were in a conference kind of room, a table and chairs in the center with a great open window looking out to the vastness of space to your right. 

"Did I not say, that I needed to rethink my tactics?" he said as he walked past you and over to the window. 

 _Fuck, why is he so...why does he drive me crazy?_ It was there again, that ache that you'd had to relieve multiple times while he had been away.

You heard something different from the mask, it was like static, was Kylo, laughing?

You don't know how you'd managed it but you'd made it over to the window, looking out. It was beautiful. You'd seen it like this before, it wasn't your first time in space, but every time you saw it, the beauty of it, never changed. 

"I heard you," he said and you turned to face him. You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat and tried desperately to calm your blushing. 

"Do-" you said as you noticed him get closer to you, almost as close as you had been the last time you'd been in his company. Your heart was racing, you found yourself imaging his cock, craving to see it again, but inside you this time, him making you cum all over it. 

"Do you hear everyone's-" you near shouted to clear your thoughts.

"Yes. Only if I want to." 

"How do you block them if you don-" you started but Kylo was backing you against the glass, the cool surface a welcome embrace to your heated body, sweat trickling down your back as you tried desperately to keep your calm.

"How many times?" he said he placed his forearm on the glass above your head and you realised then how much you missed his presence, his Force signature, how it could envelope you, consume you.

"How many times, what?" you said as you stopped scanning his body, only to turn bright red again, he'd caught you staring and it was turning him on.

"How often do you wonder about me?" the words rolled off his tongue like poison to your ears. Warm, sticky, addictive, poison.

You didn't say much, but enough, for him to come even closer to your, the cold metal of his mask brushing your ear. As you let one moan escape your lips.

"Don't make me ask again," he said his voice barely a whisper, you wanted to shake so desperately, get the words out of your system, but your brain was holding onto them, replaying them in his voice. 

You wouldn't say, you wouldn't give in to him, did he really expect you to answer such a question?

You assumed the answer was yes, when he began to use the force to choke you slightly, not enough to cause you any pain, but just the right amount to cause you immense wanton pleasure. 

"Constantly!" you rasped and he stopped the pressure on your throat. 

There was that static noise again, but this time, being as close as he was you heard it, you heard him, his sinister chuckle, that only made you moan even more. 

He was tormenting you and he knew it.

He pushed his body against yours and you felt his desire for you against your stomach, his hard pulsing erection sending shivers down your spine.

"And yet I have only been gone three days," he pulled away from you and turned his back to you. Your legs buckled and you had to use all your energy to stay stood up, he didn't give you much time though before he began to use the Force on your clit. Such things you'd never even thought of trying before, a devilish way to use it. He was rubbing gentle circles against it, not turning around once, while you struggled to hold yourself against the glass, "you have been busy."

"Commander Ren," you managed a plea to explain yourself but he interrupted your little outburst by turning to face you once more. 

"Report to me at 1900 tomorrow and I am sure we can continue this conversation," he looked towards the door, "somewhere more. Private," and with that walked from the room, the Force not faltering on your clit until he had cleared the door way. 

You fell to the ground, a moan erupting from you-half pleasure, half pure frustration-before a wave of shudders rolled over your skin leaving goose bumps in their wake. 

"Oh great, what have I done?" you said to yourself before you found your balance and stood up once more.

~~~

"Hey," Lucia shouted you over as you stumbled into the docking bay, "so what did he want?" you regarded her face: buzzing with light for the gossip.

"Oh he wanted to know who I was and what I was doing near his Command shuttle..." you gave a fake exasperated sigh.

"Oh shit, yeah sorry, he didn't even know who you were," Lucia said, she'd seemed to have bought your lie, you'd worked on it the entire journey back to her.

"Don't worry, he only gave me a little bit of grief, stormed off to Hux's office, seemed like he was going to slice him in half for not informing him of a new engineer," you gave a fake chuckle to add to the effect and it seemed to have worked. 

"What did he mean by, feeling yourself again soon though? He seemed as though he knew you?" Lucia said growing doubtful. 

You looked around and noticed you were pretty much alone, you gestured for her to come closer, "You will not ask me about the occurrence I had with Commander Ren again," you waved your hand.

"I will not ask you about the occurrence you had with Commander Ren again," she muttered to herself before chirping up, "so shall we run the Command shuttle's diagnostics?"

You beamed at her, "yes, course," it felt amazing to use the Force again even if it was just for a split second to shut Lucia's questions up. 

You sure hoped Kylo hadn't sensed that.

 

 


	8. Hux too?

 

"Come on ___, tell me what's up, I can't help otherwise," Lucia said as she walked in on you shaking uncontrollably for the third time today.

You were cooped up in the shuttle, trying to separate a panel from the controls, you'd been meaning to fix the lose wire that was making the screens glitch on the checks you'd taken out that morning.

"Is it a guy?" She pushed, you really liked Lucia, yeah she had sexual fantasies about the commander but she wasn't the only one as you knew from just walking about The Finalizer over the past two days, but she was kind and considerate.

"What gave it away?" You mocked trying to dance away the constant shaking you faced.

"I've had boy troubles before, like I said, the past engineer for prime example," she smiled coming into the shuttle fully now and sitting down on the metal floor.

You did the same and backed up against the wall with her, "well yeah, he's asked me to meet him tonight, I don't know if it's going to be the...best idea."

"Wait just to clear up, it's not Toss Pot is it?" She chuckled elbowing you in the ribs.

You smiled at her, "no."

_Just the Commander the one with the Force the one that could whip out his lightsaber and kill me in an instant._

 "What's putting you off then?" Lucia said closing her eyes and leaning her head back.

"I almost feel like if I don't go, he'd make me..." 

"Well where's the fun in that? Wait that also sounds...are you being threatened?"

"No no its not like that. It's a mess. He's known me a matter of days, but I've already done things with him." 

"Oh dear, so he's more of a fuck buddy?" Lucia said bluntly 

"Eh, not quite. I do...I like him. I think..." you stumbled taken aback by her abruptness.

"I reckon you've just got nerves because you think if you go it might become more serious?" She questioned.

"More like if I go it won't become serious," you huffed.

"Then go, he won't hurt you,  the General wouldn't let his good girl get hurt now would he?" She laughed but you wasn't amused at her attempt to comfort you, "sorry bad joke, if he hurts you he'll have your boss to deal with."

You chuckled at the thought of Lucia going up against Kylo, she'd probably fawn over him and bow down to his every will. Somehow that sounded rather familiar?

"Okay maybe you're right, maybe I need to tell him that I don't want to be his play thing," you said regretting it afterwards. 

"Did he call you that?" she snapped upright opening her eyes.

"Oh no sorry it was the first thing that came to mind," you lied.

"Seems pretty weird thing to come to mind," she laughed "you are pretty weird though ___."

"Gee thanks for that Lu," you laughed feeling a lot more relaxed.

"Promise you'll tell me what happens though?" she said standing up and offering you a hand. You grabbed it and she pulled you upright. 

"Okay, that's if I go," you smiled working your way back over to the panel.

"Get going at-" Lucia started but was broken off by the sound of Hux clearing his throat.

"I had some free time, thought I ought to check and see how the two of you were getting on." 

"General sir," Lucia said standing to attention and saluting.

He paused looked at you to do the same, but you just smirked at him.

"Miss ____, your rudeness never ceases to irritate me," he said trying to hide the pain it was causing him to do so.

 **She's beautiful, no wonder Kylo brought her back.** Hux thought

 **Why isn't she saluting?** Lucia straight afterwards 

"What exactly did you want to check on General?" Lucia said to break the awkward staring contest you and Hux had been having.

"Mainly to check the Commander hadn't caused the ship or yourselves too much grief." 

"The ship is in fine working condition sir, Miss ____ and I have completed regular checks to make sure-"

"The systems are working as they should, have you had any trouble with the cooling systems since General?" you said taking over from Lucia. You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow.

"No we have not."

"That's because I have programmed it to do the checks without having to have a engineer reboot it. Lucia has fixed the internal wiring that had come loose during the Commanders trip and we both managed to help fix the TIE fighters that required inspection today-"

"-a total of eleven today General," Lucia added.

"So yes General Hux sir, I would say we are getting on very well," you looked up to him, your cockiness something you prided in the moment.

**They're both so suspicious, does she expect me to be impressed it's her job.**

"I do," you whispered under your breath.

"What was that sorry?"

"Nothing General sir, is there anything else which we can help you with?" 

"No, but Miss Geiger I would like to have a word with you, in my office," Hux said, you contemplated whether he was trying to make you jealous, but dismissed it as work related.

**Not this again...**

Lucia thought as she left with him.

_Not what again?_

~~~

_How does he expect me to find him? He didn't specify a place, just a time! And why am I even considering meeting him?_

You thought as you changed into your freshly washed clothes that you had come to The First Order in. You wasn't sure why you was making an effort to look nice either, would Kylo really be bothered that you'd put your hair in a side plait and changed out of your uniform, you doubted it. All he wanted was to make you so weak on the point of begging so he could make you tell him the truth about your powers. The truth you was pretty sure he knew anyways.

Sure you could try and follow his signature, but it was all around The Finalizer, did he expect you to go on a wild goose chase for him? No way!

"I will just go on a stroll, maybe I bump into him..." you said to yourself as you put your boots on, "oh jeez what am I even thinking?"

PING

Are you going to meet him then?

You looked at the blaring light on your data pad screen, it was Lucia. You didn't bother typing back, even if you knew the answer you didn't want her to be involved.

\---

You'd been wandering around for a good half an hour, you'd started to give up on the whole getting laid at 1900 idea, what were you thinking? You wasn't a slut, you needed to drop the whole thing and move on. Meeting Kylo wasn't even an option, no way.

_What if...he's really handsome...or good in bed? What if he doesn't want to have sex, maybe he wants to torture me more? Oh god._

You stopped still and turned around, you was going back to the Shoe Box final decision.

"Miss ____," came from behind you.

You turned back around and faced him, the one person in the whole Galaxy you didn't want to see right then, "General Hux sir."

"Lucia will be spending the day on the bridge tomorrow. So you're in charge of the daily checks."

"Okay sure, why do you need Lucia I thought she needed to teach me everything." 

**Why does she question me so much?**

"She is dealing with a private matter of mine and there is to be no more questions. Understood?"

"Sure thing..." you said awkwardly, _were they banging?_

"Now won't you be a good girl and run along?" Hux said raising an eyebrow.

You face turned red  with anger, "don't fucking call me that!" 

"Excuse me?" Hux said he'd almost turned to walk away when you'd let it out.

"I don't like being called that, it's highly inappropriate!"

_Oh yeah like I have any argument._

"I'll show you highly inappropriate," Hux grabbed you by the collar and pulled you into a near by alcove. 

_What the fuck does he think he's doing?_

His hands guided you to the wall and then his palms slammed against the metal at either side of you, "I have had a really bad day ____ if you want to test me then try it. I. Will. Win."

"You don't own me you know," you tried to push your way past but he pushed his body against yours and you were trapped.

"I am your General and I will say what I please to you!" his eyes boring into you, like he was shooting bullets through your skull.

"You'll regret it." You mumbled trying hard not to Force choke him to the floor.

He drew his lips to your ear, "what are you going to do hmm? You work for me! Do you understand that, because it sounds to me like you are struggling to grasp the concept"

You bit your cheek and looked to meet his gaze. 

_Play time._

"Stop undermining me and I won't talk back. If you wanted to fuck me then try but calling me a good girl will not get you in my knickers," you wanted to burst out laughing you think you really did have a death wish.

His next position was clear. His strong grasp was on your throat asphyxiating you slowly but surely. The burn made it worse it made it fiery. Like he was wringing your neck out with a carpet. The friction unbearable.  

"General please, I didn't mean to undermine your authority," you spluttered and he let go.

"Now was that all that bad? Such a good girl."

Did he really want to test you like that? You used to Force and your hands for cover to pin him to the wall, for all he knew you had super strength and then your hands were on his neck. Holding him in place but not strangling, "don't fucking call me that again!" 

**If she wasn't being so carnal right now I'd kill her.**

"Did Kylo tell you how much I love your profanities?" He said eyes a light with passion.

His lips were on yours in seconds, smothering you with the taste of peppermint his tongue trying to force it's way into your mouth, his hands grabbing your waist and holding you still. Your hands started to move  up the back of his neck instinctively but they stopped as your mind spun back to reality.

_He's human: at least that much is evident._

This wasn't what you wanted, where was Kylo, you wanted him. His lips.

Hux pulled away for breath "shall we go to my office, hmm kitten?" He said between pants, eyeing your figure. 

Was kitten worse than good girl you weren't sure, anything was worse in this situation.

"Hux...this isn't a good ide-" his lips cut you off again this time his tongue was in your mouth, you mellowed for a split second his somewhat gentle approach to kissing you almost changing your mind about who you wanted. 

But upon opening your eyes, "No," you said breaking the kiss and pinning him against the wall.

"You don't have to be afraid kitten, I won't hurt you," he cooed trying to reach out and grab your cheek in his palm.

"Hux, please...I can't," you fumbled as you etched backwards, "I have to....go." 

You stumbled over your own feet before you pelted forwards, narrowly missing a lingering trooper in the corridor. 

_FUCK SAKE ____ why did you do that...why did he do that...why!_

It was churning your stomach you felt like you'd betrayed him even though he wasn't yours. 

Eyes glued to floor tile after tile of metal blurring into one as your legs carried you towards The Shoe Box. Your legs burned, you had no idea which part of the ship you'd stormed off to, non of it looked familiar, your cheeks were red you knew it. You closed your eyes, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks. 

_I know I'll just make all the superior officers want to fuck me, who knows maybe I can even convince Phasma!_

Your pace slowed your tears no longer ready to escape, your breathe fast and deep. You caught it for a split second, the presence of Kylo and then you were against the wall, breath knocked from your chest. Your sight spiraling to focus, your legs hanging limp from your body needing no strength to keep you upright.

"You're late," were his only words as he walked slowly towards you.

Hot flush coloured your cheeks the shade of guilty as you urged your eyes to meet his mask.

"Commander I..." 

"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing...what...I am not doing anything.." 

"You're blocking me. Did you expect me not to hear your thoughts, throughout the whole escapade?"

Your eyes turned from sly guilt into shock horror as he released you from the wall, if you weren't already the shade of tomato, you sure would be now. Tears welling under your fingertips as you rubbed them out of your eyes. You wouldn't let him see you cry.

"I didn't want that, I didn't ask for it...it's not my fault!" you said, eyes fixed to the ground.


	9. Tell Him

He'd lead you to his quarters, the room much darker than the rest of the ship. His quarters were huge like the size of an apartment, there was a coffee table in the centre and sofa's either side. There were 3 door ways leading to other rooms but you couldn't see into those.

"Was he human enough for you?" Kylo scoffed as he turned to face you.

The blood drained from your face, you'd been projecting the entire time.

"I..."

"I thought you'd have known by now, that I am most certainly human."

"Not like I have seen your face though..." you mumbled.

"Well considering you've never even asked," he said, this time annoyance in his tone.

"Well in all fairness Commander I didn't expect to be fucked by you in the first day of meeting you," you seethed, the embarrassment had faded and all that was left was anger. Somehow you were blaming this whole thing on Kylo, if he hadn't brought you in the first place.

"Well in fairness ____ I didn't expect you to be so complicated!" he said, that was the first time he had used your name and it took you by surprise.

"That doesn't make sense! I have done nothing of complexity since I got here!"

"Tell that to Hux," he was pacing now hand twitching towards his saber by the second.

"What I do with my body is up to me!"

Kylo used the force to move you up to the door you had come through and then he walked towards you at speed, taking his saber out in one swift move and igniting it. He brought it to your neck that was still healing.

"You think I am complicated. Have you seen yourself?" you shouted.

"I think you know that you don't want to use that stunning body of yours on no one other than myself," he still had the saber against your throat.

_Just let him do it. I want this. I've done nothing but think about this for the past week._

There was the static from his mask again, he was laughing, you were sure you hadn't projected that thought but you doubted it now.

He retracted the saber and pushed you with his own hands against the wall.

"You know I might let you. But only if you're a good girl for me," you bit your lip in that moment so hard you think you'd made it bleed and your tongue darting out to run along the cut confirmed it.

"I'm not so weak as you think I am Kylo," you said eyes scrolling up his body, this time you noticed his muscles something you wished you could have seen without the black fabric.

"I know you're not."

"What do you mean you know I'm not?" You huffed struggling to move from his grasp.

"I mean I know you're not, but when you're ready to tell me the truth I might let you see me. Until then," he spun you around in one quick movement, pushing your chest against the door and then his lips were beside your ear, "I'm going to show you just how weak you are."

"Commander..." you moaned. You didn't mean to let it escape it was instinctual.

"Such a good girl using my title like I asked," he said pulling your arms behind you and moving you slowly through the door opposite you.

Once you were in the room, and the metal door was closed behind you both, he pushed you face first onto the bed, the soft sheets enveloping you with something resembling comfort, a thing you hadn't had much of since you'd arrived on The Finalizer.

You tried to push yourself onto all fours but he must have used The Force to bind your wrists behind your back, because although your arms wouldn't budge you could no longer feel his strong grasp behind you.

You were there for seconds, minutes you weren't sure time was in slow motion as you waited for him to make a move. Cold leather digits grasped the elasticated fabric on your hips, it wasn't there for much longer as he pulled your trousers down past your ankles, you must have also lost your shoes in the process. You felt the cold air prickle your legs and evoke goose bumps, you shuddered, suppressing a tiny moan into the sheets.

"I've barely even touched you," his voice echoed off the walls.

"Commander...please," you stuttered into the mattress.

"There you go again with the begging...so easy for me hmm?"

You grunted, "no!"

"No?" It wasn't a question as much as it was an expectation.

"Kylo please," you said.

"You'll have to do better than that," he scoffed.

"Commander Ren, I am begging you..." you looked up to him, he was dying to push you further make you suffer, make you regret every single word you'd say to him from now on.

"Begging me for what?"

"I am begging you to....um...to..."

"Yes pet?" he teased stroking his fingers up and down your thighs.

"I'm begging you to fuck me Commander..." you said sternly wanting to punch him for making you say that.

"No. You don't get that until you tell me what you're hiding," he said.

"Commander please I need it..." you gasped exasperated.

He pulled your pants down next and the rush of cold air sent shivers up your spine. He must have taken his gloves off at some point because his cold slender digit was teasing your dripping pussy moving up and down but not entering nor touching your clit.

"I suppose you have been good for me, you could have let Hux have you. He's been gagging for it since he met you." He said and without warning he thrust that digit into you.

You let out a slight moan before he drew it out again, leaving it hovering at your entrance, "hope this is only for me," he said referring to the wetness which coated his finger.

"Yes Kylo," you panted trying to wriggle down to him to gain some friction.

He started to use The Force on your clit while he moved in and out of you painfully slow.

"Fuck...I need it. You I need you!" You moaned in frustration.

"Well say the words and I'm yours," he cooed.

"No." You managed

"You'll come round,"he laughed.

_Who does he think he is?_

After that thought he was slipping another digit inside you and then another before his pace increased to one you'd never had the pleasure of experiencing before.

Moans were rolling from your tongue as the mix of three digits and the force on your clit was building you up to something you don't think you'd ever experience again without Kylo.

"Commander Ren...I swear I'm not..I'm not weak," you huffed through the moans. Your orgasm building the knot in your stomach threatening to break. His pace not faltering, not slowing, not once.

There was that static noise again and right before you were about to cum he stopped.

"Fuck Kylo!" You yelled writhing under his restraints.

"Don't you remember? You don't get me until you tell me what you're hiding," he pulled his fingers from you and you swear you heard him put them in his mouth, you couldn't be sure you were to scared to turn around and check.

"No."

"Stubborn aren't-"

You'd started to imagine sucking his cock, projecting it to him loudly.

"Fuck don't be so filthy," Kylo said before you heard him take out his cock and move his hand up and down its length at pace.

You whined, "this isn't fair."

"Then be a good girl and relax," Kylo said before inserting something cold and hard inside you. It was cylindrical with ridges and buttons. Had he put his saber in side you?

 You gingerly moved your lower body up and down over it moans rattling through you as The Force that hadn't stopped working on your clit got more intense.

"Fuck. You're so wanton aren't you? Fucking my saber while I make myself cum?" Kylo grunted and you heard his pace quicken on his cock. Which only spurred you on.

All too quickly the feeling of building euphoria was creeping it's way into the pit of your stomach. You were still projecting to him, not that you weren't giving him enough of a show like this. You were so close one more thrust and you knew you'd break.

Your final euphoric moans shattered the room and your orgasm shook through you. Waves of pleasure pulsing through your body. Kylo was moaning too now watching as your body twitched on his saber it taking all your strength to hold yourself off it. You pulled yourself from his saber and collapsed onto the bed The Force melting from you as you curled up hugging your knees to your chest.

Kylo grabbed his saber before he left the room recovering much too quickly for you.

~~~

He returned and you were dressed: did he expect you to stay, did you want to?

"Next time if I find out you're messing with the General I won't be so forgiving," Kylo said as monotonous as ever.

"Of course Commander," you said swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat.

"You can stay-" Kylo started

"I've left my uniform in my quarters, I need to head back now. Lucia is helping Hux tomorrow I'm managing the checks on my own.." you said before shifting to your feet and moving towards the door.

He spun around and grabbed your arm before you left, "I expect you to come clean sooner rather than later, I don't think I can keep myself from fucking you for much longer. But I will. Don't test me on that."

Before you let another moan escape your lips: you were gone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I am getting used to writing smut to say the least, so I am sorry if this isn't great. I just hope you liked it. I will from now on update weekly on a Wednesday. If you have gotten this far, thanks so much for reading, I look forward to hearing any comments! 
> 
> Thank x


	10. Avoid Them

Well you had done it, you had successfully made the entire week without speaking to Hux or Kylo and you hadn't bumped into them at any point either, in any sense of the word. You missed your saber, you missed adapting it and perfecting it. It was what you did in your pastime and it was a apart of who you were. You missed having the freedom to use The Force whenever you wanted and you missed everyday people not giving a damn if they did see you. You missed The Shed and Jimmy. You hadn't realised until now just how much it bugged you that you'd never really known Jimmy's real name and you feared you never would. 

If Hux found out about Kylo then you don't think he'd be very...forgiving. 

You were mostly grateful to the fact you had gotten the hang of hearing peoples thoughts, you'd been practicing blocking and you'd grasped the concept of projecting. Lucia was good at that, you'd noticed, she like to fantasize about her superior officers and it was driving you nuts. Man she could have Kylo or Hux for all you cared at least that way you'd have less hassle. 

On this particular night you were laid in bed, it must have been around three in the morning, you couldn't sleep so you'd been using The Force to move your alarm clock up and down. When you heard a timid knock at the door, you were reluctant to answer it at this time but it wasn't like you couldn't defend yourself. 

You rolled off the bed and stood up slowing moving the door forward and peering out, "Hello?"

"Oh, hi." you heard from somewhere out of your vision, you opened the door, more, to see a tall slender man with grey hair and glasses, he may have had grey hair but he looked to be about your age. 

"Can I help you, it is three in the morning...you know that right?" you said staring the weird looking guy up and down.

"Heard you're with the resistance?" he smirked, he lifted his thumb to his chest and mouthed, "me too."

Your eyes shot open and then squinted, "erm...not sure what you mean dude?"

"Eh I heard you over say something the other day with that other girl," he said trying to move into your room.

"Right." you said moving forward to block his path, "okay then, bye."

You were trying to shuffle your way back into the room when he grabbed you by the arm, "I am just fucking with you, I'm not resistance."

"Uh huh, so why is it you are outside my quarters at 3 in the morning?" you rolled your eyes fighting a sigh. 

 _Shit that's not...this isn't Kylo is it?_ You looked at his build, no he was too skinny for Kylo.

"Well I have been following you, these past days, noticed how pretty you are, thought I'd pass you a compliment-" 

"To reiterate...at three in the morning?" you interjected 

"You weren't asleep," he raised and eyebrow and licked his bottom lip.

"Okay, so you're really weird and I think I shall just kindly accept your compliment and *ahem* go back to bed," you shuffled into the room and watched him mock frown.

"See you around ____," he cooed as he too shuffled away.

"No you won't," you scoffed slamming the door. 

~~~

"He knew your name?" Lucia asked as you sat with her for some lunch.

"Yeah, he was weird man," you said taking a bite of your food. You had decided to eat at your station today, which meant sitting inside the Command shuttle, you'd not known that Kylo had been away again but that had probably been a good reason as to why you had managed to avoid him, as for Hux, well he was approaching you, fast, someone close behind him.

"Shit..Lucia, that's him.." you said pointing to Hux as he was approaching the ramp. 

"So this is where my girls have gotten to," Hux said as he made it to the top, "this is our newest Engineer."

"Yeah I have met the really pretty one right there," he said passing you a wink. Lucia started choking on something she'd taken a bite of, man you'd kill her later, "names Darius, guess I will be seeing you two later." 

"Between the hours of two and three in the morning," you scoffed under your breath and Lucia choked on her own spit this time.

"Great, lovely to meet you Darius. General, what a fine young specimen you've employed," you said sarcastically.

"Something wrong Miss ____?" Hux asked sincerely.

"Of course not," you mock smiled and they both left, you assumed to complete a tour of The Finalizer.

"Well shit," you said to Lucia who was about to release her laugh.

"Oh god, him? Him! Hahahaha, jesus ___ good luck. Oh also for the record, totally not Hux's girl." Lucia said taking a large swig of her coffee. She blushed which you only assumed was the fact that she wanted to be.

~~~

You'd gotten through the day, with no more Hux or Darius, was your life solely based on avoiding men, it sure felt like it. You were emptying your left over contents of your food into the bin and walking back to The Shoe Box, when from behind you someone linked their arm in yours, and you knew without looking it was Darius, even the smell of him was over powering, like the smell of cologne mixed with the need to insert his penis into something, namely you. 

"Dari-" you started before he interrupted. 

"No no, babe, call me D," he said and you stopped the pair of you abruptly.

"First things first. D. You need to let go of me. Second, I am not your babe. Third, if you don't leave me alone I am going to get a restraining order," you said angrily, _wait did The Finalizer even do those?_

"Ha, you don't have any idea do you?"

"Hmm?" you languished, rolling your eyes.

"I will own you," he said in a sinister tone, before releasing your arm and turning on his heel, "bye then," this time more cheery and he was gone.

"Fucking creep," you said as you started walking to your room again, your pace a little quicker than before.

~~~

"Morning Lu," you said as you walked almost like a zombie into the main control room. It was early around half five, Lucia had asked to meet you in the control room, you'd been asked to run a diagnostic on one of the terminals. 

"Hey ___," Lucia shouted from inside one of the panels under the controls.

"Saw Darius again last night, told me he would 'own me'," you scoffed crouching down to stick your own head under the controls, "eesh that's not good."

"No. Bet you any money this is from the last time Kylo had a  fit and flung his saber around like a ten year old with a toy sword," Lucia said struggling with a wire.

"Here let me help, you grab the wire cutters and I'll rewire it," you took her place as she walked out of the control room for the supplies. 

"What you doing babe?" Darius said as you turned around to face him, in doing so banging your head on the controls above you, hard.

"Darius, fuck off would you? That would be wonderful," you said noticing Lucia approaching with wire cutters. 

"Hey ___, you want to show Darius how to rewire the main controls," she said holding in a laugh as she passed you over the cutters.

"Sure why not," you said shuffling to the side to let Darius under the panels.

"Oh, it's dark in here, maybe we could kiss and no one would know," Darius cooed so only you and him could hear. 

"FYI, I have a boyfriend, so leave me alone? Kay?" you said demonstrating what to do with the wires.

"Aww, that's a shame babe," he said it louder this time before pulling you towards him viciously, his voice now barely a whisper, "I know who." 

_Shit, now does he mean Kylo or Hux, cus you know, don't really know what is worse right now._

You showed him the rewiring and Lucia agreed it was indeed safe and correct. You replaced the paneling and headed down to the office space, so you could grab your paper work. You'd managed to shake D and Lucia off for the majority of the day, as she had agreed to show him around your work space, much to his dismay. 

You didn't feel like eating today so decided to call it quits and go back to bed, sleep the horrifying images of Darius and him knowing about you and the superiors officer off your mind. 

You'd not been in there long when you heard a knock on your door, you was quite naked at the time, you were about to step in the shower. 

"I'm naked!" you shouted and regretted it immediately, "I mean...ugh! Two seconds," you quickly fumbled through the leg holes in your pants and pulled them up, wrapping the white towel around you. Quickly you opened the door.

"Shit, Commander, I thought it was..." you said turning bright red.

"You haven't been to see me," he said his voice as stark as ever.

"Yeah, I...about that. I don't have anything to say to you," you bit your lip and averted your gaze to the shiny tiles at your bare feet, somehow much more interesting in the circumstance.

"Don't be so recalcitrant and meet me in my quarters in 1 hour," he said.

"But-" 

"Don't you dare, if you do not show, you will be punished," he said and like a whirlpool of black fabric he was gone. 

You slammed the door.

_So much for avoiding._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am late updating today guys. I have had a busy day at work and didn't get chance to in the morning as usual. Hope you still enjoy though. Thanks for the support so far, I can't believe how quickly some of you guys left me comments, like wow it really means so much x


	11. I Hate You

"I hate you," you said as you entered Kylo's quarters.

He walked towards the doorway at speed and you backed yourself against the metal. He quickly grabbed what you assumed was his saber from his belt and ignited it.

But to your shock as you'd closed your eyes you noticed a purple glare instead of the usual red. You opened your eyes to see your saber in his hands it's blade the same as his it wasn't smooth like you'd seen Luke's was. No it was like Kylo's angry and menacing. You looked at it and then him and then it. Surprised to find he'd completed it for you. You not gotten it to ignite yet, you'd been struggling with that aspect for a while.

"I don't understand?" You looked to the floor wringing your hands feeling guilty for your welcoming comment.

"I've never seen this before, it seems new it wasn't even completed."He retracted the blade and held it in his hand, out to you.

"I stole it from one of the padawans," you lied as you gingerly reached for it.

"They are very skilled, I'd very much like to meet them," he said letting you take it from him with no resistance.

"Yes. Sure. That's if you didn't kill them when I met you," you scoffed.

"No, I can sense ability, none were powerful enough," he said quickly moving to the sofa in the room. He sat down legs slightly apart, hand gesturing you over, "sit."

"Yes Commander," you said still dumbfounded by the whole experience.

"I want you to practise using it."

You choked on the next breath you took, "you want me to what?"

"Perhaps not the way you used mine last though," he laughed.

You turned bright red, "I don't even know how to turn it on."

"You're lying," he said standing up now, balling his hands into fists.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, "why would I need to practice?"

"Because I really need someone to practice on, preferably someone with a little skill," he closed the gap between you and the closer he got the more you wanted to stand up.

"Are you crazy!? You'd kill me in one move. I'm not-" he ignited his saber it was inches from slicing your arm off your shoulder, but you'd already ignited yours unknowingly cutting his blade from its deadly path.

"Two moves," you counteracted. You'd be staring at his bicep, he was strong, you could tell. Then your eyes scanned his entire figure, you hadn't noticed until now but he was not in his usual attire. His robes were missing and his cowl, but he still wore his helmet, keeping strong to his word.

"Perhaps,"he drew back his saber and you followed his lead, "so practise!"

"What if someone sees me with it Commander?" you said standing up.

His strong arms drew around your waist as he dropped his saber onto the sofa where you had just been sat, "give yourself a little credit____, you're not really going to be waving it around The Finalizer are you?"

"Isn't that what you do to practise?" you chuckled blushing by the fact he was holding you, uncharacteristically gently, "I mean I have noticed a few glitches with the wiring at stuff-"

"You can be so insolent-"

"That's why you want to practise on me right?" you chuckled some more but Kylo seemed far from amused.

 **What I wouldn't give to fuck her,** that was Kylo, angry and bold. He was projecting it to you, and you prayed you didn't show any sign of hearing it. You almost gave up right then, pin him to the wall with The Force and fuck him yourself. But you refrained, gave him a curt nod, "okay I'll practice," and left.

~~~

"Why did he do that, he didn't have to do that? If he knows I use The Force, why am I hiding it from him? Think of the things I'd learn if he taught me!" You'd made it back to your room, pacing in front of your bed.

You ignited it.

"He's done it all wrong it shouldn't make that noise. It's kinda cool though, I think I like it. But it could be so much stronger if it was perfected by moi," you moved it close to your face the purple heat enveloping you and starting up a sweat.

"Still don't understand why he gave it me," you said twisting it skillfully in one hand. You'd practised with it many times. It was safer without the beam of purple light shooting out. Now it seemed more real, it's weight perfectly balanced in your grip. You didn't have much room to practice in The Shoe Box, maybe you could sneak it to the Command Shuttle one day after hours. Raise the ramp up. No one would think anything of it, you were sure.

~~~

"What do we have in store today?" You walked into yours and Lucia's usual meeting space, greeting her with a smile, "Lucia hello over here."

She turned and looked at you her face gaunt, afraid. Her frown melted into a welcoming thankfulness as you looked closer at her. A man appearing from behind a metal beam she was standing by.

It was Darius.

He twisted her wrist maliciously as he let go of it. You reached the side of her and he was gone, storming off in the direction of the bridge.

You studied her wrist it was red and you saw clearly where he'd dug his fingers in when he'd twisted. It was beginning to bleed and she stared blankly at you.

"It's fine," she said bluntly as she walked to the first aid box.

"No its not fine, what the fuck does he think he's doing?" You huffed dumbfounded.

"It was a misunderstanding, ___ please it's fine. I'm fine." She smiled at you. A smile that was far from reassuring, far from stopping your worried questioning.

"The heck you are. I'll fucki-"

"___ please it's just a few cuts. He didn't mean to. Now we need to get on with the diagnostic's," she took out three circular plasters and covered the three nail shaped welts.

You frantically searched, her face and then her thoughts for any information and the instant you did so, she crumbled to the floor.

"Lu you okay?"

"Man yeah I just had a killer headache it lasted like thirty seconds and then I went all light headed," she smiled this time more genuine but still weak.

"Don't go falling apart on me eh Lu?" You chuckled before helping her up.

"Well, on with today's shenanigans," she gestured to the bridge and you followed her there.

The entire journey to the bridge-which lasted five minutes-you were frantically searching Lucia's brain for clues. Sometimes she'd wince and you'd ease off but you got nothing from her. Why had she gotten so good at blocking all of a sudden? It was excruciatingly frustrating and you finally realised why Kylo hated you doing it so much.

"Ladies," Darius greeted, "I've worked over the checks for today, ____ why don't you make sure I've got it right."

"Ugh yes sure why not ass hole," you said gritting your teeth. Holding back your hand from slapping his pretty boy face.

You'd been wandering around the bridge for a while explaining all the necessary checks to Darius, he'd tried to grab your ass three times and now he was pushing his body against yours from behind.

"Don't fuck with Lucia again. I don't care what you said to her, or why you did that to her hand, but I swear to God if you do it again, you'll regret it." 

"Fine sheesh, it was an accident okay?" he huffed and then pushed his body further into your frame as you showed him the checks you were completing on the screen. 

Some time went by before he spoke up again, now invading your space past the limit you were comfortable putting up with.

"Baby you're really good at this you know," Darius cooed in your ear. You almost threw up all over the controls. Only Kylo could do that to you. You swallowed the acid in your throat and slammed your sweaty palms on the control screen below you.

A blaring warning sound ricocheted off the walls around you and people's attentions were all fixated on you. Darius' body heat was slowly moving from your side as your mind went blank. What had you done to set this off.

Hux and Kylo were in the room all at once and their presence suppressed your inability to think even further.

"What is happening?" Hux's smarmy tone echoed through your ears.

"Nothing General-"

"Haha she's broke the entire ship," Darius interjected before Kylo shot him a piercing glance.

"Commander, General I can explain-"

"Sir the ship's engines," the woman's voice paused you'd not noticed how close she was until now. Sitting just to the left of you hitting controls rapidly, "they're failing."

You rolled your eyes all at once your reality flooding back to you. You quickly remembered what you'd been showing Darius. The systems which you'd saved from failing the last time you'd been in there. You keyed in the code and the lights stopped, the piercing alarms stopped and the tension that had built around you stopped. Eyes glued back to what they was originally doing.

You turned to face your superiors a tangle of guilty and hatred mixed on your face to form the perfect shade of crimson.

"I was showing Darius the alarm systems," you lied gulping down the acid that had reformed in your throat.

"___," Lucia rushed over "what were you thinking?"

You looked at her and as if the blush on your cheeks couldn't get any worse, it did. You were so inferior in that moment that you were embarrassed to even think about the things you'd done with the people in front of you. They must have looked at you right then and saw how pathetic you truly were.

"-dismissed."

Your eyes were off the ground and back on the trio in front of you. Had Lucia just dismissed you? You balled your firsts ready to punch the next thing that got in your way and stormed from the bridge.

Thankfully no one did and as your feet carried you home you found tears escape you. Darius had made you look a fool. It was him. His fault.

You reached your Shoe Box, you lifted your hand using the Force to pull your saber from its hiding spot. It was in your fingertips a matter of seconds before it was ignited and carved through the air.

You quickly moved it forward, completing sets of moves you'd never mastered before. Red burned under your eye lids, anger seethed through every muscle. Every beat of your heart was a reminder of how much you hated him. How much you wanted to see you purple light straight through his body-

Knock Knock Knock

"___, I'm sorry."

"You!"You retracted your saber and threw it into the bathroom, it landing with a loud clang.

Your hand found the door, forcefully entering the code to open it. Almost breaking it as the door slid sideways. Your hands formed fists around his scrawny neck. His body pinned easily against the durasteel that lined the corridor walls.

"I'm sorry," he said his voice above a whisper.

You realised you must have seemed like a nut case to the stray troopers that littered the corridor you were stood in. You dropped your hands to your sides an audible slap as your palms hit your thighs. 

You pushed your bottom lip between your teeth, and muttered a barely audible "fine."

After that one word you was back in your room, the door clanging shut. The rage had left your system and your eyes adjusted to your surroundings.

Much to your horror the room that greeted you, was far from yours: your quarters were destroyed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Guys, I am terribly sorry for the late update this week, I haven't been my best so I haven't had chance to update until now. I hope however you enjoy this chapter and hate Darius even more!!! 


	12. Darius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes attempted rape. I don't want to upset or offend anyone so please read with caution.

Your cheeks were hot. Your room still in tatters, scorch marks and mattress stuffing everywhere. You'd not eaten, not spoken, not moved since you'd re-entered your room. Heck you weren't even convinced you'd blinked through the mass of tears that were still burning rivers down your cheeks. Each tear felt like sand paper dragging red scorched paths along them.

You sniffed once, the first audible noise that had left you since Darius. The tears stopped and you stood. The short walk to your bathroom so refreshing, but upon seeing it's pristine manner in comparison to the rest of your room, threatening the tears again.

You heard your data pad buzz and quickly searched the mess to find it.

___ I'm sorry about earlier. I had to show authority, to be honest I didn't want all of us to get in the sh*t.

You stopped reading the message, "no you just didn't want to get in the shit," you burned as your eyes scanned the rest.

I'm not sacking you don't worry. Darius explained the whole thing, he said he'd been provoking you all day. Kylo and Hux didn't seem to feel the need to start an inquest. I haven't been in touch yet as I have just finished for the day. I know it is late but I'd really appreciate if you could go and run through the diagnostic's in The Command Shuttle as soon as possible. It needs doing today and I haven't even eaten yet. Thanks and again I'm sorry, but there's nothing to worry about.

You grimaced perhaps your had been harsh on Darius, after all he'd taken the blame for you. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. If just a little misunderstood. 

"She hasn't even eaten?" You scoffed lugging on your boots you assumed you'd taken off in an earlier tantrum, "I haven't even eaten. Stupid work. Stupid Command Shuttle," you rattled off as you turned back to face the bathroom. 

Your saber laid in the middle it's reflection shining off the white tiles. 

"But I suppose..." you ducked to pick it up and stuffed it into your skirt, pulling your skirt over the top, "...yeah completely unnoticeable."

You left the mess behind and made a be line for the shuttle.

 

~~~

 

Ramp raised-check. Diagnostic's in progress-check. Saber in hand-check.

You pushed the button and the beam of purple pointed skyward. You examined the base, sure it had never looked so shiny. Had Kylo polished it too. You weren't sure but the reflection of yourself in the metal was haunting -you looked infected-cheeks the colour of Kylo's saber and eyes ringing with dark circles. 

But nevertheless you pressed on. Standing feet shoulder width apart. You started by trying to move the laser blade between your hands swiftly you wanted a clean transition, to move it quickly without chopping your hand off in the process. You'd been practising a few minutes before you perfected it at speed you even added a few hand twists in before throwing it between them. 

Whilst practising your mind wandered to the other Force user on The Finalizer, wondering if he could Force jump, you'd love to learn that move. You'd tried it only once before and face planted the concrete pretty hard on the landing, having sported a scabbed up face for a few days after it. 

You thought that you were pretty sure you'd be able to block a few of Kylo's swings but you weren't as sure you could make a few. Blocking was easy enough it was attacking you struggled to conquer against thin air. 

Several more minutes went by, the added space a blessing to your lack of talent. The diagnostic's were almost complete and you'd retracted your blade to do the final checks. 

A noise so very familiar to you now broke your from your dawdling, the noise of metal grinding metal. The ramp was lowering.

You slipped your saber onto a shelf in the corner and thought it may be Kylo, but you'd sense his signature so dismissed it as perhaps Hux or Phasma, which strangely became less of a worry to you. After the event earlier you were sure you couldn't look at Kylo the same way again.

"Oh babe. Didn't expect to find you here," Darius said as the ramp clanged the metal floor of The Finalizer.

"Oh brother," you huffed under your breath, the diagnostic's still had three minutes left. You could kill a three minutes conversation with the dick. 

"Why exactly are you here Darius," you questioned trying not to look at the now seemingly obvious place you'd hidden your saber painfully close to where Darius stood. 

"Lucia said something about the Command shuttle diagnostic's and I thought I'd check it out. Didn't expect you know her best engineer to be on the job." He closed the gap between you fumbling with some controls like he knew what he was doing. 

All of a sudden the ramp began to ascend up and you looked at D rolling your eyes.

"Hey I'm sorry, can't all be perfect engineers like you," his arms were around your waist swinging you around so your legs were between his.

"Ahem, well hey thanks for earlier D, it meant a lot to hear you'd stuck up for me," you painfully said to kill the rest of the two minutes.

"Well I suppose it means we are at a crossroads now, huh babe?" He said his once friendly innocent eyes turning dark and fiendish.

"I don't understand," you stuttered moving back slightly. 

"Well try," he said clicking his tongue and pacing an entire circle round you. 

"Excuse me?"

"The way I see it ___ is you're fucking the Commander, right?" 

Your breath hitched in your throat and you spluttered a protest, "wha-"

"I've seen you, leaving his quarters," he was still circling you and your eyes were flitting to the diagnostic's terminal: one minute.

"Maybe so but I haven't fucked him," you protested your once brave demeanour melting into a wavering mess.

"Yes but say I told the General, about it? Hmm do you think he'd be happy?" you were starting to think the ramp going up wasn't an innocent accident.

"You've been stalking me," you breathed out the smallest whimper escaping you. 

"That's not what I'd call it. More to the point: the crossroad we find ourselves at. I think it's only fair if we come to a compromise," he stopped behind you, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Fine," you whispered as you turned around to face him, he was walking towards you backing you against the control which was gently buzzing to let you know the diagnostic's were completed, "I'm done here. So get it over with, what do you want?" You met his gaze and a new found confidence bubbled within you. 

"I want to fuck you," his words were vicious like knives through your chest and the confidence that had sparked only seconds before, was now drowning in putrid black water.

"No way," you cried throwing your hands up, although he caught them in his with ease, crushing them against the controls. 

"Let me re-phrase pet. I'm going to fuck you." He moved his hand from yours and quickly pinned your neck, twisting gently against the almost fully healed bruises from Kylo's saber. 

You bit your lip, pain throbbing through your blood, "you're hurting me D," you tried to reason, calling him by his nickname in an attempt to gain his attention.

However he was relentless finding your simple statement pleasurable and his lips snarled a response,"good." 

You looked him dead in the eyes and saw them lit with excitement and lust. Your scared expression must have spurred him on, as he tightened his grip to choke you.  

"I see why the Commander would want to fuck you," he kept one had firmly on your throat already blurring your vision. His strength taking you by surprise, removing you from your surroundings. White blurred the corners of your vision capturing you slowly from the outside in.

You choked against his hand, "get the fuck off-" but it didn't stop him your shuddering figure not once making him re-think his action, contrary his grip stiffened, suffocating you now past conscious thought. The world fuzzy, your arms buzzing along with your ears, in fact your entire body seemed to be buzzing, a vibration that was sending you slowly into the abyss. 

"Keep quiet and no one will know your secret," his words although grim, seemed so soothing to your ears. It was the only thing that made you realise you were still clinging to reality, still alive and living. You pulled in sharp staggered juts of air through your nostrils, holding on to the world, the effort to scream, to project to Kylo for help, all too much for your body and mind to take. 

Now his free hand was moving up from your belly button, sliding to your breasts, taking the right one and kneading it, in harsh, forceful fists. 

"Ple-" you tried for the first time since he had pinned you but to little avail your nipple was hardening, a primitive response to such actions and although you felt nothing towards the man, no love, no sexual desire, it still got harder. 

"Look pet, so good for me," as if those words struck a cord deep within you, your mind sprung into action although the air was still being squeezed from your lungs. Your breathing burned your nose, bruised it, like your body was willing you to give in. You looked at your attacker, anger starting to boil at the pit of your stomach, adrenaline beginning to burn and you started screaming. Not much of what you had wanted was strong enough to break the clasp around your neck, but nevertheless you pressed on, washing them over your thoughts, forcing them through your mouth. He moved the hand from your breast, the sickening pleasure he'd be stirring inside your stomach evaporated and you were so thankful, but only for seconds. His hand was now on your mouth covering it with ease, he looked you dead in the eyes, "who are they going to believe?" 

You stopped your words, but continued your thoughts, little did D know that you had many ally's aboard The Finalizer, one was bound to know and you had your bet's on it being Kylo. He looked at you and realised you'd thrown the towel in, he unpeeled his hand from your mouth the taste of his sweat lingering on your lips. The same hand ripped open your shirt and your mind was finally giving in to the asphyxiation. 

The next round of your torture was when he pushed his lips against yours, his tongue straight into your mouth his grip loosening on your throat enough for you to suck in air through your nose until you came back to reality. You knew found strength snapped your brain into action and you managed to grab his tongue between your teeth and you bit down hard. His hand collided with your face and you fell to the floor sucking in air as fast as you could, afraid he'd start the strangling again. You didn't have much time to recover before his foot slammed into your stomach and then again in the chest. You were screaming again now, it bouncing off the walls.

He grabbed you by the neck and yanked you up, "you fucking bitch," he spat in your face and your eyes showed terror as you gained back your strength. There was blood pouring from his mouth where you'd bitten his tongue and it was now no doubt scattering your face.  

But it was too late for him you sent him flying into the wall at the side of the ramp one hand raised to hold him there with The Force the other hand held out to retrieve your saber.

"You've picked the wrong girl to fuck, you're dead!!!" but as you screamed it, the ramp started to lower and it took you be surprise, enough to unpin him. He jumped on you clearly not noticing the ramp himself pulling your legs apart as his body crushed into yours.

"Now you have to fuck me, or I'll tell everyone your a Force user," the head of his cock was rubbing against your pants and you snapped. Forcing him against the wall again igniting your saber and at pace plunging it inside him.

You watched his eyes open wide realisation hitting him, you twisted the saber, "you fucking creep. I'd never", you dug the blade further, "ever," this time you heard the blade go through the wall and as the light dyed almost completely from his eyes, you finished, "fuck you." 

Then he was gone.

You stepped back eyes blinking starring at your blade sheathed inside Darius. Him hanging at least three feet off the ground. His body limp but stuck, the blade starting to slip down the metal through his body. You closed your eyes, haunted by the imagine of him. 

Reaching out a hand you brought the saber back to you, turning it off and dropping it to the floor. You'd never felt this way, you felt invigorated like killing Darius had opened your eyes to how much you needed The Force, couldn't live without it. If you hadn't have had it, he'd have had his way with you and who knows even killed you along the way. 

You opened your eyes.

Kylo was stood there, his presence swarming through the door like a plague. You projected to him, loud and clear, _so now you know._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I hope I haven't scared y'all off, but it was necessary for a lot of plot related reasons. Next chapter will be nice I promise! Love Els x


	13. I Heard You

"Don't just stand there," you cried at Kylo who was still stood in the arch of the ramp.

"___, oh my god, ___ what happened?" Lucia was next in the picture, running up the ramp and quickly squatting to her knees. You looked at yourself, you were covered in swelling bruises and red marks, your stomach ached and more so your chest.

You were in nothing other than your pants and bra, your shirt covering up your shoulders, the only scrap of modesty left in you. Kylo seemed to stare at you for a while, before he turned and stormed off and in the midst of black you saw him equip his saber: was he angry?

Someone was shaking you, holding your shoulders. You remember you turned to face them, your vision swirling in a tornado the center of it was Darius pinned up against the mirrored surface the gaping hole you'd plunged into him.

A wracked scream pierced the air, you knew it was yours, yet it was alien to your ringing ears.

Something burned within you, something you hadn't felt before, something tugging. Like a rope constricted you, pulled you into the depths of darkness. You wanted him, needed him to teach you everything he knew, to perfect you to make you stronger. Yet he was walking away, he was leaving you!

You bolt upright, your body unresponsive, it's actions were out of your control.

"He deserved every inch of it," your voice escaped your throat and your hand twitched to your saber.

"I'd do it again and again and again over and over, I would make him suffer, make him look me in the eye while I stick him with my weapon, watch as the life drained from his eyes and know that he could do it to no one else, not me, not them, not ever!"

Lucia's grasp tightened on you, "___ I'm sorry," her quivering voice barely above a whisper.

You heart ached and all that ran through your head: that shouldn't have happened to me, that shouldn't have happened.

Pained, rapid breaths shuck your rib cage as you held back tears, but it didn't last long before sobs pulsed through your body.

"Lucia, tell me, tell me that-" you came up short snot running down your nose, tears streaming down your cheeks, "you would, you'd have done it!"

She pulled you into a hug cradled you against her chest, soothed you, breathed hushed whispers in your ear, "it's my fault, it's my fault, shhh, shhh please."

It hurt, you entire body hurt. Yet despite the pain her words were drawing you in. Pulling you into warmth, into reality, into sleep.

~~~

You shuffled, stretched out your toes, took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"Uhh," you moaned unaware of your current surroundinns, having relived the awful ordeal several times in your sleep.

Your eyes wandered to the door of the room where you'd been left, it was being guarded by one of the troopers. Then your eyes were around the room, scanning over the machines and metal instruments, the screens that you now noticed were monitoring you.

Then as if your senses were coming back one by one, you noticed the smell, the smell of medical instruments and disinfectant. Next was the sound: the med bay quite silent, yet the beeping of the machines beside you were almost drown out by the conversations in the corridor.

Finally you felt the pain, the aches and bruises and then your attention was on your wrists. They were bound to the edges of the bed your were laid in, someone had put you in the generic casual uniform and you prayed they had burnt your previous attire, or sent it out into space: along with his body.

"Hello?" you said the sound of your own voice painful to hear.

You closed your eyes, what was the point?

You heard the door slide open and then slide shut, but you didn't open your eyes, you didn't have to, to know who it was.

"You," you grumbled through your teeth.

"Don't," and then you heard a thud: metal hitting the tile floor, "go steady."

That wasn't Kylo's voice, it wasn't his automated robot voice and yet you were so sure his signature was all around you.

"Sorry I thought you were someone else, get me out of these fucking restraints, don't you think I couldn't just destroy the entire room if I wanted to?"

"I'd be genuinely impressed ____," he spoke again, his words on the contrary to your own: syrup to your ears. Like the deep baritone of his voice couldn't be more calming if he tried.

You gritted your teeth and snapped open your eyes, "listen-....commander Ren," you broke yourself off and stuttered the last part.

He raised his finger to his lips, smothering you with his gaze, "I'm sorry that happened to you."

Excuse me, what, sorry? Kylo fucking Ren...sorry?

"Fuck, well at least I am not having the nightmare again," you said trying to blink yourself awake.

"You were screaming," he persisted, this time his voice more firm and more true to himself.

"No one could hear me, no one goes near the Command Shuttle at night," you huffed desperately wanting to sit up. The stranger in front of you raised his hands and in one click both the metal clasps came undone from your wrists.

You twirled both hands three times and sat up, "no you were projecting to me."

"I was," you sighed.

"He deserved it."

The words cut like a knife and although meant in kindness they made your heart bleed, your tears threaten to fall and the lump of acid in your throat to burn it's way back into existence.

Teach me. Teach me the ways of the dark side Commander, you thought: too scared to speak in that moment.

Then you snapped out of your sulk and woke up to the reality happening in front of you, he is human. He's the most beautiful person you can remember, nothing like you'd expected, everything else. Messy brown waves and chocolate eyes. Your eyes roamed the whole of him, every aspect, for what seemed a lifetime and he let you. If not for his own ego, then as pity for what had happened to you, you were sure.

"Why now?" you said eyes welling up.

"I told you."

Sure, I came clean, but is this the price I have to pay? As the thought span round in your skull, something clicked.

"Leave me alone," the tears evaporated leaving Kylo with a scowl.

He rolled his eyes, so uncharacteristic of him, you thought-yet how would you know.

"How-you think I would do this to you?" Ren said closing the gap between you and the bed.

You used the Force to push him against the door, but he was quick having already glued you in place, "first mistake."

"If not you then who? Hmm, you're the one who was so desperate for me to tell you the truth!" you shouted.

His gloved hand was on your mouth, "be quiet."

You gave him your best death stare, "answer me-" you tried though it escaped in muffled tones of complete gibberish.

"It wasn't me," he said through gritted teeth.

"Fine," this time the one word seemed to get through to him and he released your mouth. You're not quite sure how you managed your next move but you used all your Force strength to hold him in place.

He faltered stuck for what seemed hours to you, he struggled from your grasp, "impressive" he rasped.

You tried to re-pin him, fix him to the spot, but your mind was flattering, a lapse in your thought process: did this mean he can fuck you?

Him being stood there so handsome, so powerful, so mind-blowingly smug. He was turning you on and you couldn't help thinking about it.

He didn't seem to acknowledge your throught process, perhaps he'd never meant the words he'd said to you and a wave of sadness washed over you: he used you?

His jaw flexed and he stopped his pace towards you, "try again" you cut him short regarding his face his features, not giving any ounce of his feelings away, "but this time concentrate."

He raised an eyebrow that smugness you'd be en enjoying seconds earlier, making it harder for you to concentrate, harder for you to prove yourself to him.

You filtered, cleared your mind of Kylo Ren, closed your eyes and raised your hand-

"Not a very tactical move ____," he said but his voice was no longer in front of you it was behind you the warmth of his lips touching your ear.

"With due respect Commander you're really distractin-" you swallowed the rest of that sentence with a loud gulp.

"Oh I am, am I?" He grabbed your wrists in swift movements they were behind your back in his gloved hands, "not like your thoughts didn't give it away."

"Kylo..." you breathed through chattering teeth...was this the moment you'd be waiting fo-no, "aren't I going to be sacked? I killed someone"

"Spoil sport-" Kylo sighed as he paced back around to the front of you, "I suppose Hux will want to see you regarding it."

"Oh yeah! I suppose I want to see Hux regarding it, he hired the cun-" Kylo stuffed two fingers in your mouth.

He shushed you again, "learn when to control your temper-"

"You're one to talk you fuckin-" you said taking his fingers out of your mouth.

Kylo raised his hand to his helmet and used the Force to move it to his hands. It was all too quickly back on his head and it made you more angry.

You'd wanted to kiss him.

"Come find me later then pet", and with that he spun on his heel and left the room.

"What the fuck did he mean by learn when to control your temper," you screamed plopping down onto the bed, "if it's not him it's that stupid idiot...Hux!!!!" You shouted fists clenched in the sheets.

"Miss ___ I'm so glad, it seems you've had such a speedy recovery...but I shall not be disrespected by inferior officers" Hux boiled his voice angrier than you can remember hearing it, "I need to speak to you in my office."

Then as if by magic your feet were following him onto the bridge, into his office, where you feared the worst of all.

Termination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry it's late, I've had a busy week! Hope you enjoy though and thank you for all the comments recently you wonderful people!


	14. Lesson Number Two

"Your recent-" Hux searched for the appropriate words "incident with Dari-"

You raised an eyebrow body twitched, "MY recent incident?"

"If you choose to interrupt me again, I won't let you speak another word," his eyes bored into your skull like razor sharp blades of confidence, after everything you'd done and he wasn't even close to scared of what you were capable of, "are we clear?"

You nodded silently.

"Your recent incident with Darius will not go unnoticed by the other officers on board The Finalizer, people are questioning your motives within our ranks," he paused looked at you as if he would find the indication to the side you were on right then and there, "but I for one know that you are worth far more to us as an asset...provided you don't become a liability. Darius'-" another pause in search for the word, it wasn't hard for you but interjecting with murder, slaughter, killing, wasn't an option here "-death was needed." 

You pulled in a sharp breath ready to attack him with your words but remembered your inevitable termination and nodded releasing that breath.

"It has of course brought to our attention, you are far more than just a highly qualified engineer. Therefore in light of these circumstances it will be in Commander Ren's best interests to train you in the ways of the dark side, not only for him but for-"

"The First Order?" 

"Precisely." Hux said seeming to ignore the fact you'd  interrupted. 

"If I may General," you bit your tongue pierced him with a glare, "what makes you think I'd want to join the side of the dark?"

"You have two options, train with Kylo or leave The Finalizer, and when I say leave-"

"termination?" you finished for him.

He nodded and then proceeded, "you are of value to us, but by no means are we in need of one more Force user fighting  on the opposing side..." he stopped the pace he had started from the beginning in front of his desk, he looked across to you, arms folded.

"What about Darius?" 

"Darius is no longer any of our concern, you did me a favor by killing him before he-"

"I didn't kill him to do you a favor, I killed the bastard because he tried to rape me!" You snapped sprung from your chair hand raised and much the opposite of Kylo, Hux didn't budge from the Force grip you held him in. 

"One word from me and I could have you in a far worst state than the one you put Darius in" Hux spat not phased by your threat.

"I may be one of your puppets now General, but I am by no means on the dark side, nor light. I'd much prefer to not have to take a stupid side-" you released him and his boots made an audible thump as they regained surface on the floor.

"We shall see. Commander Ren will wish to see you now I'm sure. Do you need escorting or are you going to be a good girl?" Hux said boiling your blood to scolding point. This time your raised hand sent the smart alec ginger hurtling towards the wall. 

"I'll behave for Kylo, General. But you, you're a different story...don't tempt me to break you." This time genuine fear flashed over his eyes, if only for a split second, but you'd gotten your message across.

But as you were about to release the man the door burst open and Kylo spilled into the room, his Force signature heavy on your shoulders.

"Ren-" Hux growled as you still held him in place, "give her hell."

As if the whole conversation hadn't been demoralising enough you were thrown to the floor by The Force, Kylo pushed waves and waves of pain through your already aching skull, you yelped but the noise was inaudible as though your limp body didn't even have the strength to push it out of your throat. Hux's boots arrived at your face on the ground and you felt as he used his fingers to angle your chin upwards so you could see his face, barely through the head ache you were receiving.

"Know. Your. Place." He said and then your body gave in to the pain already having had enough yesterday evening, you just couldn't take it anymore and so you let it rest.

~~~

"Get up," woke you from your doze and you knew you hadn't been out long, "you think threatening the General is going to get you anywhere?"

You groaned and opened your eyes, you'd been moved to a large room, with two doors one behind you and one in front. Your eyes locked with Kylo's and you pulled an angry face. 

"It's not him!" you shouted standing with ease, "It's you, it's always been you, it's your fucking fault I am in this mess!"

He chuckled and you heard the distinct sound of static coming from the mask, "that's it, why not blame everyone for your inability to keep your temper! Do it! Does it make you feel better? You'll just become less and less of a person by doing so!" he said. It started off calm and his tone got heavier and heavier with each word.

"You piece of shit...stop telling me to keep my fucking temper," you paused sucked in a huge breath and balled your fists, "you're worse than me! And I am far more of a person than you will ever be! You think you block me all the time? You think I haven't seen in your mind, haven't seen how you're drawn to the light, how weak you are?" you practically screamed at this point, "you won't even show your face AND I AM THE ONE WHOSE LESS OF A PERSON!" 

Kylo froze you in place, his blood as boiled as your own, but you struggled for seconds before you were out of it, you groaned as you used all your Force strength to push him against the wall, "you think I am weak Commander? Give me my saber and I will show you whose the weak one!" 

"You should not be so disrespectful ____," he said un-clipping his helmet and tossing it to the side of him, his face was as stern as yours, red and angry. 

_He'd started it._

He pulled your saber off the attachment on his belt and you snatched it from his grasp with the Force, at least he was giving you a fair fight. You ignited it and seconds later you heard the sound of his  own glow to life.

"You can't even perfect a saber and you expect to rule the galaxy?" you spat, everything you had ever wanted to say to him was falling from your lips. A river that had burst it's banks.

"No more games _____," Kylo said before moving you with little effort against the wall that had been to the left of you when you'd woken. A crushing pain seeped through your spine and you bit your tongue so you didn't cry out.

After being hung in the air for mere moments you were running full pelt at the man, raising your saber to clash against his in a nasty hiss. The intense heat prickled sweat along your forehead and you only wished the reasons for it could have been different. 

Kylo's eyes met yours anger consumed them, "you're not strong enough ____, you will never be strong en-" you cut him short by using the Force on his neck, a steady strangle, enough to keep him quiet but it wouldn't have killed him. 

However your efforts didn't last long before he was tripping you and pushing your body further and further into the floor as if it was made of sand and you were sinking. You held your purple blade against your chest as he clashed his with it. This time the heat was unbearable as he pushed your blade lower and lower, the flames licking at your top that they'd given you in the med bay. He didn't waver, didn't stop his pressure: he'd slice you in two.

Fear flooded your face and you looked at him as you used all your strength to keep your saber stationary, all the while he used his own to drive yours closer to your skin. His eyes were however locked on his blade, like he'd forgotten who he was about to kill.

Then an idea popped into your head, staring at his saber for so long you'd lost count. 

_I need to re-think my tactics...to think I'd used that saber only days ago for something that could kill me in far more pleasant ways. I even told him my secret, surely he knows now that I get him._

You paused your thoughts for a moment before you projected to him with all the strength you had left: _all of him-_

His eyes flickered to meet yours and the pressure he was putting on your blade stopped, you used the Force to pin him against the wall. His saber clattered to the floor it's light had disappeared, which led you to believe he had stopped it seconds before you'd flung him against the durasteel.

"Commander Ren sir, wouldn't that be lesson number one?" you said seductively, as you held the purple beamed blade by your side in your right hand, "don't get distracted?"

You used The Force in the way he loved to with you, stroking his ever growing bulge that was becoming and more evident by the second. You noticed his jaw clench, yet he didn't falter, didn't take his gaze off you, didn't stop fighting the Force hold you had on him. 

"Let me have this one victory..." you raised your saber to his throat and pushed it so the space between it and Kylo's skin were millimeters apart, "please Commander Ren let me have you." You retracted the blade as you pushed the handle against his shoulder and locked your lips with his, he groaned into your mouth, did he actually think you'd do such things to him? Cut his head clean off and become the ten year old Force user on the ship?

You smiled against his lips and then laughed, holding him against the wall with your hands now, stopping the Force completely. He groaned in appreciation this time and spun you around so you were pinned instead. His tongue quickly found yours and you were eagerly exploring one another, he seemed more lustful than you, even though you'd started it. His lips ravaged yours hungrily nipping and biting and sucking where he could. You gladly took it from him, moans passing your lips on more the one occasion. 

"Lesson number two..." he pulled in breaths as he took one last lingering bite of your bottom lip, " learn to respect your Master." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the cliff hanger :D smut ensues!
> 
> This time next week I will be super excited for my trip to the US! So if I don't update until Friday I apologise, I'll be flying all day Thursday! 
> 
> Thanks for all your support!


	15. You're Mine Now

"K...Ky..lo" you fumbled.

He slammed his palms either side of your head and drew close to your ear, "punishment is in order," his tongue darted out to draw lines up and across your ear lobe, until his teeth were biting. You couldn't do much but stand frozen perplexed by the events which had just happened in front of you.

He traced his tongue across your jawline and down your neck, "this is what you want isn't it pet. Don't deny the fantasies you have for me...you project so clearly in your sleep," he reached your collar bone and bit down sucking at the sensitive skin there, you stifled a moan as he moved further along forming a trail of swollen bruises. Another and another each one as pleasurable as the next.

"K...Kylo, people will see.." you rasped through jagged breaths.

He gave a low chuckle as he pulled away from your aching skin, "listen."

The word didn't make sense to you, _listen? Listen to what?_ You guessed you'd become so detached to your surroundings that you'd forgotten about Kylo's Force signature, crushing you in place, buzzing as he let his thoughts out to you: his feelings.

Your levels of lust rose as you latched on to him, "you want them to?"

"You're mine now," His words course through the air seeming to find the longing between your thighs intensifying it to oblivion.

You let out a groan, not paying attention to the fact his breath was now on your breasts, you could feel the goose bumps rising, your nipple hardening.

"Commander Ren," you pleaded, "if I'm yours then please, please let me cum by your cock."

Your words spurred him on as he took your stiffened nipple in his mouth and sucked. His teeth grazed your skin slightly until he used them to tug on it. Earning low appreciative mumbles escape you.

You felt his cock push up against you through the fabric of his cloak. Which made you groan in appreciation, "seen as you begged so nicely for me, get on your hands and knees."

Your body sprang into action but you slowed it before you gave your Commander the satisfaction of seeming so eager. You dropped down noticing your top-that you'd sworn you were wearing seconds ago-on the floor, your brain so out of tune with the events unfolding before you.

Your mind snapped back to reality. You'd dropped at the direct height of Kylo's throbbing cock. You wanted to taste him again like the first time you'd been on the Finalizer, without further hesitation your reached for him. Your hand finding his shaft circling it in your grasp. Considering he hadn't stopped you, you began to stroke up and down its length tightening your grip slightly as you went, it was bigger than you'd remembered and the ache to have it inside you was too much.

You took the head into your mouth-tasted his appreciation for you from the off-and moaned sending vibrations rippling across it. You looked up to him he'd tossed his head back, his eyes shut waiting for your next move. You quickly began working his cock relaxing your throat to let him all the way in and all the way out at pace. You used your tongue on his head swirling around it, pre-cum leaking every second you spent working him to climax.

You liked that you were in control this time and as you sucked harder he let out a tiny moan, you smirked as you pulled off it with an audible pop.

"Did I not give you an order?" He used the force on your throat and the suddenness of it took you by surprise. _So he didn't like to fact I made him moan on my own?_ You thought as you crawled away.

He stopped the Force on your neck and started it on your clit, "that's a good girl" the ache on your clit screamed for attention at that point and you knew it wouldn't be enough.

Kylo must have heard your thoughts because the Force on your clit multiplied and you couldn't hold the several moans that pushed through your body. At this point if Kylo didn't take off your trousers you were sure you'd make them wet too, your panties were long gone.

He made quick work of your attire ripping the fabric at the seams, his hand collided with your ass cheeks and you felt them throbbing, at this rate you'd cum before he even let you have him.

He chuckled in response to your thoughts which you clearly was not doing a good job at blocking. You didn't think it possible how could he make the Force go faster on your clit and if that wasn't enough he'd used it to plunge in and out of your core, it felt so real like his fingers were bringing you to the edge. The thought of that drove you closer and closer, "Commander please I want you...I want to cum by your co-" he cut your sentence short by increasing the speed.

"____ you'll soon learn that your Commander expects you to cum for him more than once."

And with that you broke down, the wall that had built up in side of you crumbled and in its wake your body shuck and twitched while he slowed the Force until it stopped.

"-and next time I expect you to scream my name..." he growled as he forced his cock inside your dripping pussy. You let out a load moan as he waited for you to accommodate his size

"You're tight ___" he moaned as he started a slow rock in and out of you. 

Your senses were numbing again, the pressure building. Kylo was increasing his speed and you couldn't quite believe it was still happening, not only did you get to become even stronger with the Force but you got to be fucked by the Commander of The First Order too. You were trying not to let that be a good thing in your mind, but it was seeping through the cracks in your facade.

He must have been reading you as he was making it increasingly difficult to stay up right, your arms were buckling and your second orgasm was about to shatter through you. Kylo was moaning too now, his moves becoming sloppy. With one last thrust you were sent spiralling over the edge arms caving in as you both fell in a heap on the floor, his cock throbbing inside you as ropes of hot cum filled you, keeping you in climax for what seemed like an eternity. The world was spinning as you twitched underneath the Commander, catching your breath as did he. 

"Stay here..." he spoke his voice still dripping with the aftermath of his orgasm, he pulled out of you and your twitches ground to a halt. You sat yourself up, reaching for your shirt.

Kylo came back into the room, stood in one of the door ways, he was completely naked now his hair sticking to his forehead, his body glistening with sweat. 

You must have been staring pretty bad, because you heard him sigh and immediately took your eyes off his chest, "come here." 

You stood shyly, moving towards him gingerly somehow it felt weird him seeing you this naked, even though he'd just fucked you in to oblivion. 

"You really need to work on your thoughts ____," he said as you finally reached him and left the room you'd previously been in. You felt your body turn redder and redder and redder as you followed him into another smaller room, passing through the room you'd been in before when he'd given you your saber back. 

"Of course Commander sir," you finely fumbled as you made it into the bathroom. 

He started the water for the shower and he walked in to it, "are you going to stand there all day or are you going to get in?"

The shower was a walk in one, there was more than enough room for both of you, so you decided to stand off to the side, "I can...erm wait..."

He rolled his eyes and used the Force to move you up to him, "when I ask you to do something I expect it to be done, do you understand?"

"Yes Commander..." you stuttered.

"Oh and one more thing," he crushed you against the wall with his body, the hot water forming steam all around you both. 

You looked down, not sure why you'd become so shy, you'd started it. 

He angled your chin up to look at him, "you didn't scream it."

You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat and was about to talk when he smothered you in a kiss, not like the other. It wasn't needy or lustful, it almost seemed loving? But that wasn't exactly Kylo's style, you kissed him back, grateful of the change of pace. 

He pulled away and spoke against your lips, "but you get one warning."

You nodded and he released his grip on you.

You finished showering and left for the evening: still in complete bafflement of the entire situation. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I have some bad news. Okay so with me going away I doubt I will have much time to write let alone revise, which means this fic is on hold for one month..I will be uploading chapter 16 on the 5th of October :D 
> 
> Hope this was a good ending to leave it on until then...
> 
> Love you guys as always and thanks for all the support!


	16. Choose a Side

You'd made it back to The Shoe Box the events still buzzing in your head. A whirlwind dominated by Kylo. Dazed, distracted you laid on your bed, scrolling through your emails:

 

Medbay – Patient T98B

 

This is an automated call out to confirm Miss ___ ___ has been discharged from our unit on the approval of General Hux.

 

You scrolled further along, general reminders to all employees, changes in shifts, a list of jobs...jobs? Did the General and Commander expect you to keep working?

 

A List of Jobs

 

Hi ___,

 

I received your discharge notes, we need to meet. I called by the med bay today, I was told you'd followed Hux to his office: then it was like you went off the radar.

 

Shall we meet tonight, I have so much to say to you. I'd rather do it face to face but first and foremost I'm sorry that even happened to you. Vile creature...I should be more professional...arrange a place and time to meet ASAP.

 

Love Lucia x

 

You'd decided to ignore her a little longer, you had a bad feeling about the things she wanted to talk to you about and surely Hux would have told her you're no longer an engineer. No: instead, Kylo's weird sex subject, whom you assumed would casually teach you 'the ways of The Force' on the off chance he didn't desire to fuck you. Sufficed to say you'd heard his projections loud and clear he'd made it very obvious to you that he'd like to go about ravaging you on a daily basis.

 

Something you'd not really decided you were okay with yet.

 

~ Incoming call ~

 

Broke you out of your thoughts, "hmm odd the number isn't registered to The Finalizer?"

 

You moved you finger to the answer button, stopped pondered for a few seconds and then hit green.

 

"H..hello?"

 

Static noise erupted from the device, "It's..." a pause while the static interrupted the familiar sounding woman, "she's online boosting the signal now, Ally....yes it's confirmed the device is stable. Hello? Hello? Come in ___?"

 

"Leia?" you stuttered.

 

"Don't sound so surprised to hear me, we wouldn't have left one of our own behind..." more static.

_Shit._

 

Brain unresponsive to create cognitive speech, _should I just hang up?_

 

"___ are you there please confirm you location?" she persisted.

 

"I am on The Finalizer," you said before you really thought about it. Did you really want The Resistance back on your case too?

 

"Ally how's that signal?"

 

"I'm patching it Miss Organa, ____, ____!" although the the name Ally was foreign to your ears you knew full well that was Jimmy J's voice.

 

"Jimmy? I can hear you clearly now...what's going on?"

 

"Did they hurt you lass? Where do they keep you?" the old man rolled off before you stopped him from asking more.

 

"Whoa slow down I'm fine..."

 

"How?" Leia interrupted

 

"I'm a good engineer, managed to convince them they needed me alive-"

 

Interrupted again, "so that's how you escaped the slaughter-all the padawans-"

 

"What?" you gasped.

 

"They killed them ____ killed them all, it's when I realised I needed to come to The Resistance I had to find you..." Ally's voice wavered.

 

"To the point Miss ____ our connection won't last much longer, we have secured access to your device. With you being on the inside right now all we need from you is Intel, we'll begin to infiltrate once you confirm with us the weaknesses in their infrastructure and ranks for that matter. I am only assuming you've been blocking Kylo, you'd be on the dark side by now if not. We, going forward, can contact you directly through your device use password alpha Charlie echo two two three eight...please confirm?"

 

"Erm..."

 

"____?"

 

"Yes..yes okay alpha Charlie echo two two three eight..."

 

"Good," Leia started but the com was quickly taken over by the sound Jimmy's voice, "please ___ come back to us in one piece don't give them anything you're so strong, I knew it from the start girl, don't let those murderous villains....in...I will..." and then Ally's sobbing voice stopped and the call broke.

_What the fuck have I done?_

 

~Enter Password~

 

"A, C, E, two, two, three, eight...” you keyed in the data as you said it and then hated yourself for it. You didn't have to deal with these ass holes!

 

~Password accepted~

 

"Okay...okay...okay...okay...just never look at it again...just...oh god..." you stuttered words of encouragement.

 

I'm Chan your point of contact on this line...

 

You stared down at the pad your eyes glued to the words, hoping to god he wouldn't type anymore.

 

We don't expect you to type straight away...

 

"Good how about 'you don't expect me to type ever'" you said hoping you'd do this and never have to deal with The Resistance again. However for a second your mind raced to Jimmy you'd found out his name...his concern for you...it made your heart ache. You weren't at all sure what was family anymore.

 

Contact us when you have the requested information...

 

"What like all the ship's structural weaknesses? Ha start with Kylo Ren and General Hux, put them two in the same room with me and you've got yourself one huge structural weakness." You sighed getting under the duvet you'd be laid on top of and let the blur of today's events drift you off into a deep sleep, one you hadn't had for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Feels good to be back uploading for you! I wrote this while I was away in Florida, I hope you enjoy it. Reading it back I am not sure about the way it came out but, it's a turning point in the plot I had to get in. 
> 
> As ever thanks for all your support and lovely comments.


	17. Blocking

BANG BANG BANG 

"Your incompetence to follow strict orders is going to cost you your life Miss ____." a distorted mumble awoke you from behind the door. You rolled over and rubbed your eyes. The clock read 9.03 you shot out of bed banging your head on the low ceiling as you did so "fuck" you cursed. 

BANG BANG BANG

"If I have to ask you again Miss ____," you pressed the door button.

"Oh fuck General...I mean...General Hux sir" your eyes raised from the floor to meet his.

"You're more trouble than you are worth." He huffed, "care to explain why you are not dressed and with the Commander?" 

"Yes...I mean...no.." you huffed _what's the answer not to get me killed?_

"It's my job to make sure you're doing your job! Do you understand?" 

You nodded the motion half giving you a headache, you'd not meant to over sleep. If you hadn't have been so exhausted you'd have remembered to set your usual alarm.

"Yes General sir." 

"If you are not dressed and ready in ten minutes I'll know and if I do know then you better be in my office in fifteen minutes."

You closed your eyes took in a deep breath and looked up to him, " of course sir."

With that Hux left your doorway and marched down the corridor and which moment you realised how much Hux was Kylo's bitch.  

~~~Ten minutes later~~~

"Sorry I'm late Kylo...I over slept..." you groaned as if the words were painful to say. A lie wouldn't have worked he could read you like a book: literally. 

"Three things ____. First of all Hux is not my so called 'bitch'" you turned bright red at that and prayed to god you wouldn't get punished for it later, "second, you know my rules I made myself very clear," _shit I don't get second chances ugh oh god I'm so done for_ "and finally, I know you're blocking me. So if I don't find out why by the end of the day, you better hope I go easy on you." 

"Y...y..yes Commander." 

"Good."

"Commander...about last night..." you needed to address the situation, no time like the present.

"Did I work you too hard, is that why you are late to meet me this morning?" 

 _Fuck_..."no Commander I don't understand what we...are...?"

He chuckled but as usual all you heard was static, at which point he took off his helmet as you finally made it into the room you'd been in the night before, "did you not hear me?" 

You looked at him and seemed more perplexed than you as if the question you'd just directed to him was nothing but a trick.

"Hmmm?" 

**You're mine and that means I get to do as I please to you.**

"No." 

"No?" He said and used to Force to lift you a few feet of the ground by your neck, it was hard to breath let alone speak, "don't you dare deny this isn't exactly what you wanted." 

He released you and you fell to the ground. Perhaps you had been spell bent on fucking him but that's not what you wanted, you didn't want to be nothing more than just his...

You scowled at him, "let's just get on with it...Commander." 

"Considering you've wasted half of our morning..."he snapped and waltzed into the centre of the room, "why not start with a lesson on blocking."

_Yes why not start with that dick head why not start with the one thing that's keeping me alive right now._

"See ___ you project your profanities, your hatred towards me, exceptionally, and yet the rest I can't see which only makes me feel like you have other motives. It's humorous..."

"Humorous?" You rolled your eyes.

 "I can take anything I want from you."

"Fine let's have a lesson on it Commander, I think you'll find you can't take this from me." 

"You're so sure of yourself hmm? Do you really want to challenge me like that pet?" He scoffed as he circled your position. "Your mantras won't work when I've heard them all before."

Kylo reached out his hand and the crippling pressure on your head began, "mother fucker!"

"Giving in already ___? I've barely started.." his hand twitched as his Force signature strangled you further, the pressure on your brain so intense your visions began to blur.

You let him have his fun drew him in, made him think he had the upper hand and then you put all your energy and focus into resisting him, pushing the walls you'd build around your skull back. Further and further until his face screwed in frustration. 

As you pushed him away you found your confidence and you could feel he was about to break and your Force energy would be pouring through his brain taking everything you wanted from him instead.

"____..." he groaned. 

It didn't stop you you kept pushing him out you'd blocked him now and started pushing into his brain, his thoughts, his feelings.

"____..." This time more stern but you were so engrossed on his emotions you were struggling to stop the exhilaration that was spurring you on.

He was scared, scared he'd never be good enough. Scared he'd always be weak because of his pull to the light. He was justifying himself on the fact he'd...he'd killed his own father. Making that his focal point, it meant he was on the dark side it meant he was worthy. But then there was pain overwhelming pain that he'd actually plunged that saber...his saber into his Dad's chest and watched him drop, fall to his death, by his hand. The images pulsed through your brain along with actual pain his pain...everything he felt...all at once. You couldn't stop...didn't want to break from him...didn't want to let him go...

"Stop ___ please..." snapped you from his spiralling dark centre drew you back out into the artificial light of the room.

Your eyes fixed on his he was knelt on the floor, his eyes closed his fists in balls at his sides.  

You looked closer and noticed tears...real...actual tears streaming down his face.

You weren't sure why but you needed desperately to hold him, tell him  it would be okay, but your feet wouldn't move. Visions a blur of Han falling over the edge Kylo's pain. You'd known of his death but seeing it so real happen through his eyes. It hurt. 

"Commander...Kylo..." you looked at him tears in your own eyes. You dropped to your knees in front of him. Your hands reached to cup his face in them but he stopped you before you had a chance.

"Get. Out." His voice low and stern and then the doors you'd used to get in opened. 

Before you had time to think about whether you wanted to get out, you'd left his quarters to find your own. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, so I hope you enjoy this. A while ago I got a request for some smut with Hux, so be expecting that in the next chapters. As always I truly appreciate your kind words and kudos, thank you all for the support.


	18. The General

"Fuck sake, why does he never let me in. I can't do anything right. I can't be nothing..." you faded your voice to a whisper as you charged through the corridors like there was no tomorrow, "...but a fuck toy. Does he despise me, my body is the only thing that makes me worth while? Stupid how I could think comforting him would make things better...no it made things worse...stupid...stupid...stupid..." you quickened your pace, "I could show him I could make the General fuck me see how he'd like that see how he'd like those projections! Fuck!" 

You were full on marching through the corridors now about to enter the clearing where you and Lucia usually met in the mornings for work. Without having looked up to see where you were going once you bumped into someone quite nearly knocking them over, but you grabbed their arm before they slipped through your grasp.

Eyes shooting up to meet there's, "oh Lucia..."

"____!" She threw her arms around you, the welcoming seeming so strange a show of genuine affection.

"Hey..." you squeaked as she squeezed you a little tighter than you were comfortable with.

"___, where have you been?" Lucia chirped as she released you. 

"I've just been...well actually no it doesn't matter where I've been. You wanted to talk right? It seemed important?" You said wanting away from the subject of Kylo.

"So you're a Force user...I...admittedly I didn't see that coming..." her voice barely above a whisper as she shuffled from one foot to the other. Was she intimated by you?

"Yes...it wasn't something I wanted to share." You sighed trying to look anywhere but her direction.

"Understandably...the General came to see me today. He seemed...angry."

"Angry," you repeated and then realised how sarcastic you'd sounded, "angry yes..he was...I was supposed to be with the Commander..."

"Oh I see. Special treatment now huh?" She smiled and jabbed you in the side but although meant it jest it just made you feel even more shitty. 

"Yeah I guess you could call it that."

"So...I actually...I actually have a confession...I've been putting it off....I mean I was going to write it..say it...call by late last night....it's not something I did intentionally I promise...I wouldn't...it's not..."

You stopped her gibberish before it got any worse, "Lu I'm sure that whatever it is. Doesn't matter now."

"No please it really does. It's been playing on my mind. It's Darius you see. He threaten me, he asked me to...well.."

"Lucia what are you talking about?" Your tone turned from uncomfortable to seriously concerned.

"It's my fault he did that to you. He made me ask you to go to the Command Shuttle that night. I didn't have a choice he was going to-"

You felt your face turn the colour of crimson, felt your eyes burn with threatening tears, felt your jaw tighten and your teeth clench.

"I see." Was all you managed before you shrugged away from her approaching hug.

"___? It wasn't I'm..." she cried before tears streamed down her eyes. 

"You'd have let him rape me?" You couldn't even comprehend why you were asking such a stupid question to the one person you thought you could call a friend on the entire ship. 

That confirmed it in your mind. How to get back to the two people you'd tried to learn to love, the two people who'd thrown everything back in your face. 

You were going to the Generals office and nothing was going to stop you. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well looks like you hate everyone! You guys shouldn't let this consume you :P It will only end badly!
> 
> I know it's short but next Chapter will be longer. Thanks again!


	19. Revenge

The more you thought about the first time Hux had kissed you the more the idea of begging him to fuck you seemed less bad. 

You wrapped your fingers into a fist and knocked on his door. 

One, two, three seconds went by before the door hissed open and slid to the side. 

You took in a deep breath, you'd hoped Kylo was still sulking so he hadn't caught into the fact you'd ended up in the General's office. 

"What do you want now?" Hux asked as you slid into the room, he closed the door behind you. 

"I came to apologise," the words came naturally to you like you were so happy about the whole revenge idea.

"Oh really? Well get on with it, I do have a..." 

"Schedule to uphold. Yes I know. If you'd just hear me out." 

"Is Ren boring you that much you need to come to me for entertainment ___?" Hux sighed he'd not looked up to you once scribbling wildly on some paper in front of him.  

"Hux please...I'm sorry Kylo gave you trouble this morning...I've had...I've had other things on my mind..." you swallowed, now wasn't the time to be shy.

"Other things?" 

"Do you remember...when you..." you paused hopeful he'd catch on. 

"I do a lot of things daily ___ please out with it..." he pressed really hard on his pen this time and you could tell he was writing nothing coherent.

"Hux..." he slammed the pen on top of the paper. 

Sighing exasperated he looked at you his green eyes looking more tired than you'd ever seen. Maybe he needed this too, "go ahead you have my full attention."

"The time when you kissed me...I can't get it off my mind..."

"Oh is that right kitten, is Kylo not giving you enough attention?" He advanced on you moving from his desk. 

"N...no...he's not..." you weren't entirely lying.

"I can assist with that my dear...if you'll let me of course.." he was watching you squirm and he loved it.

"Yes...I'll..I'll let you I'm yours." You said your voice shaking he seemed less dominant than Kylo but he certainly wasn't any less kinky. 

"Oh so not only do you come here and let me have you. You're mine? Hmm kitten?" He purred as he reached your back. 

His hands reached for yours he eased them to your back all his movements slow and gentle, "I'll try to not make you regret that...but if I'm in charge. I better make sure you can't use the Force on me...hadn't I?" 

He tugged on your wrists he had held in his grasp behind you, "hadn't I?"

"Yes General," you fumbled. You wasn't used to such dedicate-dominating, as you'd decided to call it.

"Good girl. Take your clothes off for me first. All of them." He said as he walked back over to his desk he pushed a button which you assumed was the door lock and then he walked back to you. You'd undressed and held your hands over your breasts your legs crossed. Never having felt so exposed willingly. 

"Look at you, beautiful. Beautiful and all mine hmm?" He smiled at you tracing over every aspect of your figure.

"Yes General." The word beautiful like syrup had Kylo ever even called you that, you couldn't recall. If he had it hadn't stuck to memory not like this. 

"So obedient for her Master hmm? Well good girls get rewards." He made his way to your back once more taking your hands off your breasts and holding them against the small of your back.

"Relax for me kitten. I won't hurt you..." he cooed in your ear as he attached something cold and metal to your left wrist the other to your right. A little more glamorous than hand cuffs but hand cuffs nonetheless. 

He came back around to your front to admire you one last time before taking your face in his hands and kissing you. His lips were soft accompanied by the taste of peppermint you kissed him back as best as you could with no hands free, he smiled in approval. Tugging your hair as his hands reached the back of your neck. 

Next his tongue was moving freely in and out of your mouth, your own tongue following his lead. He was finding a gentle rhythm on your hair tugging and massaging it. You hummed your approval into his mouth. 

Too quickly the welcome warmth of his body against yours was gone as he drew his lips back and looked you in the eyes, "stay here..." 

Then he was back at his desk, his hands full of things you weren't quite sure you believed. First to leave the pile was a velvet blindfold his cold fingers pulling it across your eyes and tying the back in a tight knot. 

"G...General.." you stuttered, unsure as to how far he would take it. He couldn't read your thoughts like Kylo he wouldn't know when enough was enough.

Your heart was pounding waiting for his next move.

"Shhh...." he said as he traced a line of kissed down your spine, "come here."

He took your hands and guided you to a stool, pushing your chest over it so your ass was exposed to him. You shivered goose bumps littering your entire body. 

"Such on obedient little girl..." he laughed as he traced two fingers down your back all the way down, until he reached your pussy. 

He dipped two fingers in with ease, "does he do this to you kitten? Can he make you as wet as I can?" 

 _Admittedly yes_ , you thought as you shuddered for him to move.

"Tell master what you want ___," you could tell he was smirking a side to him you weren't sure you really understood. It was nothing like his stern demeanour. 

Curious.

Your heart was pounding in your chest, too stubborn to say anything more. You hadn't really anticipated you liking this revenge fuck so much.

"Are you going to behave? What do you want kitten?"

You'd decided to test him you wanted to see if he'd dominate you, test his limits.

"No? Bad choice dear.." he said pulling his hand away from you. You whined as the cold air came back to your wetness, making the need for him worse.

"Seen as you wouldn't tell me what you wanted I think I'll have my fun else where," his voice was sinister and you knew exactly what he meant.  You squirmed out of his grasp but only for a few seconds before he was pinning you again, your chest pressed against the cold leather on top of the stool you imagined you must have been on. 

Hux was using some form of lubricant on your ass making sure it was wet enough before he slid a finger in you. The change of place a shock to your system, "General please no no.  I'll behave I promise..." you gulped as he moved it around inside you. 

He'd only reached the first knuckle on his finger. Easing you open slowly and gently. After he'd moved back and forth several times he pushed it further until you felt the base of it, his other digits unconsciously stroking across your ass cheeks as he moved in and out. 

You sighed relaxing into him letting his finger move with more ease now. 

"Do you like it kitten?" 

"Yes General..." you hummed as he moved it more vigorously inside you. 

"Good girl. Stay nice and relaxed for me," he cooed as he pulled it out all the way. You missed the friction, the small scrap of pleasure he'd allowed you. But you hadn't missed it long before he was stretching you again filling you to the hilt. 

Despite him being in your ass you knew he wasnt as big as Kylo, yet still big enough to need to accommodate him before he started a pace in you.

At least he had the decency for that.

Soon he started to rock back and forth slowly, a whole knew level of pleasure building in your stomach, "so tight ____, do you like it? Hmm are you enjoying having your General's cock in your ass?" 

"Fuck yes. I...need you to..." you cursed before regaining your shyness. This was the second time you'd done anything like this and the first time you hadn't remembered to fondly. 

You waited for his permission to continue your sentence.

"Do you want your General to fuck you faster?" 

Not even needing the Force to read your thoughts you moaned at his nonchalant demeanour.

"Um...I..." you dropped your shyness at that point wanton need for him to up the pace taken over you, "General please fuck me harder...faster please...." you spurred. 

He obliged without another word without hesitation, his speed increased slowly until you were comfortable with the pace.

Now you were moaning, soft pleasant moans of approval filling his office, praying to god it was soundproof. Your nails were digging into your palm as you clasped them together desperate to hold on to something have some kind of balance.

"Look at you, so flithy..." Hux moaned as he started to lose his breath.

You could feel the sweat on your back, you noted how warm it was in the room. You couldn't focus needing to touch yourself needing your hands free. So used to use the Force on your clit since Kylo had shown you. But you couldn't move body fixed under his as he pushed in and out of you at speed.

"Hux I need my hands I need to cum..." you moaned as you wriggled against the stool if only to gain a little friction.

Hux didn't speak he only reached for something placing it inside your pussy and switching it on. Vibrations hummed through your body. You were so full the sensation of both at once was killing you. You was so close you could barely think straight. 

"H..Hux...I'm so close...please let me cum..." you moaned.

He pushed two digits on to you clit and rubbed gentle circles, "then cum for me...cum for your General....and say my name..."

"Hux fuck! I'm going to I'm going to...cum...Hux..." you moaned as he pushed up against your back spilling his load into you cursing your name under his breath. 

He kissed your shoulder between pants. Until his lips had moved from your left shoulder to your right, "good girl".

He pulled out of you slowly not wanting to cause you any pain and he didn't the slowness of it only prolonged your pleasure. And then he was gone from behind you and you laid there for an eternity.

First, he unbound your wrists, then removed your blind fold and lastly took the vibrator out of you leaving you twitching until your body had never felt so relaxed. 

"If you ever want me kitten you need only ask for it." He said he was fully dressed now he'd moved you so your back was against the stool your eyes meeting his.

Then he kissed you delicately, gently as though he could break you at any moment. Pulling away just as softly and you bit your lip in shyness.

"Yes General," you replied as he helped you up and held you until you'd regained balance. You walked over to your clothes and put them back on.

"But right now dear, I need to finish this..." he gestured to the paper work on his desk.

You nodded shyly and he unlocked the door, as it opened you saw Lucia her eyes still raw from crying earlier, "oh ___ I didn't expect to see you here." 

"Yes I was here on business regarding the Commander," you blushed turning back to Hux who was smirking, "thank you General."

"-__ wait..." Lucia tried calling but you'd already vanished, joy consuming you. 

Your euphoria still hadn't died down. Even as you got in bed. Even as you fell asleep, dreaming about Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this one it was certainly different! Thanks as always x


	20. Retract Your Blade

"I'm only here because I don't want the General waking me up again..." you groaned as you elbowed your way past the Commander into the dreaded room.

As you stared into the empty room you sighed, being there would surely prolong your misery. At least he hadn't caught on to your little run in with the General...yet. It felt amazing, like every thing had been cleansed. A clean slate. No more Lucia and minimal suffering by Kylo. Hopefully.

"As punishment..." he started.

"Punishment? Punishment! I'm not taking your bull shit Kylo. I'm here to learn if you can't swallow your pride for ten seconds," you paused and sighed, "look, if you don't want me to go inside your head - don't teach me how to go inside peoples heads. Your logic baffles...." 

"Go back to your quarters. I want you at the Command Shuttle in one hour..."

"But. What. Where are we going?" you scowled.

"We need more space to practice. You should know where we are going, you really are incapable of reading me when I actually want you to, aren't you girl?" he groaned.

"Fuck you Ren," you said as you stormed out of the room, out of his chambers and back to your quarters. 

~~~

Sweat poured off every inch of you. You'd packed for cold wet bitter rain, but Kylo was making you work hard. Every inch of you ached, he'd made several points to you, for you to feel it.

"Your stance girl. Wrong again. Tell me how it goes. I want to hear you say it." Kylo seethed, you'd assumed he looked as badly as you did under that mask of his.

You spat out some of the lactic acid that had built up in your throat, and turned your eyes back up to meet his. You glared, chest heaving with exertion from the sparring, where he'd nearly taken your head for an ornament. Again. 

"My weight should be on the side that's about to be attacked," you boiled trying to burn every ounce of sarcasm you'd wanted to use. You moved slightly reignited your saber and took in a deep breath. 

You knew the correct footing you'd been at this two weeks now. In your spare time, you'd bettered every aspect of your knowledge that you could, in hope that just one time you'd get to ruin him. But Kylo Ren was unpredictable, every session you'd taken with him was never like the last. His tactics didn't flow, or make sense, he was erratic, although it didn't really surprise you-his personality was just as sporadic. 

"You're doing it again." 

_Fuck you Kylo, you_are_unpredictable. Give me a break._

**Again. Battle is...**

_Unpredictable-I know. I say it in my sleep now._

He lunged forward, giving you little time to hesitate. His saber swung vertically towards you and you parried the attack with a horizontal slice. The strength of his strike had caused your whole arm to reel backwards and yet you still tried to steady it. Once you were happy with the stability you'd managed to regain, you drew the fizzling light back and rested it on your hip. 

"Do you expect to win? You're constantly defending yourself ____." He stepped to the left his pacing beginning once again as he eyed you up from head to toe.

The wind picked up at that moment a refreshing cold to the heat that still coated your exposed skin. You wiped the sweat off your brow onto your sleeve and fixed eyes on his towering frame. 

He limbered his wrist mockingly and you knew exactly that it was a reticent chiding for not doing the same after his blow. You grimaced, holding the hand opposite the one wielding the blade in front of you and widened your stance. You twisted the blade around in your hand just as you had when you'd been practising before-D...you shook the thought from your head.

 Kylo's force signature change into something that almost resembled sympathy.

It lasted seconds.

For the past hour you'd like to think you'd read your master perfectly, he was much taller than you and currently stronger, it allowed you no mercy in blocking his attacks. The pace at which he'd start them was predatory and with every blow he'd made against your own saber the sheer force of it hurt to counteract. Upon your studies of his moves you'd come to realise your agility would be your strong point. If you could dodge his more hasty attacks you could catch him with your blade: straight through the ribs.

Whether you had a death wish you wasn't sure but you were sick of defending yourself: he was right. You'd need to show him you could attack for him to stop being so impudent with you. 

How many times he'd purposely grazed your skin just to prove a point that your abdomen was always open you couldn't count on one hand, why couldn't you prove the same point to him?

He swung towards your left and you fended off his attack, causing his weapon to slide off yours with a harrowing screech.

He fixed the lifeless mask on your face now and a splitting pain erupted in your mind, you'd been doing so well at blocking him from-Hux-he hadn't gotten through your barriers the last two weeks but you'd been concentrating too much on your plan of attack. You ignored the pain and watched as Kylo twisted his blade twice in his hand, he increased the migraine he'd started and it threw you off balance on his next maneuver. 

Quickly as the migraine faded you followed suit, swinging your saber before your outstretched hand and plunging your weapon down into a vertical slice. Your mind eased, clearly he was concentrating too hard on blocking your attack or you'd finally managed to shove the unwanted attention out. 

Your blade slid down his once more, your only defence mechanism. It screeched as though in agony itself, before you had to reach your other hand to the hilt to steady it. You stopped it just before your hands hit the vents on his blade. Pricking hot pain crawled up your hands, you'd meant to find your leather gloves last night. He'd scolded you for it all morning-and though you'd asked him to give you more minutes to search for them-he'd insisted on your prompt start-"your incompetence"-"your suffering". 

 **Did I not tell you to arrive with them or don't arrive at all** _,_ he scolded _._ You'd retort but it was your concentration he was after. Despite his best intentions his "I told you so's" were just enough to spur your next attack on. 

You ground your heals into the dirt for support and grunted, rage swirling in your skull as you remembered every time he'd made you feel worthless, unworthy of your capabilities and with all the strength you'd mustered you forced his blade into the earth. The tip fizzling, cracking in an attempt to superheat heat it.

Before he had chance to right his stance, you released the blade lock you'd had on him and drew your weapon to his side, just above his belt. The eerie purple glow a warning almost, _don't do it you know he'll make you regret it._

No more hesitation, you pushed it close, watching as it snapped the threads slowly singing its way through to his bare skin.  

You looked up to him before he could stop you and said these single words. Straight to him and only him: _retract your blade, master._

His entire body was a statue awestruck at your ploy. You moved the tip of your blade up to his chin and this time spoke out loud, "don't make me ask again."

The low hum of his saber dimmed as it slid back into the handle, "good now take off your helmet..."

He didn't budge, perhaps he'd thought your threats were in vain. You used the force to help his back find the ground with a hard thud and then you fell with him; your purple blade fixed to his neck.  

"Do. It." You looked at him through the visor: eyes just catching a glimpse of his. 

He reached up to the clasps and unlatched them pushing it off to the side. 

You stared at his brown eyes studied them as he did yours. You wanted to kiss him but the taste of Hux's lips washed over yours and guilt seized up your spine. 

"Has my apprentice lost her vigour?" He spoke and you closed your eyes, retracting your saber and hooking it back on your belt.  

You stopped straddling him and looked down at him, "may I be excused Commander" you said through gritted teeth and when he didn't retort you made a swift departure. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this one guys, it's going to have to be another one month cliff hanger unfortunately as I have exams to study for and haven't had much time to write. Thank you for your patience! Els <3 


	21. The Past

The warm water kissed your skin. You'd been sat on the tiled floor of the showers for at least twenty minutes. 

You'd contemplated letting Kylo in to your thoughts, you'd known he'd been trying to since you'd left him in the dirt.

Although at that moment you were so deep in thought you hadn't heard someone else enter. 

"Fuck erm Commander Ren I wasn't expecting to see you..." you spluttered as you fumbled to your feet. He was staring blankly at you. You'd not had the privilege of separate showers in your new temporary accommodation and the cubicles didn't have curtains or doors. 

Kylo had known quite clearly you'd been in there and though accepting your boundaries for the past two weeks there he was stark naked, eyeing up your own body. 

"No. Which is why I'm here. You wouldn't have let me be otherwise." He said bluntly walking to his own cubicle next to yours so you were only separated by a titled wall. It covered yours barely but you could still see the majority of his chest. 

He was much more broad than Hux and more handsome...but not as...forgiving. 

"Why...erm..." you said noticing you'd been staring for the entire time he'd been there. You turned away back to your water source. Picking up a bar of soap and being extra cautious not to drop it, "why did you want to be here at the same time as me...I thought I'd made it quite clear I didn't want to be your...toy."

He chuckled turning his attention to you his eyes clearly looking over the wall, over your body. 

"You did..." he took a long pause as though the words he was about to say hurt "adequately today."

You scoffed, "adequately.." you finished with the soap. 

Placed it on the hold it had been sat on before, "adequately?" you questioned to no one in particular.

Turned off the water. 

Kylo just watched stood open mouth slightly, feeling overwhelmed by your frenzy of emotions flooding your mind. 

"If having you pinned to the floor; at my will. Is adequate, well then I bet you'd hate to see me when I'm 'good'" you huffed not looking at him once. 

 _I'll always be his_good_girl_ , you thought subconsciously as you walked to grab your towel.

Kylo snapped out of his state eyes glistening. 

He knew.

He knew you most certainly were not referring to him. 

"You hate it when he calls you good girl?" 

"I what?", back to him still.

He caught you off guard.

Shame: red creeping up all sides.

"I don't..." you said blocking Hux. _Was he really so kind? Had he really been the one getting used? Did I even like him that way? Did I let him use me? Did I love him like.._.

Kylo's eyes shot to you. Using the Force like a metal whip, coiling around your neck.

Tightening.

"You thought I wouldn't find out..." a pause fueled by his anger. Struggles to form a sentence, struggles to comprehend. 

"You thought you could hide that from...me" words like knives each one embedding into your back, no defense, no pride left, no confidence.

Tightening.

Your hands grasped at the invisible hold as though it would pry the weight off, but you couldn't see him couldn't watch his movements. 

"Helpless, silly, girl." He growled dragging you several feet back to him with ease. A smoother transition than the ones you were used to.

"You let him fuck you. You let him have his way with you? You know you were the one being used.  He's wanted you...from the day I brought yo-"

He'd turned you to face him, still suspended "HOW ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT BEN" you screamed. Curdled by the coil he had on your neck. 

You were done.

The room shook. Shower heads snapped from their hold. Pops and cracks rung all around. 

Kylo dropped you dumbfounded. 

He relieved the pressure and you sucked in oxygen until you felt nauseous.

You'd known you'd used his real name. The name his mother had gave him. You'd hoped it would wind him up further. 

"The last person who called me that...I stuck my saber through him. I watched the light leave his eyes and his still dying body fall...I watched my hands push him off the edge..." Kylo started.

Somehow he was consuming you with his projections, like maggots pushing themselves through your helpless skin. Biting their way into your flesh, burying themselves. Digging their tiny pathways into you like a walking ant hill. Entwined with Kylo, seething with Kylo.

Over and over and over he replays it for you.  His pain as he ignites the blade through his father. Over and over his eyes ingrained in his skull. Their pain and sorrow. Over and over they fall from the edge. Ray's screams, Chewbacca's screams. 

"Please Kylo. No more please. You're hurting me...please..." you mewled tears steaming down your face. But you couldn't see where you were anymore, you couldn't feel the wet tiles on your cold naked body. Couldn't see the mess that shrouded you and Kylo. Couldn't hear him. Couldn't hear yourself. 

Numbness was all you knew. Numbness and pain. No longer his, no longer your own.

"You think you know pain...Kylo you no nothing...you don't know my suffering." You cried hoping he could hear. 

_..._

_"Silly child..." she hit you again._

_"It's your fault she's like this..." he spat, "she's not mine. I know that much."_

_"She is yours that's why you get to beat her," she said hitting you harder._

_"I didn't fuck you to make a play thing Dolores, I fucked you to make a boy. Which she clearly is not." He turned to face the door._

_"I tried to be a good for you father. I tried to work hard for you, hunt for you..." you spoke for the first time blood dropping from your mouth._

_"You'll never be a help stupid girl, only men can fight and steal and make a living in this shit tip we call a home. I should have killed you when I had the chance. Stuck a pin through your pathetic tiny heart. You've always been just another mouth to feed," your dad said turning to face you._

_"So you come here everyday and beat me, for what? I have told you, I'll just leave you. I've told you so many times I don't want to be here. Just let me go-or let me die. If it's what you crave so much why don't you do it." you spat the rest of the blood from your mouth and locked eyes with his._

_"She's probably right dear. I could do it if you liked." your mother said gearing for another blow._

_"Wait what-" you butted in._

_"Fine have your fun with her. It's not like I have any use for her now. I needed a son to take me away from here....Daniel once my wife kills our daughter.." you could hear the rest but you were pretty sure your mother couldn't, she was too fixated on you in the chair. Bound at your ankles, bound at your wrists._

_Your father left and the door locked. Your mum pulled a knife from her dress._

_"I've dreamed of the day that man would let me beat you more than a few broken bones," she taunted eyeing her blade. It was shiny and you saw her reflection in it._

_"You shouldn't have let him do that," you snickered._

_"What?" Your mother growled._

_"Lock the door." you smirked looking her dead on._

_"You think you scare me? You're so pathetic, sometimes I wonder if the nurse swapped you at birth."_

_A long pause as you eyed one another, "wouldn't it be more fun to kill me if I wasn't so helpless. If you watch my attempts to put up a fight?"_

_"How many times have you ran away from us, you always end up back here, too weak-,"_

_"So you_are_scared then?" you smiled at her._

_She hesitated and then walked to you, cutting the rope at your feet then the rope at your back unbinding your hands. Then the blade was on your throat, "does this feel better?"  
_

_"Much" you said stretching your arms, "I would like to say though, before you kill me. There's a reason I keep coming back here."_

_"Because we drag you back here..." she sighed impatient._

_"Hmm not quite..." you paused, "I've been waiting for this moment my entire life," and with those words you launched her body to the brick wall using the Force._

_Standing up for the first time you clicked your neck from side to side, "How many times did you hit me was it? You always did ask me to count mother. Let's see...just today you hit me twenty-nine times. You've broken....seven of my fingers. You've given me one hundred plus bruises-in ten years, since I was only 6...if you only hit me once a day that's three-thousand-six-hundred-and-fifty times..."_

_"Oh darling, it's...it was never me it's your dad he'd beat me if I didn't..." she writhed eyes wild with fear, people didn't have the Force anymore it was gone. She was petrified of you, she barely comprehended what was happening._

_You plucked the knife from her hands, "pretty knife..." a pause "thing is...even if that was true, and he did..I'd still say good-"_

_"Tell your father you have the Force. If you tell him I'm more than sure he'd let you live...." she cried._

_"I'm more than sure he would..." you chuckled, "but you," you pointed the knife you'd been studying at her, "he doesn't want you."_

_Another pause, "so I'd like you to count for me. How many stabs it will take before your body let's you die." you smirked again._

_~_

_"What are we on now mother. Are you still counting for me? Count out loud."_

_"Thirty..Thirt.." she wheezed._

_"Thirty what?" You taunted twisting the blade into her thigh._

_"Thirty one..." she spluttered._

_"You never were as strong as me..." you pulled the blade out and then went for her heart to end it._

_You stopped, sighed, turned to leave, but then the sheer amount of blood hit you. Covering her, covering you._

_Her eyes still open, her body mutilated._

_Blood_.

_Everywhere._

_...._

"Kylo...ple-" you'd taken all your strength to project that to him, but your senses were still numb.  

"I didn't know..." Kylo said as he pulled you out of the blackness, but something wasn't right.

You looked down at the ground, the water around you was slightly diluted with blood. You felt lightheaded. Woozy.

_No one knew of that..no one._

_No one._

_No one._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I know it's been a super long time. The truth is I got writers block and felt a little downhearted, but I have fell back in love with Kylo and I've had some help with some story ideas for my boyfriend. He's helped me see where I want this to go. 
> 
> I will do my best to post weekly as I did before. However, things are really tough for me at work and college at the minute. I am finding studying a lot harder than I have in previous years, so I need to be sure to keep on top of that too.
> 
>  As always thank you for your support, your reads. Your kind comments and every kudos you put on here. It honestly means the world to me that you enjoy reading my stories so much. Writing fanfic's are a pastime for me, something I do when I'm bored or lonely. To see that you love reading my boredom so much is amazing ;)  
> 
> Love Els x


	22. Force Bond

Your eyes blinked open, "ugh my head."

"Easy...____..easy" a muffled voice spoke.

"Where am I?" you managed.

"Well you're...well...you.."

"Kylo?"

"I was worried about you..."

"You were..." you swallowed the lump in your throat.."worried about me?"

"I couldn't just take you back to your own quarters..." he spoke at which moment your eyes adjusted and you saw you were in his quarters but back on the Finalizer?

"How did you get me here, without medical...trying to-"

"I was due back here, I have been summoned to speak with Snoke on your progress..."

"What happened to me.."

"To us...____ we, well I...we.."

"Kylo what's happened, what's wrong.."

"A Force bond..."  **You're mine.**

You starred at him, eyes glossy and curious.

"Rest, I need to go," he said pacing from the room.

_Oh god. He. I'm...oh god._

_..._

You'd fallen back to sleep, waking up never sure if it was day or night in space. Day you assumed. Early morning, you'd agreed with yourself on. You'd had the best sleep you think you'd ever had since being on the Finalizer, the best sleep you'd had in quite some time you thought to yourself.

"I don't suppose the Finalizer has a library?" you asked no one in particular, "you know it would be super helpful to know what on earth he was on about? Force bond? Does that mean I can..." you shook the thoughts from your mind.

You missed books, music, art. You'd always prided yourself on your creativity, made a point that you'd make your saber like no one had ever seen. Too bad Kylo took care of that for you, it had always bugged you, it wasn't supposed to behave like it did.

_Idiot._

"I wonder where he put it?" You sprung out of bed noticed you were fully dressed, hadn't you once been naked? The thought didn't matter, Kylo must have dressed you in your earlier state, I mean was he not indebted to you now he'd 'bonded' with you. Well in more way than one, you thought.

Your memories of your childhood still burned in the back of your mind, a flame that never truly diminished, always there, always alight. However you'd long since forgotten about it, unearthing it for Kylo didn't make a difference to you, it was shown to him, it was gone again for you. Just the candle burning dim at the back of your mind, like usual.

You scanned the room, nothing was jumping out. Perhaps you'd half expected an obedient little dog to come bounding over, in the shape of your saber. Or even a small key that fit nicely in your palm at all times, upon pressing it's dazzling red button an alarm sounds to locate the thing.

Something however did catch your attention, on one of Kylo's side tables your gloves had been left.

_Prick. Always have to one up me don't you? How did he even find them?_

You sighed picking them up, should you take them back to your quarters? Half of you wanted to leave Kylo's oppressive bedroom, half of you wanted to stay and sleep while you could and some how the half that wanted to sleep was itching for you to also make yourself cum as part of the process. Kylo popped into your mind. His features, his hair just covering his left eye as he said those words to you. Words only you could hear, yet his voice. Clear and dripping with wanton 'you're mine' it was enough to paralyse you.

"Back to bed then back to bed..." you cleared your throat. Getting comfy once more.

...

You moaned, _perhaps I should stop._

_Kylo will kill me._

_But I'm so close._

_I should stop._

Yet despite your mantra you couldn't stop the movements you'd started on your clit.

_Ugh imagine his mouth on it bringing me over the edge._

_His fingers inside me._

_I should stop._

_I wanted him in the showers, I wanted to push his shoulders down so he'd get on his knees and he wouldn't resist._

_"Is your tongue as skilled as your fighting against your own apprentice?" I'd say._

_He'd shove said tongue against my clit and lick gentle bands across it. His eyes on mine as he does so, using his hands to rest on my thighs to steady me against him. He'd work me into a soft rhythm, before his tongue swirls around it._

You increased you speed on your clit imagining it was his tongue: his mouth.

_I'd push my hips forward seek more friction and he wouldn't have held back, taking my clit into his mouth and sucking._

_Fuck, his perfect teeth grazing it._

Bursts of pleasure pulsed through you starting at your clit and reaching your fingers.

You could imagine burying them in his hair, feeling each silky lock. Pleasure was reaching your head now, you tilt it back in delight, about to wipe out your senses entirely. Legs buckling under the pressure of your building orgasm.

_He'd stop his tongue working on my clit but he'd keep the pressure there taken over by the Force. His tongue would eagerly dip in and out...._

Your fingers were motioning the moves you imagined him using. Your pussy no doubt dripping all over his sheets.

You snapped from your day dream for mere seconds:

_I should stop_

-before your visions of him started again.

_"Too easy" he'd say in that sarcastic voice._

Your visions you'd conjured to reach euphoria seemed so realistic. Your personal accolade to his likeness and yet even in your visions he was right; but it wouldn't stop you now. One final thrust of your fingers and Kylo's face ricocheted through every muscle as your self inflicted orgasm shook through you.

_Oh fuck Kylo...fuck._

Body-twitching, thighs-tightening.

Imagining how they would hold his face beneath you in place. Your eyes would open to see his still closed. His Force signature all around you reveling in the taste of you. Aftermath of your orgasm. Fingers sewn through his hair-to steady your trembling frame, as he gathers as much of your cum as he could and swallows.

**"May I be excused Supreme Leader"**

"Ugh what? Hello did someone say something?" you could have sworn that was Kylo's voice. It sounded so close, "I think I came so hard I've gone insane" you said to yourself as you let yourself come back to reality.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what stupid thing happened to me! My ear drum burst I'm so fucking deaf right now. In bed feel like I'm dying both my ears are kaput. So just healing and I thought hmm why not edit that chapter I wrote. So here you go guys. Here's to my ears healing...ugh literally feel like I'm falling apart. On the plus side my antibiotics taste like white chocolate either that or I've gone delusional from being cooped up in bed so long...Tis a sad day :'( 
> 
> Anyways that's my sop story over with, hope you like the chapter! As always thanks for the comments and kudos it really means a lot! Els x


	23. Ben Solo

The door to Kylo's quarters slid open, it seemed somewhat aggressive; if a door could slid open aggressively. Your daze cleared and you rubbed your eyes, noticing the state of his sheets.

_Oh shit_

On that thought Kylo burst into the room, like he'd ran one thousand miles to be with you. 

"Erm...Commander?" you gawked at him his muscles tightening in his arms as he balled his fists like he usually did. You scanned down his body and noticed something you hadn't before, his quite evident need for...release.

He persuaded his helmet of his head, his hair a sticky mess on top, sweat quite literally covering his face. His pale skin a bright red, jaw clenching. His stare maddening. 

"Do you realise what you just put me through? Do you understand what a Force bond is! ___ you can't project things like that..." he trailed off his erection bobbing under those dark layers of fabric.

A hot pink flush filled your cheeks and you made extra effort to cover the wet patch you'd made, without seeming too obvious, "I'm not quite sure what you mean Kylo..." You pulled your hair into a pony tail and secured it with the bobble you always left on your wrist. 

"I'm serious....Snoke can't know about the things we've done..." he was still so serious, like his need for you wasn't the most evident thing in the entire room.

"Serious?" You mocked crawling down the bed until you were at the exact height of his cock. You gingerly approached the black mass, pulling some to the side until you reached his trousers. 

"You can't just..." 

 _But Ben...I'm yours remember?_ You thought as you shucked his cock free from its restraints.

**Ugh...____...**

_What was that? I can't just...just do this?_ You ask him pushing your lips either side of his head. He was far too needy for his own ego to take charge this time. He'd obey if only you give him release.

You parted them further taking a further few inch, a little further and you were half way. You relaxed your throat fully and took his whole length. You moved back slowly pulling off with an audible pop and then you were back on him. 

"If you're going to suck it, don't make me wait. You have other holes I can fill" he growled as he looked down at you, yet he lacked his usual conviction

 _Whatever you want Ben_...you thought locking eyes with him. You leaned forward again and inhaled his entire length.

He threw his head back grunted loudly, you allowed yourself a smug smile at the base of his thick cock. You left him buried deep as you flicked the tip of your tongue over his balls. Kylo moaned again and grabbed the sides your head to pull you deeper, you bit down to punish him before he threw his hands away.

 He cried out in pain before groaning in pleasure again as you pulled all the way off him and then took him all back in.  You could hear him moaning in ecstasy, both in and out of your head while you rubbed your tongue over his tip and tugged his thick shaft. You felt him stiffen further, his cock like diamond in your hand.  You went for the kill.  Kylo was still lost in pleasure: you moved up and down his cock, throating him faster and faster. 

Your throat gurgled and his knees buckled. With a final grunt of pleasure, he shot rope after rope of cum down your throat.  You smiled, looked up in victory as it ran into your stomach.  Spent arms shaking Kylo staggered back, gasping for a rest. If you'd thought he was sweaty before he looked as though he'd been locked out in the rain. His head was pushed against the metal, hands gripping at the fabric on his thighs. 

He was still panting when he spoke, "I like it when you call me that."

"And here's me thinking it winds you up..." you smirk licking your lip, "what are we learning today Master Ren?" 

"Supreme leader has given me some time to work out why we...I force bonded to you. But I think I just figured it out..." Kylo said freeing himself of the rest of him clothes. 

You watched intently as he walked towards his bed, arms falling on your abs as he reached you. He pulled your t-shirt off your body and left you naked in his presence. 

You bit your lip half expecting him to ravage you and leave like he tended to do, but he grabbed your waist instead flipping you so your back was flush against his chest and then he threw the duvet across you. You were quite happy you had left your wet mess on top of his sheets and not underneath. 

"K..Kylo?" You muttered a little surprised by his gentle approach. 

"You know I haven't slept for a long time...I have nightmares," he paused like he wished he hadn't have let that slip, "or I'm always needed to fix something that Hux breaks...or I'm needed with Snoke or on some other planet..." 

He was talking to you, like real actual conversation. You felt bewildered, you'd waited for this moment what felt like, your entire life of knowing him, and yet you weren't quite sure what to say.

"You don't have to say anything..." he half chuckled tracing circles on your stomach. 

"Now that you *ahem* force bonded with me can you hear everything I'm saying...." you swallowed. 

"Everything.." he whispered in your ear gruffly. 

_I'm going to have so much fun._

"Do you really think?" He scoffed rolling you onto your back.

"Well Commander if you're always so busy so needed, think about how many times I can make it feel like I'm sucking you off when Hux is watching," you smirked pushing him onto his back and laying on his chest. 

He regarded your affection for a moment before he placed his palm around your neck, a warning. 

"If you do that again, if you make me cum in front of the General, you better be ready for the consequence." 

"Somehow I don't seem phased by the matter," you looked at him, eyes glistening with mischief. 

Then he took you by surprise, locking his lips with yours twisting his torso so he was above you pining your chest against his. His hand moved from your neck and tangled in your hair eliciting a moan from you. He deepened the kiss but kept the slow pace as you reached your own fingers up to graze his cheek and run your thumb along his jawline before planting them firmly in his hair. It was his turn to groan: he liked it. 

You began massaging patterns in his hair until your fingers were lost in a mass of dark curls, he quickened the kiss and soon his tongue was fighting for entrance. You didn't deny him only revelled in the pleasure he supplied.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a long time coming but unfortunately I failed my most recent exam so have been focusing on not failing my next one (Thursday this week).
> 
> My boyfriend and I have also been figuring out a place to live as he is being asked to move out of his parents home. Everything is a bit hectic as of late.
> 
> I hope you like this chapter however and I will do my best to keep updating as and when I can.
> 
> Thanks everyone!
> 
> Els x


	24. Kitten

_I have to find Hux, I have to tell him...that..well I don't want...ugh...why.._  
  
You said stumbling your way through the Finalizer 

You'd left Kylo to sleep having slipped out to shower, dress and wander like a lost child to find Hux. 

...

You wrapped your fingers into a fist, "what do you mean you want nothing to do with me anymore? You're the one who...I want to say helped me with the stuff that happened to my brother, I gave you my..." an angry pause came as you withdrew your hand from the door; Hux's door.

"Hux I gave you my virginity you...it's so trivial in the grand scale of things...I...I realise but you said you loved me. What changed?" You'd snapped out of your own woes listening intently, reality washed over you.  

"There's someone else," Hux said exasperated.

"What! Who?!" Lucia was practically screaming at this point and a few other people had turned their attention to the room.  You swivelled on your heel and took a seat against the wall of his office, choosing to look at your hands rather than anyone else gawking at the door.

"Get out! Lucia out!" Hux said pressing his door button.

"Fuck you!" She snapped as she walked through the threshold.

"You really shouldn't have said that," Hux seethed through gritted teeth, and by this point everyone was starring, if not forming a sort of circle around the outburst. 

Your eyes wandered to Lucia for the first time and you immediately regretted it locking eyes with her blood shot ones, her whole face raw from the tears she'd no doubt cried. 

"Don't you all have jobs to be doing?" Hux shouted to the watchers around you and quietly people shuffled back to desks or hallways, you included. As you passed Lucia who seemed suspended in time, frozen, eyes just following you like a scary picture.

"Kitten" Hux stopped you dead in your tracks now too, although barely above a whisper you heard it, perhaps Lucia did too perhaps she didn't. 

"You" was all she managed as she'd come to realise the other woman. She took a step forward, having seemed so calm since she'd made it out of his office, and she was boiling again, like the switch on the kettle had been flicked.

Time slowed down and you could feel her ultimate attack on you coming. You swung around to face her as she simultaneously reached out to grab you, the expression plastered on her face that of a murderer.

You used the Force to freeze her to the spot her outstretched limbs still in mid-grasp too, "let's not do anything we'd regret Lu" you hated it. You hated that Hux had fucked you so nonchalantly knowing full well Lucia loved him, you wanted to kill the bastard and felt nothing but sorrow towards Lucia.

"Don't you fucking talk to me," she growled the strain on her trying to escape you taking its toll on her as she lost her breath. 

You pleaded with your eyes not for her to take it further, "I didn't know" you mouthed loosening the Force hold on her. 

She took this advantage and ripped entirely out of your hold in seconds pinning you to the floor her fist flying towards your face. You winced things happening all too quickly to keep on top of head spinning as her thoughts came flying at you in all directions. 

**I'm carrying his fucking child you piece of shit. I'm going to kill you I'm going to fucking kill you.**

You dodged another punch before she hit you with her other fist, feeling the pain of her blow this time enough was enough. You froze her still and made her black out as Kylo had previously done in Hux's office, her limp body collapsing on you. 

"Fucker," you growled standing to your feet and rubbing your face where she'd managed to punch you. She wasn't a strong woman you'd thought, until her fist had connected with your face, she must have been mad. 

"Help me get her in your office," you said piercing Hux with your gaze.

"The guards can take her, I want her disposing of," Hux said turning to walk into his office alone. 

"Hux I can make you suffer in front of all these people, I can ruin your reputation in thirty seconds, she's coming in your office," you said below a whisper as you pushed minor pain through his skull.

You reached down to pick Lucia up and carried her into his room. Whether people had been too afraid to look back in Hux's general direction or didn't want to risk being fired or worse, people had stopped starring and a strange silence hung over the air.

Hux shut the door, "this better be good." 

"Let's pretend I didn't hear any of your conversation before she found out we'd fucked and nearly tried to kill me. You didn't get her off me nor did you fucking tell me you'd been seeing her, so yes it is a very fucking good!" You shouted placing her down on his couch of sorts. 

"Don't you fucking come near me again, you can sort her out too on your own, because I'm not getting involved in the news she needs to tell you." 

"What?" Hux said his voice showing the making of genuine concern.

"Not. Getting. Involved." You reiterated 

"Why were you at my door, if you were in fact, not getting involved?" Hux asked.

"To tell you that. What happened the last time I was here...was a mistake. I don't want to be involved in....with you...in that...sense..." you managed.

"A mistake?" Hux seethed 

**Stupid both of them. If she thinks just because she brought an unconscious Lucia in here I'm going to do any more than I was before she's so wrong.**

Hearing his thoughts just made you more and more angrier, "Mistake...what are you not getting?"

"You're telling me you didn't enjoy what we had?" 

**Bitch, she thinks she can just tell me that and leave. Without punishment. Like her and Lucia are some kind of higher authority than myself?!**

You rolled your eyes, "you fucked me up the ass and it's only because I wanted revenge on Kylo and Lucia in the first place!" 

Verbal diarrhoea.

"What...You used me...and you knew she liked me...at the very least otherwise, how could you have seen that as revenge on her...and for what? What did she do to you?" His eyes fell on her sleeping body, and you could see the mental strain it had on him for all the cogs to tick into place. 

You shrugged wanting to just leave. Leave or be swallowed by the floor. Warm metal arms scooping you into their cold centre from below. Swallowed alive by liquid mercury.

"Fair. I didn't tell you about Lucia, but you knew. So let that slide. But Kylo? Why should Kylo be jealous of what we did hmm?" He raised an eyebrow.

...

The door slid open behind you after what seemed a lifetime of silence. Kylo waltzed in the room and stood in front of you protectively, but didn't give you any recognition that he was there to help.

"What's happening?" The alien voice of his helmet which you hadn't heard in so long spoke.

"You're fucking her aren't you Ren" Hux smirked

"I'm..." Kylo tried. 

"Does Snoke know?" His smile grew wider.

Kylo's Force signature made you feel as though he wanted to punch you through the wall.

"What makes you think I'd fuck her?" He said as monotone as ever. He sounded so convincing it almost hurt.

**Kitten.**

"I don't hear you clearing the air here?" Hux said as his eyes trailed to you. 

"I wanted..." a pause as if those five seconds of silence would give you the best excuse story you could ever conjure, "I wanted..Kylo...." you fumbled and quickly continued talking without pause for breath, "past tense...wanted me and the Commander...the Commander and I. Well we...he didn't..we never was...I thought if you....then he might...find me....more desirable."

That horrible sarcastic static sound emanated from Kylo's mask, "you thought I'd want to fuck you? You can barely use the Force right. What makes you think you could handle me...Hux maybe" he taunted Hux for a second before getting back to insulting you, "you're so pathetic. How many times do I have to tell you? You're nothing but a plaything to me, Snoke wants you training but you're about as good as a trooper," another chiding for Hux before he was back again, "get the things you came back for and be at the Command Shuttle in half an hour. We're leaving for more practice you'll never grasp." Kylo came to the end of his rant and without comprehending his meaning your eyes began to water.

"Yes Commander," you sobbed as he pushed you against the wall with the Force, "what have I told you about crying?"

Your sniffles subsided and you was left with pain. 

This felt real.

You nodded and he released you. 

"What ___ meant by Lucia. She's pregnant," Hux fell opened mouthed and waited for anyone other than himself to talk, "don't accuse me again." Kylo said sternly before turning to leave with you. Nice, obedient, little, you in tow.  

"Looks like you have your training cut out for you with her Ren," Hux said.

Kylo's body was rigid before his palm collided with your cheek.

"You aren't supposed to be here in the first place, you're supposed to be in your quarters. Stop meddling in things you have no involvement in. We leave for training soon and your insolence will cost you."

"So obedient for him hmm ____? Sure you still don't want to fuck him?" Hux just drove the knife a little further into you.  

"Don't fuc-" you resisted the urge to throw him up against the wall but Kylo pushed pain through your skull, "sorry for inconveniencing you General, if I may leave now?" 

You were so embarrassed how could Kylo do that to you? He had supposed to have force bonded with you felt everything you did. Heard everything you said and thought. Did sweet Kylo only last ten minutes after you suck his dick? You cheeks stung from Lucia and Kylo's hits. Perhaps it was an act and he didn't want Hux to find out, but that made it okay to humiliate you? Put you through all that? 

You didn't think so.

 **Thank you,** you heard as you left the room. It was Lucia projecting to you, she'd regained consciousness a lot earlier and kept quiet through the whole thing. **I'm sorry for everything, now you know why I had to let Darius meet you there. He knew about me and Hux and..and..I didn't know he was capable of-**. 

"No one did. You were the only friend I had. Good luck," you sighed as you paced from the room: demoralised. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see again. However another exam down (passing it is the hard part I don't know if I've conquered yet though). Hope you like this chapter. Kylo doesn't do sweet and Hux doesn't do anything. He's 100% robot and Kylo is just a grumpy emo hahaha. Hope you enjoyed this one. Already got my story line for the next chapter but it'll unfortunately be as long as this one took, most likely. I'm sorry. Honestly though those of you who always comment/always read/always vote are so wonderful you mean the world to me.
> 
> Love always Els x


	25. Sumi

"I want to go home I want to go home," you said through gritted teeth, trying to choke back the tears, "I am never going to be loved by-" 

"Excuse me Miss but I couldn't help but notice...Miss..." someone called out to you from behind. 

You continued on your path to subservience.

"Miss please..." she called again. 

"Yes..." your eyes scanned down to her name tag, "Sumi?" You said rolling your eyes until you looked up to face her. 

She had black hair that she had neatly curled up into a bun high on her head. Her bright shiny eyes looking into yours. Her face was kind and friendly, you almost felt guilty for walking away at first.

"Yes, well I just. I noticed you were crying. I thought you might like a tissue.." 

"Huh? Oh. Well-" you muddled as she ducked her hand into her shirt pocket and outstretched it to yours, "thanks." 

You took the tissue from the packet gingerly and brought it to your face to dab away the tears. 

"That's okay Miss. Sorry to bother you. It wasn't my intention to seem forward. It's just I noticed you coming from Hux's office and well-" she paused for thought ringing her hands a bit nervous. As though she was a little scared of you, "-that was me yesterday you see. I'm supposed to be his PA but most of the time I go near him to actually do my job he near on kills me for just breathing," she half chuckled.

You smiled at her, "it's okay you've actually cheered me up. I'm sorry Hux treats you that way."

"Well the best part is I have only been here a few days. I wasn't stationed here. If he didn't want a PA why did he request one?" she gawked at you as though you held the key to her answer.

You shrugged, "Hux has a tendency to get into situations that sound (or feel) great to him at the time and then sort of (terminate) said situations" you said lowering your voice.

"Hmmm. Well it was nice to meet you..?" She sort of eyed your chest where a name tag would normally sit. 

"Oh yes. I don't have my uniform on. It's ____" you smiled.

"Nice to meet you ____," she said taking your hand for a shake.

"You too Sumi thanks for the tissue," you smiled back.

"Maybe I'll see you around? Hux said something about coming to a training camp. Not to be rude but I know you're training with the Commander. Hux said we'd be visiting you," her eyes as glistening as they first appeared.

"Oh for fuc-" you stopped mid sentence as Kylo poured down the corridor like an explosion of hot black lava.

"Miss ____ did I not give you a specific task to attend to?" the mask spoke.

"Commander sir. Please forgive Miss ____. I held her up," Sumi squeaked.

"Well then Miss Kira I suggest you stop and return to Hux's office. Is it not your job to attend to any business he needs seeing to?" You could feel Kylo's tension in and out of his head. It was so thick in that moment you felt as though you could cut it with a knife.

"Forgive me sir. But that is indeed what I am here to see ____ for. On Hux's command," she clarified.

Kylo forcefully pushed Sumi against the wall, using the force, and faced her head on. 

"Tell him. Tell the General if he goes near Miss ____ again I will personally see to it he receives all the help he desires. Until there's enough PAs in his office he no longer needs to seek my apprentices expert advice. Understood?"

"Yes Sir" Sumi whimpered. He let her go and she scurried like a little puppy back to Hux.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry I know this is as short as chapters come, but it really didn't fit into the next one, so it's a double update this week! 


	26. Winning

"Commander I need a break," you panted sweat dripping out of every pore, "we've been at this hours."

"We've been at this hours ____ because you fail to learn the lesson," Kylo although he didn't look as bad as you was also caked in sweat

The weather had been too bad to train outside today and he had insisted despite you're very long day yesterday you'd still be training today and every other day for that matter. It had been two weeks since Sumi offered you the tiniest scrap of kindness but you weren't accepting it from anyone else in The First Order.

Ever.

Kylo looked far too sexy for you to even begin to learn anything and with your lack of admiration for him since Hux's office you'd not allowed him to see you out of training. It made him more unbearable but that just fixed the doubt in your mind that you shouldn't give him another chance. 

 _It's not like he'd even made effort to apologise._  

Kylo caught on to your train of thoughts and immediately you were swept off your feet.

Your back hit the mat again and despite its presence to protect you from further injury, you'd agreed on day two it hurt as much as the dirt outside. Your body immediately leaped into action as though you hadn't been just complaining about you being at it hours.

Back on your feet you swung round to punch him.

You'd desperately wanted to: but he was too quick catching your hand in his palm and twisting it. You brought your knee up to collide with his crotch and much to his dismay you'd succeeded.

He groaned in pain and it poured into your skull too. He released the grip on your fist and you grabbed both his arms. His muscles flexed between your fingers and your heart fluttered.

_Focus._

You pushed him back to the wall and pinned him. Kylo was teaching you how to fight without using the force or your saber. He let you defend how you wanted it wasn't about throwing punches just being able to apprehend someone much stronger, taller, more muscular...

You trailed off and he kicked your legs from under you again. The second time in what felt like mere seconds. The wind was knocked from your lungs and you took some time to recover, but Kylo had already seen enough.

"Don't you learn anything I teach you?!" Kylo seethed his chest rising and falling rapidly.

He was wearing a black t-shirt and loose black trousers. You don't think you'd ever seen him so casual. You really liked it, take away the Darth Vader vibes and he was just so human you thought.

"Yes I learned you do have balls. I really wouldn't have guessed." You said remembering the time his hand had collided with your face. How he'd called you out for being incompetent in front of Hux. Even though you'd gone to him to basically declare your love for Kylo.

You understood the need to keep your "relationship" with him secret. Yet he didn't have the balls to apologise for treating you that way!

"Incompetent little girl!" Kylo growled zoning in on you again.

You scrambled to your feet and righted your stance.

The rules were clear. 

No force using; but at this point you didn't care for the Commander's dumb ass rules.

You forced him against the wall...

"Ahem" someone from behind you cleared their throat. You dropped the force hold on Kylo and turned to face your intruder.

"General," your jaw tensed.

"Don't mind me. I'm doing an inspection. I should think Snoke might like to know how you're getting on too ____" Hux agreed with himself.

Then from around the corner Sumi came buzzing, she'd clearly just been given a task which she had just come running from.

You smiled at him and noticed Kylo fixing on his saber. You pulled yours towards your hand with the force and caught it from behind, raising an eyebrow at Hux.

Your day couldn't have gotten any better at that point in time. Unbeknownst to Kylo you'd been perfecting your saber and he hadn't seen it yet and also if that wasn't satisfaction enough you now had given yourself the ability, after many late sleepless nights practising, the ability to force jump and you could do it from standing.

You smiled almost waiting for the pure sensation of absolute smugness to make it's way through you. You could feel Kylo waiting for you to turn to face him, but his impatience got the better of him.

He ran towards you igniting his saber on the way. Now was not the time to be cocky it usually backfired on you, but you were desperate for a scrap of admiration from either of the two men you'd fucked in the room. As his saber was about to plunge straight through you, you used the force to back flip over him. Landing feet firmly on the ground at his back. You grabbed the arm with out his saber and pulled it to the arch of his back. Igniting yours you bent his body so he was bowing in front of Hux. He easily swung round to meet your saber with his.

The purple beam glowed to life with a pleasant hum. Upon seeing Kylo's face was a picture, you don't think you'd ever seen him the colour of his saber and you could feel his embarrassment all around you.

Sumi was peering from behind Hux at you. A bright smile on her face.

Then it began: Kylo started to throw his usual sequential moves and you started to easily counter them.

You danced around for what seemed hours. The smell of sweat almost nauseous now as you focused all your effort into matching his skills. 

Your sabers screeched as they slid down one another before you'd draw back again and skilfully throw you blade between hands to get better vantage points. You'd forgot about anyone else in the room now it was just you and the Commander and by god you wouldn't let him win again.

You felt yourself fading not having the stamina to keep up and Kylo felt it too his smugness seeping into your mind. You knew this sequence like the back of your hand, you watched him execute it with little flaw most of time and you knew you could counter it to the end. 

You wanted to win.

A fresh burst of adrenaline rushed your system and you took a risk, you were physically exhausted from working so hard and you knew another force jump would but you out of action for good but you knew if you took the risk there was potential to win. 

_Count for me Kylo._

You thoughts left a break in his moves and you took the opportunity to graze the life side of his torso. You felt his anger rise as you focused harder. 

 _One._  

Another moment of weakness for him as you plunged for his other side, this time an audible noise of discomfort as you easily melted the cotton on his shirt open burning through flesh.

 _Can't hear you._  

You smirked looking up to meet his gaze. 

 **Two.** He grumbled his blade hissing against yours as he pushed against it with all his strength the heat so intense you felt as though you was on fire. 

He pushed your blade against your neck and you screamed half in pain half in effort to force his arms back into himself. You took all pressure off his blade and his arms reeled back to counter the lack of support on your saber. 

As he righted his stance you lunged for his shoulder and managed to cause another wound along it. 

 _Three_. 

You pushed as you force jumped over him once more this time using your momentum to force him to the ground face first. His saber flew from his grasp across the floor and slotted back to being dormant. 

"Three Commander." You cooed in his ear as you retracted the blade from his back not realising you're already started to burn away at the seams. 

"Please Hux. Please inform this mysterious Snoke of how my progress is going," you looked back at Kylo gargling frustrated moans into the mat beneath him.

"I need a shower,"  you said angrily wiping sweat from your head.

You passed Hux and Sumi and left Kylo to wallow in his self pity.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter, I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you had as much fun reading it! Thanks again all! AND AS A BONUS THE EXAM I FAILED A WHILE BACK HAS BEEN LOOKED INTO BY THE EXAM BOARD AND THEY'VE GIVEN EVERYONE 10% WHICH MEANS I PASSED WOOO AND I HAVE PASSED MY LATEST ONE! Have a good week ahead guys!!!!


	27. Apologies

You had done it. You'd finally won. You thought vigorously rubbing your legs down with a dry towel. You had felt so invigorated walking from that room and you'd felt more so after showering up. But a weakness tugged at your mind, people on the dark side couldn't afford to have weaknesses you thought.

_I made him count._

You sighed at the thought it didn't matter you won.

_It was about winning..._

More doubts flooded your mind as you dried yourself but loud grunting moans shook you out of them. The sound of Kylo you thought, you didn't need the force to feel his pain in that moment the screams were enough to do it.

_Don't.... I'm not... ugh..._

You contemplated going to peak at what was so wrong with him? Was he that miserable he'd lost he couldn't even take a shower?

You grabbed your clothes, you were leaving.

As you were about to find a cubicle to change in you heard Kylo again but this time he was sobbing and groaning frustratingly.

_Fine. One peek._

You walked back towards the shower room door wrapping and tucking your towel round you. As you glared around the corner you saw Kylo dancing his feet in and out of the steaming hot shower. He'd not stepped in yet. You watched for a while as he debated his fate, until he finally angled his back to you and you saw the deep burn you'd lacerated into his skin.

"Oh fuck" You mumbled guilt spreading up all sides. You'd known you'd caught him three times that much you made him aware of but you weren't aware it was so bad.

"Commander..." you said stepping into the room eyes glossy.

He didn't turn to face you a shadow of his self, preferring to shy away and not seem as though he'd heard, "I'm not here to gloat...let me look at that.." you said approaching him, you felt, slower than you'd ever walked before.

As you finally reached him you watched his back tense under your stares and he stood up taller. Admittedly you wouldn't have wanted to get in the shower with a burn like that, then there were the two on either of his side's which were less noticeable. You moved so you were in front of him and turned the shower control so the temperature was a lot colder: he'd appreciate that. Then you turned to face him angling your neck up to him.

His eyes darted around and avoided looking at you.

You sighed in defeat, "Remember the first time I got on The Finalizer?"

The question took him by surprise and he looked down to you, remnants of the tears he'd cried on his cheeks. You grabbed his hand so you could guide it to your neck and run his fingers along the scar there.

You raised an eyebrow at him. Using that arm and his centre of gravity you swung him all the way round so he was under the water, as soon as it hit the burns he screamed in discomfort but you held him there. The longer he spent under there the less pain flooded you both.

"___ it wasn't my...I didn't...I meant to apologise.." he fumbled and you loosened your grasp comfortable he'd stay under the streams.

"Look. Don't mention it," you said turning to leave.

"Understand this then. I was impresse-"

"You were, were you?" Your tune changed and you faced him again.

"Well I'd not even taught you th-"

"Give me a little credit Commander. You only figured out I had the force thanks to Darius and there's still a lot you don't know about me," you turned again and made it to the door before you turned back, "don't cover it if you can. I found that heals it quickly."

Then you left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is super short, but it's just for this week! I am going back to weekly chapters, as there is only three left before I finish this story. I have recently got into reading the Solo Triplets AU's and it's something I have wanted to write for ages. So once this is complete expect something a little different. Going forward the next three Wednesday's I will be uploading!
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed this so far, I have loved reading the comments and watching the kudos build up, it is such a sense of achievement for so many of you to have read this (and I hope enjoyed it). 
> 
> Thanks for sticking by me when I can't update as much as I'd like to and again sorry for the short chapter, it didn't fit into the others and I wanted it to flow right. So be ready to board the feels train because it's about to get messy!
> 
> Also writing for you guys has really helped me develop as a writer, I know reader fics are just a bit of fun but I truly love to write it is a passion of mine I am forever trying to better. I intend to take my second Kylo story a lot more seriously and try to get better at grammar and not rush so much, it doesn't help I find something knew constantly and I am like, I want to write that! Thanks Els x


	28. Beautiful

You sat on a hill, not too far from the base you'd been situated in. You'd managed to sneak a hot sandwich up with you; not having bumped into any troopers on the way. This wasn't the first time you'd made it up to the hill, the rain had stopped and the skies had cleared, giving wake to a blanket of silvery stars.

You sighed breath crystallising around you, pulling your cloak a little tighter, data pad wrapped securely inside it, your saber tucked behind that. You looked up at the stars, sighed again and then took another bite out of your sandwich, the plain taste a welcoming warmth to your stomach.

"Perhaps they don't have the men?" you asked no one in particular.

"Perhaps Jimmy J didn't really want me back, they just used him to get to me...to get to the First Order. Perhaps to them Kylo is just a pawn in something far bigger. Perhaps I am just the board the pieces play on..." you took one last bite and dusted off your gloved hands.

You pulled out your data pad, looked at the message you'd sent:

I have some information for The Resistance: come to my co-ordinates, expect Kylo and around 100 troopers.

"Perhaps I have been too blunt...naive maybe?" you said before stuffing your data pad back in your cloak.

"What have you been too blunt about?" Kylo said coming up beside you.

"Oh." you paused searching the skies again, "just talking to myself."

"Do...you..would you...mind if I...joined you?" he stumbled on his words like a nervous teen asking his long time crush to prom.

"Erm. Can't exactly say no can I?" you sighed feeling more than a little awkward.

He stopped and turned on his heel and you're not sure why or how but your own voice escaped you.

"Of course you can join me Commander, I don't own this hill" you said a slight chuckle in your tone.

"Look ____, about today...I can't...we won't." he shuffled on the spot where he'd chosen to sit next to you.

You smiled looking at the sky.

"We won't be able to train well if we don't try to right our...misunderstandi-"

"There's nothing to right. It's done." you said bluntly, wanting more than ever your rescue mission to take you away.

"I meant what I said. I want you to..." he fidgeted one more time, "fuck."

The simple profanity snapped you out of your sulking daze, and you turned to face him. Watching him remove his helmet.

"Does anyone other than me know what you look like?" you said trying to lighten the heavy mood.

He let out a breath it forming mist around him, just as yours had. A sudden coldness washing over you.

"Yes." he said plainly and then there was a comfortable pause before he continued "those who have admittedly didn't get quite so excited as you did though."

Your heart leaped to your throat and you swallowed a cough that was about to escape, "there..there's something about you...that I quite clearly..can't" you stopped the fight you were having with yourself and just let the silence fill the air. The quietness causing a surge of thoughts to wash over you, the first time you had seen him on Takodana, the time you was taken prisoner by him, the time you were released. Your heart stopped, blush creeping up your cheeks.

You chewed the inside of your cheek, pulling your hood of your cloak up over your head, "it's cold," you said to draw him away from your embarrassment., but now your mind wouldn't stop, ever sexual encounter you had had with him flowing through and pouring out into the cracks of your projections to him. You settled on the images of him first forcing his needy cock into your mouth, the taste of him washing over you tongue.

"Fuck..____..." he grumbled under his breath, you snapped out of your montage and stared at him, he'd placed both hands flat on the ground behind him, his head tilted back, cock throbbing between the fabrics that covered it. "Would you.." he paused, his tone angry, thoughts of your earlier conversation filling his head.

"Sorry...the force bond. I often forget it happened, with how despondentyou-" you remembered your place and stopped, "never mind."

"I'm not unfeeling..." he tried before he stopped fighting himself and pinned you to the floor with your arms above your head, "I can feel every emotion of yours. I felt your pride today. Your courage, your need to overthrow Hux. Your inability to stop those intoxicating thoughts..." he said between the heated trail of kisses he was leaving on your neck, "I feel how fast your heart beats when I barely touch you. I know how infatuated you are with me...."

You arched your back for him to gain more friction and he greedily tore open your shirt to carry his path downwards.

"I know how hard you're fighting your want right now. I know where you want me to put my tongue. I know how to make you squirm..." more kisses made there way over you sensitive skin, inducing goose bumps, half from the cold half from his words. 

"Give into your Commander pet..." he said sucking the skin on your chest eliciting moans from you.

"Be your Commander's good little girl" he knew that would strike a nerve in you but it did the opposite only spurred your need for him to take you more.

"Don't you think we should carry this on where it's a little warmer..." you stuttered.

"Whatever you want beautiful I'm yours."

Time froze.

You regarded his lips glued to your skin his eyes alight with passion and want.

 _Beautiful. Mine?_ Those weren't the words the Commander tended to use when describing you. Was this Ben again? Slipping through the cracks for you: breaking his facade.

You swear time slowed down more as if it was possibly as you repeated his words in your head.

"I know how... difficult I am ___ I know how annoying it is to hide our need for each other but I can't go without you like before I can't play this game anymore. Succumb to me pet and I promise I'll take care you of you."

_Take care? Okay what's happened to Kylo._

**Nothing. I can just be Ben for you.** His thoughts purred, tugging at your heart.

You knew you'd regret it you knew he'd manipulate you into ultimate submission but you don't remember the last time you had home and you don't remember anyone teaching you like he does. He's your best shot at surviving the shit and you were in the right mind to take up on it.

"Umm well Kylo..." you tried to force out coherent words but before you could the sound of x wings buzzed into the complex.

Kylo rolled off you, he'd heard them too.

 **I'm sorry beautiful but we'll have to continue this later.** He cooed as he held a hand out to pick you up. **Least you remembered your gloves.** He taunted.

You froze heart stopping, "The resistance! No shit. I..."

Kylo read your thoughts in the moment and was about to flip out when one of the familiar green beams shot in-between the middle of you: you took the opportunity to dart.

You didn't look back to steal one last glance of the man you knew you loved. Before taking to the trees you heard the helmet shout, "what have you done you conniving-!" but it was cut off as you stumbled over brambles and twigs, deep into the damp musky scent of the woods. 

You'd ran for a long time, trying to reach The Resistance, but feet failing you as you willed them to continue. The dark side was fun, addictive, however you thought perhaps that was Kylo's influence on you.  

Your dropped your data pad and ignited your saber, too afraid to face them all. The battled you'd be running from all you life, but what hurt most in that moment as you reached the edge of the forest was his robotic voice playing over in your head. 

You couldn't remember a time it had sounded so angry.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're ready to pick a side because I am not! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as I am in the middle of writing the Triplets AU I'd love to have your opinions on how you'd like it to be and if there is something specific you want from it. I'd love to hear your comments or even PM your ideas, it would really help for when I hit the inevitable writers block.


	29. I love you

_Now what am I supposed to do? Run back to the Resistance like some unsung hero?_ You argued with yourself.

_If you'd have made up your stupid fucking mind in the first place ____ none of this would have happened!_

You picked up your pace to join where the small battle had started, Kylo or someone must have called reinforcements because by the time you arrived x-wings and TIE fighters were fighting in the sky and Resistance pilots were fighting Storm Troopers on foot.

_Why did I do this?_

"____!" the familiar voice of Jimmy J shouted as he ran towards you, the man you remembered him as was less familiar now. You watched him run towards you through fights to embrace you, he'd lost a lot of weight he was: sprightly.

You recoiled from his hug, "um hey.." you shrugged not looking him in the eyes.

"What's wrong lass are you hurt?" he looked concerned turning to shoot a Trooper who had strained from their own fights.

"No, it's just this I'm not sure..." you reached into your cloak and pulled out your saber holding it by your thigh, ready to dodge any stray bullets that might find their way to you.

"Ally, I wouldn't trust her..."

"Sumi?" you and Jimmy both simultaneously asked.

"The Resistance sent me to go under cover in the First Order," she said no longer in her uniform, "originally I trusted you and heck I wanted to but I saw you on the hill-top with Kylo.."

"Sumi, that's enough, you may have sent this distress signal weeks ago and we thank you, but ____ sent one hours ago too, I am certain we can trust her now.." Leia said as she joined you, most of the battle that had gone off around you had stopped and only the planes remained firing at one another.

"I have something for you," you admitted handing Ally the data pad over, "it's disabled but if you access it's hard drive it has the tell you asked for," Leia was about to thank you but it was too late.

Kylo's force signature poured over the land making you squirm, you already needed him desperately and now he was making you want to kneel.

You had to be strong.

He entered the scene with reinforcements and it all happened too quickly for you to comprehend, it took two miss shots but before Sumi could run back to the Resistance ship Leia had come from she was shot down. She cried in pain but it was drowned out by the sound of x-wings beginning their attacks on Kylo and is army. He used his saber to dodge some random green beams that were being shot down from the skies.

Jimmy J started to pull at your arm and you half-heartily ran with him, knowing full well that you didn't belong on either side.

Everything you'd sought to avoid in life, was happening right in front of you, the battle of who gets to keep the force user in this endless pointless war.

Jimmy tripped on one of his fellow Resistance partners as people ran back to their ships, you'd lost Leia in the attack but your eyes soon found her close by your retreat party.

You felt her conscience pour over the field into Kylo's mind, wish washed into yours.

This isn't what you are son. You're so much more. Don't become like him...

You broke away from Jimmy's grasp so you could see to Leia's impending doom, no one else needed to die in this. Not his mother as well. Jimmy joined the others on the ship and they had started to turn on the engines, but Leia was faltering more and more, her run becoming a jog, her jog a walk and then: silence.

"This isn't you Ben," she called and his troopers fixed to shoot at her. He raised a hand.

"This is me...you're as weak as him," the vocoder spoke.

You sighed eyes flickering between the Oragana-Solo's "and you ____ do pretend you don't know what's best for you. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with my mother?"

"You know that everything I stand for Kylo, is not taking a side," you moved so you were in between them both, a metaphor for your indecision.

You turned your back to Leia and pleaded with Kylo, _you know what killing your...him...felt like, don't do it to her as well._

You felt your discovery with him, perhaps there was still some light in him after all, in fact you knew there was.

Hux came over the hill in his flowing black trench coat donned with his medals and badges he had no weapons yet he did not fear a thing that unfolded in front of him as he took more steps to the top of the hill that looked down on you and Leia. Once he reached Kylo's side he shouted something inaudible, "Commander it's at your discretion".

_What was at Ren's discretion?_

You searched the scene in hope of some reform but the picture was grim. Ships hung in the air over you. Half hers: half his. Waiting for the first shot. You knew full well it wouldn't be The Resistance it had to be Kylo - it was his discretion - yet a part of you couldn't help but want to join the light if he gave the nod.

You knew Leia was innocent in this all, she wanted peace and equality, but did she have the guts to rule? To make that decision? You barely knew the woman but you were quickly analysing the right route to follow, you had ties with The Resistance now but you still had the choice to run back to him.

"This is the only way to prevail," Kylo said snapping you from your debate, you looked up to him your heart making your decision for you, Kylo gave the nod to Hux and you watched his mouth say "fire".

Although words were gone from your world - replaced by ringing - you knew what you had to do. You had all along: Leia couldn't die.

You jumped in front of the woman you barely knew taking her bullet.

Your limp body falling to the floor and you looked up into the pitch-black sky, the ocean of stars like fish swimming through the murky dark. You didn't know what was happening now, it was over, Leia would be dragged back to safety, Kylo would have left in too much pain to have made that decision. You'd die right where you fell and you'd never have to fight again. 

The sky above you screamed to life a firework display of green and red - a celebration of your death - you thought - as ships shot one another. The ground rumbled as Leia's ship started it's trip skyward to join the commemoration.

For the first time since your plea for justice you felt the pain rip through your chest it spurred you to stand and fight, not for him nor her - just for yourself. You grabbed your saber and ignited it screaming Kylo's name at the top of your voice.

A few stragglers were dancing between you and him, the resistance fighters who hadn't made it to their ships before Leia had fled. They had no chance, Troopers stood against them ten to one. They didn't seem to see you stand, so you didn't humour their fights to your left and right, you just walked through the blood soaked grass, to make it to him.

You walked past Sumi's corpse looking at her twisted features, such an easy target. Your stance wavered and you could feel the effects of your blood loss. Sound still ceasing to exist in your world and you stumbled forward to find the Commander. Your vision was a tunnel to his centre not looking back at where you'd been.

The Troopers stood their ground fixing to shoot at you, but you lacked the mental capacity to heed their warning and instead raised your saber ready to block any shots they tried to aim at you. They shared glances before looking away from you to watch the Resistance ships leave and then they parted for you, to show both the Commander and the General; monuments on top of the hill.

You stood your ground your saber still lit by your side - your only companion, "I'm gong to kill you both" you growled not stopping your intense gaze on them.

Hux held it but Kylo couldn't look at you, the General just chuckled and let his Troopers fire at you mercilessly but you had lost all ability of being afraid: something coiled deep inside you had begun to unravel.

You held every shot they fired in mid-air a wall of neon red light stuck by the force and you finally had Kylo's attention as he watched you fascinated. 

"Hux is going to be too easy, even with his Troopers. Commander Ren, will you fight me so I can win you one more time?" you smirked fixing your gaze on Kylo.

Hux didn't know what to do, he just stood dumbfounded at the situation, "Ren what is she doing?"

Kylo didn't answer he only paced in front of you like he always did but this time he was blocking you from his thoughts, how was it possible?

"Fight me!" you cried running to him, but he held you in mid-run with the force.

"Stop it ____" he shouted and you felt him trying to think.

"Ren, is that, is that," Hux kept up his absolute shock-prone glare.

"Everyone stop thinking!" Kylo shouted turning to you, you scanned him he was looking at you like a foreign body sought to swarm and plague the entire First Order.

You broke from Kylo's force hold only to run a few more feet towards him before he caught you again, you could easily break it over and over, so why was he going to so much effort to keep you away from him.

"Ren!" Hux screamed this time to get his attention his face red and you noted sweat running down his cheeks, "do something!"

"No need to be such a pussy General..." you said slyly breaking from Kylo's hold for the fifth time, "you're only proving my earlier point," you easily closed the distance between you both and swung for the Commander with your blade, he dodged you and parried you attack with a blow which hit your saber sending a painful screech over the field.

You and Kylo moved around swiftly, he dodged your attacks effortlessly but did not make an attempt to try to counter you, in stead he was trying to disarm you.

So much power was consuming you and it was unbearable. All you saw was darkness, no more Kylo, no more emotions, just dark. You wanted so badly to see them both to their end, but you were faltering, something was making you feel sick. You felt as though you were about to wretch your insides up.

**____ I love you.**

Your eyes that you hadn't known you'd shut opened once more and you saw Ben towering over you pushing you to the floor with his hands, the General was on your other side holding you down the best he could and circled around you were all his Troopers weapons fixed to kill.

 _How am I not already dead?_ you asked yourself.

Were you insane had you dreamt the whole thing? You were still on The Finalizer? Taken to absolute insanity as they try to get information from you?

Then your vision hazed and you felt tears well in your eyes, Ben had said he loved you, what in the world had he meant?

You felt your heart fluttering between your fingers, moving in synchronisation with the energy you felt coursing through your chest.

"What's happening to me!" you screamed as they both pushed you roughly into the ground.

Your body was so weak and you couldn't combat their strength or the force Kylo was also using to keep you put, "it definitely is Ren..." Hux said and it sounded barely above a whisper.

"I know," his helmet spoke.

"Dark Transfer," and with that Kylo finally knocked you out entirely.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear what on earth is reader doing now? Can't you just die already? ;) No I couldn't do that to you...or could I? Hope you've enjoyed this one!


	30. I'm Yours

  When you awoke you were bound to a metal contraption and Kylo was on a chair in front of you, his eyes were tired and he did not have his helmet to hide behind.

"What happened? Why am I not dead?" you asked your voice hoarse and burning.

"You used Dark Transfer to heal yourself," Kylo said numbly, "why did you save her?"

"Huh?" you tried to process what he had meant by Dark Transfer, you'd never heard the term before.

"My mother, why?!" Kylo shouted this time standing up.

"Because she isn't wrong." 

A silence hung over the air and you did not take the chance to elaborate he needed to take that how he pleased. She wasn't wrong about trying to fight The First Order, she wasn't wrong there was still light in him - he could take his pick.

"How did you learn to do that?" Kylo changed the subject.

"I didn't learn to, I didn't even know it was called that. Just please let me out of these restraints nothing is going to happen to me now, I'm no-"

"So you've done it before?" Kylo asked he cocked his head slightly and began to pace.

"I healed myself before, once. I was young, it was when..." you didn't want to relive the memory of your childhood captivity but flashed the memory through your mind so he would get the picture.

"Do you realise how immense your force power is to conjure that?" 

"Well....when you put it that way..." you regarded him. He was being serious, he thought you were powerful? Is that why he had you bound? Was he afraid you'd hurt him?

 _That's what is it felt like to give life?? But everything was so dark and I did it by using the dark side so after all why is it so bad?_  You shook the thought from your head, knowing full well the dark side wasn't what you wanted, you'd saved Leia for a reason.

"Leia and her army lack the mental ability to comprehend the need for balance, no one is truly good in life, if she couldn't see that becoming a grey jedi is the way forward then I don't think she will ever find her way forward," you answered his question from earlier "but what the First Order do isn't right either and she didn't deserve to die."

"She deserved it, just like my father," Kylo said angrily as if it wasn't your right to choose his parents fate.

"Why did you say I love you to me? If you can kill both your parents at will, without even a second thought, how did you find the ability to love me?" you said looking to the floor sadly.

"You think I said that with genuineness? I said it to stop you struggling, you would have killed me and Hux if I hadn't have intervened"

That cut like a knife and your naive heart tried to force the doubt away, pleading Kylo wasn't about to admit it twice.

You played the staring contest for a long while, trying to read each other before you spoke again, "are you afraid of me now Ben?"

"Don't call me that!" he seethed.

"So you are?" you looked down again not baring to look him in the eyes. Not wanting your heart to falter in weakness at the site of him. 

"Of course I am not-"

"Then why am I restrained?" 

"You're not" the Commander said and you frowned at him angrily he wasn't supposed to have worked you out, you still wanted him, you still craved him, you couldn't help but bow to his will.

You snapped the restraints using the force and pulled yourself off the device. 

"What now?" you sighed.

"Now I take you to Snoke and he decides what we do with a traitor-"

"Oh so I am a traitor now?" you said gritting your teeth.

"You took a bullet for the General of our enemy-"

"Surely I'm not a traitor to you though...I stopped your only family you have left from taking a bullet. I could have died for her," you growled.

"And that would be down to your own stupidity. Letting emotions get the better of you!"

"Ren! You really think I am this powerful by bottling my emotions up? No it's because I'm feeling that I didn't fucking die!"

"I'm taking you to the Supreme Leader," he said deadpan. 

"Kylo..." you pleaded this couldn't be the last of you and him. You'd be doomed to spend the rest of your miserable life on a miserable ship working for a miserable empire and the only reason you'd stayed was for him. 

"You said you were going to kill the General and I."

"Do you know what it feels like to draw power from the dark side like that?" you stared at him in disbelief was he really that stupid. 

You loved him. 

You sighed, it was over time for plan B, "she had a very important package to deliver for me Kylo,"

"What?" This caught his attention and for the first time you'd woke he looked at you with interest and not just protocol.  

"You think that after all this time of being a pet to both sides, I wouldn't have worked out how to keep myself alive?" you let out a deep breath, "let's just say The Resistance are going to be spending some time trying to fix their technology. I planted a virus on my data pad, they think there's valuable information on there regarding The First Order, so as soon as they plug it in..."

Before you could finish the sentence Kylo had you pinned against the wall, "you expect me to believe you alerted them to our camp to plant a virus? You insolent girl. I'm in charge! I decide to keep you alive or not! You're my pet for me to play with and excuses won't save you from that now-"

"Sumi alerted them! Kylo I was scared you'd never...love me. Every moment I spend in your presence is torture without you touching me," your heart was pounding faster than it ever had. Every word had been true you knew better than to lie to your Commander now. 

Your words seemed to strike a nerve in him and he got closer to you placing his palms at either side of your body, still pinning you in place with the force. 

He was breathing against your lips trying to keep hold of his impulses, "I'm taking you to Snoke."

"Kiss me," you muttered your last hope for rekindling those words he'd said to you before you'd betrayed him. 

"___," he said barely above a whisper.

"You didn't force bond with me for nothing Kylo. Just fucking admit it..." he was making you so angry your voice was shaking tears were imminent.

"You've always been my weakness," he whispered against your lips.

_Then by weak for me._

His lips connected with yours aggressively, wanting nothing but to fill you to the hilt with his cock. He'd needed it since you'd left him on the hill and so had you. 

You kissed him back with the same need, the need you had held for the past who knows how long. You'd wanted him on the hill and you'd wanted him when he'd given the order to kill Leia, you were infatuated by him and he knew it. 

He could keep you, train you but you did not belong to The First Order. True you had rigged the data pad to give The Resistance a huge set back, but once fixed they'd have all the structural weaknesses they'd wanted from you from the start. You'd been saving them piece by piece during your time with The First Order and Kylo hadn't worked that one out...yet.

It didn't matter, all that mattered was you were safe again and above all you were with him.

"You're going to have to be a little more submissive though ____," Kylo said pulling back out of breath.

"Of course...the mighty Snoke," you rolled your eyes.

"He won't be seduced by you," Kylo said.

"I only want you. Ben." you breathed against his lips.

That was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys you're doomed to stay Kylo's pet for good. Sorry to end it so abruptly towards the end few chapters, I was getting the urges to write something different. Namely the triplets AU which I have been none stop writing for some time - this will be posted in the near future - June time. 
> 
> I have to say I continue to be humbled by your lovely comments, votes, kudos, bookmarks and reads. You're truly wonderful. I have recently set up a Patreon. I'm not asking for you to have to pay for my work because that's not what I was ever about, however I'd really appreciate what help you can give me to keep motivating me to write.  I'm hoping to be able to build on personalised story requests on Patreon and some stories that won't be available to anyone else.
> 
> If you want to support me on there it would be greatly appreciated - it will be updated once my new story is posted at the moment I have no idea what I am doing on there ^^
> 
> Thanks everyone!
> 
> You are the best people!
> 
> May the force always be with you.
> 
> Els x
> 
> https://www.patreon.com/ElsBels


	31. Max

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of this story.
> 
> A little taster here but to be honest I felt it worked well as its own chapter. Everything should be following on from my last story but for those of you who have seen The Last Jedi, the timing is a bit wrong because obviously the second film starts right after TFA ends. However if you imagine TLJ starts a few months after TFA this is how my story is working.
> 
> Hope that made an ounce of sense.
> 
> Els x

Your tongue darted between his, hands moving to find his hips to guide his sloppy movements into yours. Your mind was so fogged and you tried to recall how you’d gotten yourself into this situation. Coins splashed across your vision.   
  
...   
  
“Max, can’t we take this back to your ship?” you licked up along his neck clutched onto his bicep as he shook his dice and threw the across the table.   
  
“Not right now beautiful I'm on a winning streak” he said kissing your lips, the action in itself seemed to intoxicate you more. Like the alcohol on his breath was enough to send your head spinning. Admittedly you’d had plenty to drink yourself drowning your sorrows with Max was your new sure fire to forget.   
  
You forced yourself in front of him pinning yourself between him and the table “Maxy....don't make me beg...” you cooed pushing your hand against his crotch hidden from the rest of your party.   
  
“Hmm you know how much I like it when you beg for me darling...” he said as the dealer called something inaudible to you. It must have been good news because Max smothered your lips in his grabbing your back and twirling you round elaborately.   
  
You grabbed your drink from the near by table and knocked it back without thought, feeling beyond help at this point. If you drank you forgot and if you forgot things weren’t so bad.   
  
“So pet shall we go celebrate now?” Max said pulling you by his side. He winked at the dealer as though it was special code you hadn’t quite grasped yet the kind of code that meant send my cheque to my bank. It didn’t matter all you wanted in that moment was to be fucked by a man you’d barely known two weeks.   
  
“Damned if I get you to the ship before I pin you and fuck you Max,” you said close to his ear which seemed to spur his actions, to wrap things up for the night, on.   
...   
  
Max pushed you harder against his ship interior the cold metal pressing against your bare back cooling the sweat that was forming there. He thrust into you now, your drunken guiding seemed to have some how helped him hit your g spot.   
  
“Fuck, fuck,” your moaning rattled off the walls and he grunted in his own pleasure, “no one quite compares to you ___” as if to help his own ego rather than your own.   
  
“Really Max?” You moaned a midst a abundance of profanities. “Maxy I'm going to...fuck” your hands pushed up his back, coated in his sweat now too. Grabbing the back of his neck for support as your brain spun out of control his actions a blur as your body seemed to step in and your mind gave out.   
  
“Cum for me beautiful,” he groaned thrusting hard against your cervix, it seemed to feel so sore now you thought about it and quite rightly you thought. You couldn’t quite remember the last night you hadn’t had sex with Max, you’d become quite the duo in the casino.   
  
Max’s fingers reached for your clit and pushed against it harshly, the need for you to cum, to tighten around his cock, so greedy for his own orgasm. You felt your body tighten, heard your lips scream his name, felt his hot cum force it’s way into your cunt, and yet your orgasm didn’t follow only need and want and the name of your true lover, aching for him. Nothing would, not the alcohol, not drugs, you’d tried. Max was so handsome and amazing in bed and yet every time he got you to your breaking point you couldn’t climax, only cum, only tighten around him, only scream empty words.   
  
You should have known better.   
  
Max pushed his fingers in your mouth, and you sucked them until none of your cum remained, twisting him and pinning him against the wall now, kissing him so he tasted it also. Yet despite it all it wasn’t right. You pulled away smiling at him your brain a jumble of mixed, stupid emotions you couldn’t deal with and before you could ask to go to bed. He led you there tucked you in and left.   
  
Your mind faded to black.

 


	32. Her

You tried to will yourself awake and get out of bed. The empty spot beside you had startled you; surely Max should be back to bed now. You had been so sure he’d gotten in beside you. You felt the cold spot between your palm, twisting your naked body to plant your feet on the cold steel of the floor. You shuddered senses beginning to awake and feel the ships motion. But before you could think of anything else you bolted to the bathroom on the ship.   
  
Fingers gripping either side of the toilet bowl you emptied out as much as you could. A sticky stream of liquid spluttering in front of your dazed vision.  
  
After retching for some time, your body seemed satisfied you couldn’t throw up any more of last night's liquids. You slumped back against the bathroom wall, you needed a shower but it seemed the least important thing right then. You wobbled upright and gripped onto the sink, turning on the tap to fill the bowl with icy cold water. You splashed some on your face before using soap to get rid of the remnants of last night.   
  
A walk to find the nearest towel seemed near on impossible now your face was dripping with water, you reached your hand behind you coaxing your usual towel across to you with the force. It required an immense amount of concentration and when the stubborn garment finally flew your way it didn’t know how to stop. You spun around to catch it blindly when it whipped you across the face. You groaned remembering how alcohol and the force didn’t like one another.   
  
You scrubbed your face with the towel and then looked in Max's mirror: it would suffice.   
  
You thought despite your desperate need for more sleep it was probably a good idea to find Max and ask him why on earth the ship was traveling at light speed to god knows where. It was rule number one as discussed, he didn’t take you on arms deals, you were sick of the game of two sides.   
  
You grumpily stumbled into the main section of the ship still entirely naked. As you were about to make it to the cockpit Max slammed on the breaks or so you thought, but after stumbling backwards harshly against the cold metal you realised he’d just jumped out of light speed and regained normal cruising.   
  
You blinked several times trying to wash away the floating specks that had started to dance across your vision and lifted your tired body off the floor, thinking you’d probably feel the bruises whenever the morning arrived.  
  
  
“Ugh Max,” you groaned rather quietly as you approached the cockpit. Your body stumbled back and forth until you grabbed the door way, suddenly a rush of thoughts feelings and words hit you, but none of which were Max's.   
  
Remembering your apparent nakedness you slunk back into the main section on board, finding a chair to hide behind.   
  
“Fuck I'm way too drunk for this shit,” you grumbled trying to regain contact with their thoughts to spy on their actions, but your force capabilities were so broken. All you could feel was the masses amount of tension, upset and unfamiliarity. You poked your head above the chair and looked down at them, three people, two of which you couldn’t ever remember seeing but one of which seemed way too familiar the very thought made your stomach knot.  
  
You tried again to concentrate on what they were thinking being too far away to hear their actual conversations now,  **get them into the First Order, leave don’t leave, ah follow the money at whatever cost.**    
  
Your head felt as though it was about to explode after you coaxed that minor detail from his brain. You closed your eyes, how you couldn’t have guessed this outcome you didn’t comprehend. You were constantly doomed to end up back here. You took your leave to get dressed before the trio would find you there, a stowaway.   
  
As the ship docked and the trio exited you made your way to the cockpit ready to attempt to fly it somewhere else. You stumbled forward from Max’s bedroom through the main section of the ship and almost made it to the control panel. A swarm of hot sweaty heat prickled it’s way across your body, engulfing you in deep concentration. The energy was so raw it reminded you how drunk you actually was, your stomach dropped and you had to force yourself not to throw up anything else that remained in your body.   
  
Your breathing hitched your mind running blank, Kylo hadn’t sensed you, too weak to project accurately to him, but that was his pain, his seething anger and yet something else, something kind and changing, moving and weak.  
  
Your hands trembled as you held yourself upright in the door way. Now wasn’t the time to have a change of heart, but you couldn’t help it. Your hand seemed to twitch under the memory of your body pressed against the same wall just last night and the empty promises of release. You knew how stupid it was, you knew you’d regret it the minute you left, but you had to find him.   
  
You flung yourself back into Max's bedroom, clipped your saber to your belt, grabbed your cloak and draped it over your frame, covering your tight fitted body suit.   
  
You hurdled sloppily over the chair in the main section of the ship and bolted through the threshold of the door. Upon exiting Max's ship you noticed where you were, some form of laundrette on board of—  
  
Snoke’s signature engulfed: you that same egoistic power you had felt the moment you'd seen him, but something was wrong the picture was off. You called out to Kylo but your brain stung and everything pulsated around you as you stormed out of the laundrette and into the main corridor.   
  
“Shit, come on come on,” you growled trying to remember the schematic of the blasted ship, through hexed visions and far too much alcohol.   
  
Kylo’s anger rose to meet his weakness and as it reached climax, you felt Snoke’s snap, ricochet within you and shatter across your vision. You pushed further scared you’d find your lover dead, but as you followed his signature like a scent through the corridors you realised he was still there hanging on.   
  
You rounded another corner not caring if people recognised you, you’d make it to Ren whether it was the last thing you did.   
  
Closer still and you latched onto a new emotion this time was it lust?   
  
You halted in your tracks remembering all the times he’d taken you, owned you, fucked you into the very depths of obsidian,  _master Ren_  you cooed through your signature.   
  
He must have heard you this time because it was though your body had been teleported to his and you saw him held tightly in place by a red guard, panicking as he struggled with his offender. The guard had him held tightly in a headlock and Ren was trying desperately not to falter his strength. You having noticed he didn’t have his saber to fight him off, you tried desperately to unclip yours, but your fingers stumbled over the notches and all you could do was watch as time slowed. You cursed your stupidity although so real so very touchable he was but a vision. A ricochet of reality joined together by a string that wired you together. A bond so unbreakable, though you tried, that meant only one thing: he was yours and you were his.   
  
Your feet pounded against the floor with more vigour, more intent and purpose as you watched Kylo falter, his arms buckling. You had almost given up on the thought of saving him when out of the corner of your vision you saw her—  
  
That snake. That horrible witch. The one who’d ruined everything, taken everything. Your connection with Kylo faltered and yet the bond held on long enough to see Kylo accept her help and skewer the guard straight through his helmet, with her generous gift of a saber.   
  
You broke from him entirely and pushed your tired intoxicated body further , harder to reach him before she caused any more damage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late update, it's been a bit of a rollercoaster getting here and I wish someone would force choke some sense into me (more specifically Kylo, whilst naked...and I'm in handcuffs...) *ahem* I wanted to thank you all for your kind words whilst I've been on hiatus. I've been through some lonely times these last few months and when I read your comments it makes me feel loved and gives me a little booster even if it's a joke or a few emojis.
> 
> Love you guys, Els x 


	33. Gone

As you burst through the doors to the pairs feud, you noticed Luke's saber hovering in the air between them. Both of them playing tug of war with the invisible strings to get the device back to themselves. Looking past that you found your eyes trailing over Snoke, more precisely, half of him. His lower, still sat on his chair, his upper crumpled against the floor.

"Stop!" you screamed now and Kylo was first to turn to face you. Rey was next and whilst their concentration was on you, you used as much force power as you could muster to shatter the confounded thing. After all it was Rey's toy and you didn't see fit that she should keep it. The device twisted and cracked under the pressure of the three of your force signatures and before you could control yours and stop it, the saber fractured and imploded shooting out a dazzling blue light convulsing around you.

Your head pulsed and you knees caved in under the pressure and before you knew it the three of you were on your backs knocked unconscious.

...

You peeled back your eye lids to find the room where you'd collapsed, you noted a large amount of fire had broke out around you and several red guards were littered among the flames. You tried to regain your hearing next but at the current moment all you could tune was an intense ringing. Sitting up now you scanned the room for Rey and Kylo but found yourself only looking at the commander's still unconscious body. You groaned as you propped your body against a near by wall closing your eyes for a while to catch up with yourself.

You still felt the effects of a killer hang over but taking another look at Kylo you doubted your situation was worse than his. You used the wall to your advantage and pushed your exhausted frame up further until you were upright, rubbing your eyes as you did so.

Before you opened them, your hearing made its way back to you and you could make out the distinctive sound of Hux's boots on the Durasteel.  _Oh fuck_ , you thought as you opened your eyes to him now, his body hovering over your Commanders for the first time with a sense of stature, more so than you thought he'd ever experienced. He glanced over to Snoke, and then back to Ren.

 **I should just do it** , he thought whilst curling his fingers around his weapon in his coat pocket, he moved it out of his breast as you grabbed hold of yours.

"Try it and I'll kill you," you growled igniting your saber and stepping forward from the shadows.

"You," he seethed pushing the device back in his pocket "you try anything I'll—"

You raised your arm and tightened your invisible fingers around his neck, "you'll what General? How do you propose you'll manage anything all the way over there?"

He choked against your hold, "did you kill our Supreme Leader?"

You scoffed "I only wish I got to kill the stupid fuck," you released Hux as Kylo stirred.

"What...happened?" Hux turned his attention to Kylo now who was struggling to his feet.

"The girl, she killed Snoke," Kylo's signature bended around you and you knew he was lying, but what was the point in saying anything.

"Which girl you impudent fool?" Hux snarled balling his fists.

You rolled your eyes, doing your best to stroll as seductively forward as you could, however drunk you felt, "Why would I come here from who knows where just to kill Snoke?"

Kylo spun on his heel, swinging his arm round to use the force. He pulled you a few inches off the ground then flung you against the wall, "What are you doing here?"

"I wish I could fucking tell you," you growled as he released you.

"Don't tell me, I don't care. General prepare your men I want a full siege on that rebel base let's finish this," Kylo's attention on you was so tiny in that moment that you almost felt sadness.

He began to march away put turned to the General who seemed not to want to move, "Finish this? Who do you think you're talking to? You presumed to command my army. Our Supreme Leader is Dead! We have no ruler!"

Kylo began to use the force to choke Hux just as you had minutes ago.

"The Supreme Leader is dead!" Kylo snarled through gritted teeth.

"Long live the Supreme Leader" Hux choked, dropping to his knees.

"Pick a side," Kylo said to you now as he stormed through the door.

You looked at Hux then back to where Kylo had stormed off. Then Hux again "funny General I didn't take you to be so submissive," you scoffed.

He helped himself to his feet, dusting himself off and clearing his throat, "well—" he came up short.

"Don't worry about it, it's likely I've done worse," you rolled your eyes sheathing your saber back into it's slot. He regarded you like he couldn't understand why you had chosen not to be sarcastic, "I hate Rey as much as the next First Order follower but I have a feeling Kylo sees something in her..."

He didn't answer perhaps because he was perplexed at to what you referred.

"Something inside her... To what I refer. Well I....For fuck sake I think he wants to fuck her!" you grumbled.

He looked at you again, completely dumbfounded you were having a somewhat normal conversation, "She killed Snoke she's an enemy of our empire—my empire"

You held your eyeballs in place before the rolled back, "yes she killed the thousand year old crinkle, so what I just can't stand her because of—"

"—you love him don't you?" Hux asked silently.

You didn't answer.

"Look we both have mutual intentions, let's get Kylo away from Rey at whatever cost, that way I don't expect anything else from you."

"Are you really trying to convince me to stay?" you smirked "I'm flattered."

He sighed loudly and stormed off in the direction Kylo had gone, "so we'll see you in the Command shuttle then?"

"Indefinitely" you mumbled knowing how much you'd regret it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did it take me so long to update?   
> .  
> .  
> .  
> I'm lazy.  
> I've had this chapter done for a while but kept forgetting to upload. Here it is though and as a bonus I have the next chapter ready for upload within the week! I'm not even lying.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> Promise.  
> Love Els x


	34. Girl Power

You looked at yourself in the Durasteel. Nonchalantly walking through the chaos on the ship. You admired your outfit admittedly it was very flattering but your face had seen better days. Your intentions to re-join Kylo and Hux in the shuttle seemed to falter each step you took. Your fingers ebbed back from your saber which you hadn’t realised you’d been stroking out of comfort.   
  
“Why do I constantly have to baby him?" a few more laboured steps.

"No you know what I don’t even care let him have Rey...she’s prettier...better with the force... she clearly has a bond with him—”

“____,” your name resonated from behind you snapping you from your chiding. You knew the voice it was dip dyed with her signature, somewhere between senses, or perhaps something small and crying.   
  
“Lu—?” You turned to face Lucia but was knocked backwards as she squished you into a hug, obscured by something which seemed to be sandwiched between you. 

“Why are you here she sobbed,” pulling away to what you could now see was her huge bump.  

“Oh—” your mind faded off as you stared blatantly at her stomach, “I was in the neighbourhood...” 

“I am so sorry for nearly killing you..." more tears fell from her cheeks.

"It's fine. I assure you if I had wanted you off me I could have capably done so." 

She smiled now, laughed even, perhaps it was the hormones but the bump on her stomach had seemed to have mellowed your opinion of her. 

"So..." she cooed now, "does Kylo know you are in the neighbourhood...?” she loved the gossip, way too much for her own good, I mean it wasn't as though the ship was exploding or anything. 

“Well yes... I...we...him and Hux...” you stumbled as you grabbed her hand impatiently. You began pulling her along at a brisk pace to keep her moving. 

“You saw Hux!!! You’ve seen fucking Hux and I’m carrying his baby!?” she fumed and your intentions to keep her mind off the fact you were practically dragging her to the shuttle doors seemed to have been accomplished.

“Yes I saw him. I’m taking you to him now. Please don’t whittle on about how you’ve been looking for him. I know. I can hear your thoughts. Likewise they’re not in the right order. I’m entirely hung over and I can’t deal with the shambles that’s going on not only in your brain but in your stomach too. I don’t think you quite realise how impossibly hard it is to block when you’re hung over.”   
  
“You can hear my babies thoughts too?” she gawked stumbling over her own feet as she now danced to keep up with you.

“Yes..." you paused for reflection - how to explain the force to a muggle popped into your brain, "No...I can’t explain it, she doesn’t understand English yet so it’s more like the weight of her presence.”  

“It’s a girl!” she shouted now. 

Your mental despair flooded your complexion and you tried and failed to carry on walking without acknowledging her question.

Without a response from you Lucia frowned her pace had slowed and now she was almost stationary, you turned to face her. She was pouting and staring at the ground, you hadn't needed the force to see the cogs in her brain physically turning to form a coherent sentence, “I've been begging Hux to ask Kylo for months to tell me the gender,” you gave a lopsided smile, too agitated to keep up a facade. Angry at the fact you were stupid enough to let go of her hand earlier, you regained it and started a steady pace once more to get her to the command shuttle before the three of you died a horrible death. 

“It’s not an exact science you know Lu,” you groaned trying to keep her intentions on walking. 

You turned to look at her sulking face before a throbbing pain pulsed through your skull, "fuck" you wheezed Lucia overtaking you now.

"What is it?" she asked impatiently.

"Something wrong in the command shuttle, there are a million frenzied thoughts right around the corner and fuck, they're so painful to listen to."

"Stop being a child it's just a hang over," she said grumpily. You had really wished you could keep up with her amalgamation of emotions but it wasn't working.

You slowly pushed yourself up from the floor not realising you had dropped to your knees, "oh fuck the command shuttle's not moving!” you shouted now storming onto the shuttle leaving Lucia behind.

"Come on then, what is going on?” you sighed as you entered.

“Don’t ask her!” Kylo fumed, sending Hux a biting stare.

Your eyes scrambled over the ship. It wasn’t humming, or vibrating or making any noise for that matter.  

Not wanting to explode with the rest of Snoke's ship, you put on your power-suit and made Hux your target, “Hux. Let's get real here, despite Kylo's need to think he's the Supreme Leader at this point, I brought your kittens,” you bit your lip as you stared dead pan at him. "and I don't think you want them to die..."

 The other members of the team on board all turned their attention to Hux and their thoughts escalated ten fold. As if by chance Lucia entered the shuttle slowly and carefully, panting slightly.

He looked at you and then at Kylo, snarling, “fix the ship...” 

You smirked at him.

“NOW!” he shouted not wanting to have to deal with the power play or more likely the constant spat you and Kylo found yourselves in.

 _Kylo move..._ you growled to him through the force. You couldn’t comprehend why you felt so confident in that moment. It wasn’t like you could think straight, what with everyone’s immense attention and dependency on you. How likely was it that you could fix the ship?  

You scanned the controls for an indication as to what was causing an issue, “oh fuck” you mumbled, “what do I have to work with?”  

Hux pointed to the distinct lack of utensils the last engineer must have left in there. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath grabbing the bundle of wires a wrench and a pair of pliers.

“I need electrical tape. Please tell me one of you has some?” you looked about the room, eye to eye with a plethora of blank expressions, “no? Well fuck let’s hope Kylo didn’t slash up my secret stash with one of his child like tantrums!” you groaned as though he wasn’t stood slap bang in the middle of the room.

You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, your brain capable of only one task at the moment. Though you assumed it would have been something like 'how dare she make a fool of me, I am her supreme leader' you chuckled at the thought. 

"Something funny?" Kylo said impatiently through gritted teeth.  

You ignored him sliding to the back of your old work station and rummaged the hollow panel there, a screw driver, a empty chocolate packet, a nut and bolt, a uniform button and finally some electrical tape.

Everyone followed you with their watchful eyes as you regained position against the wall adjoining the controls, “so what is it?” Kylo huffed.  
  
“It’s the compressor,” you said squatting to remove the panel from below you. The action it’s self onset a head rush.  

“Then get rid of it! I don’t have time for your painfully slow attitude.” 

“Kylo.” You dropped the wrench and panel with a loud clatter, spinning around and gritting your teeth, “Commander Ren if I remove the fucking compressor the ship won’t move. Do you understand what a compressor does? It compresses! People don’t build ships like. Fuck it shove a compressor in there and heck why not add a calcinator just for a laugh! Either stand there and be quiet or go and sit in the back because I can’t deal with your presence right now!” you slammed your hands on the floor and pushed yourself up returning to your work. 

Kylo was silent. 

You tried to re-concentrate on the task at hand but Hux's thoughts suddenly drown you. Your previous dominating tone against the commander had turned him on. His sudden desire to keep down his erection like a pulse through your entire body, “Hux!” you took in a deep breath. 

“What?” he said as though he had been caught.

“Do. Me. A. Huge. Favour....” you breathed between each word. Grabbing your spare wires, “stop thinking."

“Actually I agree with her on that.” Kylo chided. 

The rest of the crews attention went from you, to Hux, to Kylo and back to you. 

You tried to ignore the tension and began rewiring the compressor. It was nothing but a damaged cable it was easily fixed but it would only be temporary. You’d have to rip out the entire panelling to fix it for the long term. Either that or Kylo would slowly run out of oxygen between here and returning to the another ship. You chuckled slightly at the thought of him slowly suffocating whilst screaming you had been right about a compressor being rather important. The logistics of it too complicated for him to comprehend.

“Which one of you can keep your thoughts at bay long enough to hold me a wire in place?” you asked.

Someone joined your side and you were happy to realise it was a female crew member, clearly needing out of the awkward as much as you did. You handed her the wires to hold together and began wrapping the tape around them to join them firmly.  

You reattached the panel and waltzed to the controls. You grabbed Kylo by the hand and pushed his palm against the touch sensitive square. Kylo angrily snatched his hand back and ordered the poor pilot to go. He pulled up the rear ramp door and started to hover the machine.   
  
“This better work!” Kylo cursed and took a seat. Hux took another next to Lucia and you opted for one further away from the both next to the young woman who had held your wires earlier. As you clicked in your seatbelt the ship went hurtling forward into the sea of black.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating later than I previously mentioned. 
> 
> It's not like my usual 6 months late regime though so I pride myself on that at least. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter and please don't hate me for the Harry Potter cross over, maybe they read it in a galaxy far far away? Haha it just fit and I am a massive nerd so it had to be done.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this one and get ready for some smut!
> 
> LOVE Y'ALL - Els <3


	35. Luke

"I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." You heard Luke say as you watched the scene unfold in front of your, a plume of red dust seeming to be constantly snaking through the air around the ships screens.

"I'm sure you are!" this time came Kylo's voice, you looked over at Hux who seemed nervous, the other crew members were trying and failing to busy themselves in anything but the family feud unfolding before your eyes.

You tried to focus on the window the ships interior, but every time Kylo spoke your body's impulse was to lock onto him. The sensation had your thrown toward the scene whilst being sat comfortably on board, and yet you can taste the air, salty and cold.

"The Resistance is dead," after Kylo's next statement you heaved yourself back into the ship, the sheer effort it had taken to pull away from Kylo's signature making your body shake.

"The war is over. And when I kill you...I will have killed the last Jedi," Kylo spat and you could have sworn you had heard it from within the ship.

"Excuse me Miss, you're shaking--" the lady sat beside you gently placed a warm palm on your forearm the action had worked to keep you inside the ship for now. You lulled against her, your stomach reeling as you dragged your heavy head away from her.

**Amazing.**

**Every word of what you just said...**

**was wrong.**

**The Rebellion is reborn today.**

**The war...**

**is just beginning.**

**And I will not be THE LAST** **JEDI**

You squeezed her hand pulling it off your arm, "I'm fine--it's Kylo, he's making me watch, I can't stop it, it's like he wants to prove a point--"

She may have said something but before you could move closer to her lips to hear it, you were flung back through the window and out into the red dirt.

**I'll destroy her...**

**and you...**

**and all of it.**

Kylo barked right beside you. You had decided it was probably going to be better if you stood watching them, rather than trying your best not to be there. You sighed looking at the pair for the first time, Kylo's red saber glinting off the unbroken surface of white snow, but further fuelling the glow of the unearthed red dirt. Then you looked at Luke's blue saber, like a dazzling rippled fountain of water pouring out of it's base.

_Luke...his saber..._

You pulled away from them both, brought your senses back to the ship with ease. The girl next to you had put her arms around your shoulders perhaps out of sympathy of your earlier statement, or more likely to keep you on the seat. You smiled at her gesture, hopping down from the chair and forcing your way to the door release at the back of the ship. You pushed it hard and stumbled out of the ship before the ramp was all the way down, before Hux had chance to bombard you with a lecture.

"No. Strike me down in anger and I'll always be with you," you heard Luke say in the distance his tone, wise and calming.

"Kylo wait stop," you felt your feed pound the untouched white floor with such immense force you thought you might have snapped your ankles by the time you reached the pair. You pushed hard against the floor to get the traction you needed to sprint up to them, the lactic acid building in your throat was enough to get you to pull up short and heave the last remnants of what was keeping you functioning up.

"Just like your father," you heard Luke say, practically in between them now, just one more push and you could block Kylo's next blow.

"Kylo!" you spluttered closing the gap between the three of you, he had been preparing to aim once last swooping blow at the old man, but instead of tearing him in two, his blade ricocheted off yours, "he's not real Ben!"

"No," he murmured as you turned to touch your blade straight through the holographic figure in front of you both.

"She's smarter than you, you should keep her, she might teach you something I am afraid I never could," he smiled at you and you could see his inner pain, he was hurting badly, trying to hold on forever, "see you around, kid."

"No!" Kylo wailed watching you carefully as the figure behind you evaporated.

"Fuck, it's you... it's-" Kylo had screamed the profanity but now he was dawning on you angry but confused.

You took a step back noticing an armarder of people running towards you both, ready to power into the building and take what they had come for. The Resistance.

You let the pass you, even him. You let them go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a short little chapter here which I am so excited to say leads up into a whole fuck tonne of smut. Which I've been desperate to write for so long. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Love Els x


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